today's cell was one that really got into me.

"Where Is God When Tragedy Strikes?"
Mark told us to think through what has happen in your life that makes us so in distress.
what makes us ask some questions like "why me?" "why now?" mostly all the why questions.
actually, i didnt know what to say. i have been through so many tough situations. its so hard to make a decision which to say. one happened recently and one happened last year. this two were the ones that still remain fresh in my mine.

when it was my turn to speak, i just quickly decided to say the one that happened last year.
it was actually hard for me to say what happen recently. cos Mark knew something.
there was this urge in me to cry, cos it was something that i really didnt want it to happen.
but i really had to control, cos no one saw me cry at all. maybe one or two.

i wont say it out. cos Mark said its kept within the four walls. some other friends already knew. and i really didnt want to bring it all up again. where all the blaming starts all over again.

when cell ended, i really wanted to grab hold of Mark and tell him everything that i was going through. it seems that now, prayer was the only thing. it seems i needed Mark's prayer. but i just cant get myself to speak. something seems to be holding me back. but in the end, i didnt tell him anything.

Mark told us to take this home with us and always remember:
"God will always be there, through any circumstances, through good times and bad"

Psalm 77: 1-9
I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me;
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.

I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.

My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
"Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favour again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"

i told leti about it. and her weirdest idea was to slap ....!
how could i ever bring myself up to slap ....?
it seems leti is getting all weird.

benita thinks he is lying. who on earth knows he is lying?
not me, not you, only God knows. but i am trying my best not to think to much.

it seems i really needed wenxi to wake me up again. ):
and i guess i have to say bye bye to my red crumpler tote! ):
if only i am putting into a box and sending it away for the time being.
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maybe, i should listen and buy a jigsaw to do! sounds fun.
MONEY PLEASE?!

and....
and....
and....

FERNANDO ALONOS WON THE F1 RACE!
Lewis Hamilton, what you doing man!