"What could the reason be?"

stayed home the whole day. its really boring just to stay home all day long.
spend my day doing the blogskin and watched a movie, jap movie.

Tada Kimi wo Aishiteru
"She used to lie very often."

Due to his inferiority complex, Makoto shies away from other people, but Shizuru manages to make him open up to her. Because of their friendship, Shizuru takes interest in photography and they often go to a forest, partially hidden from the public, to take photos.

Shizuru wants nothing but to be at Makoto's side. When Makoto starts liking a college friend Miyuki, Shizuru decides that she too will like Miyuki and becomes her friend.

One day, Makoto asks Shizuru what birthday present she would like. With her interest in a photography contest, Shizuru wants a photo of them kissing in the hidden forest.

Since that day of the forest kiss Shizuru disappears from Makoto's life.




a beautiful love story. its worth watching though. YAY! i watched it!
and i so going to watch Renai Shashin{jap movie}

Renai Shashin
A brief but true love develops between Makoto and the girl of his dreams, Shizuru.

Makoto becomes jealous of Shizuru's photographic skill, which far outmatches his. He decides to leave Shizuru, and promises to return to her when he has fulfilled his dreams.

Three years later, he has still not furthered his career. He receives a letter from Shizuru from New York one day, and decides to return and find her.

Upon his arrival, he learns of a shocking and impossible revelation.

{Tada Kimi wo Aishiteru is about the same as this movie, but i suppose storyline is different? why not check it out yourselves (: }

NETTE'S TAG TO ME:

sought in God in the toughest times. i'm not being a very good testimony
for this, but i realise that even the good times are meaningless without God smiling down on you. there's this favourite verse of mine that always speaks to me whenever i read it. wait, let me go find it.

psalms 121:1-8
i lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord,the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
He will not let your foot slip- He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm u by day,nor the moon by night.
the Lord will keep u from all harm- he will watch over your life;
the Lord will warch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

hope this will speak to you. i'm still here for you, boyfriend! i love you!:)

reading nette's tag to me, really made me tear. seriously!
she constantly reminds me that God was always there.
its just me, i didnt want to admit. but still, she was there.
she is just one that never stops being there for me.
how sweet can she be? VERY SWEET!

THANK YOU SWEETHEART! I LOVE YOU.

though, i am still not over it, i am trying my best.
but still, i mustnt lie, i still love him. ):

{/edits}
I FREAKING LOVE ICONS! (:

OMGOSH!

Wu Zun is a Brunei-born Chinese actor, singer, a former model, and gym instructor. He is currently a member of the boy band Fahrenheit, and is widely known as the protagonist in the Taiwanese idol dramas Hanazakarino Kimitachihe (花樣少年少女) and Tokyo Juliet (東方茱麗葉).

Goh Kiat Chun was born October 10, 1980, in Brunei. He studied at the Chung Hwa Middle School in Bandar Seri Begawan. Later, he graduated from RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia, with distinction and a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. Wu Zun was a model for Yi Lin (伊林) in Taiwan and in [Diva Models] in Singapore. He speaks, Taiwanese, English, Malay, Mandarin, and Cantonese. He manages a family-owned gym club, Fitness Zone in Brunei . He comes from a rich family background (Top 10 Richest Families in Brunei); his family is the Sole Dealer of Mitsubishi Motors in Brunei, operating in the name Goh Hock Kee Motors. Goh Hock Kee was his grandfather. He was a National basketball player for his country. He is also the last and only foreign member to join the boy band, Fahrenheit, before their rise to stardom.


Wu Zun is under the "Best Looking Asian Male" category!

just look at his whole profile.
THIS IS JUST SO AMAZING! CRAZY MAN!

HE IS A RICH KID MAN!!!!

p.s: its just a random post okay!

I SO WANT TO SIT ON THIS AGAIN! SPOT ME! {wearing white socks}

today's cell was one that really got into me.

"Where Is God When Tragedy Strikes?"
Mark told us to think through what has happen in your life that makes us so in distress.
what makes us ask some questions like "why me?" "why now?" mostly all the why questions.
actually, i didnt know what to say. i have been through so many tough situations. its so hard to make a decision which to say. one happened recently and one happened last year. this two were the ones that still remain fresh in my mine.

when it was my turn to speak, i just quickly decided to say the one that happened last year.
it was actually hard for me to say what happen recently. cos Mark knew something.
there was this urge in me to cry, cos it was something that i really didnt want it to happen.
but i really had to control, cos no one saw me cry at all. maybe one or two.

i wont say it out. cos Mark said its kept within the four walls. some other friends already knew. and i really didnt want to bring it all up again. where all the blaming starts all over again.

when cell ended, i really wanted to grab hold of Mark and tell him everything that i was going through. it seems that now, prayer was the only thing. it seems i needed Mark's prayer. but i just cant get myself to speak. something seems to be holding me back. but in the end, i didnt tell him anything.

Mark told us to take this home with us and always remember:
"God will always be there, through any circumstances, through good times and bad"

Psalm 77: 1-9
I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me;
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.

I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.

My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
"Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favour again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"

i told leti about it. and her weirdest idea was to slap ....!
how could i ever bring myself up to slap ....?
it seems leti is getting all weird.

benita thinks he is lying. who on earth knows he is lying?
not me, not you, only God knows. but i am trying my best not to think to much.

it seems i really needed wenxi to wake me up again. ):
and i guess i have to say bye bye to my red crumpler tote! ):
if only i am putting into a box and sending it away for the time being.
-----

maybe, i should listen and buy a jigsaw to do! sounds fun.
MONEY PLEASE?!

and....
and....
and....

FERNANDO ALONOS WON THE F1 RACE!
Lewis Hamilton, what you doing man!

that sentence, i will always remember.
you once told me why you wrote it.
and now, you wrote it again.
i dont know whats the meaning now.
but all i could do is nothing.
thats cos i am nothing to you anymore.

OMGOSH! just look at Geun-seok Jang! HIS SMILE!
HE IS WAY TOO CUTE! man! too cute!
gosh! GIRLS, MESMERIZED?



Bottom: Geun-seok Jang

I AM SO GOING TO WATCH THIS MOVIE AGAIN!
thats because of Geun-seok Jang!

*random post

it sinks in too fast, uncontrollably.
but when it reaches its ending point, things cant revert back.
its hard to forget, its hard to move on.
if only, i didnt fall in love, everything should be fine.
i wouldnt even be scared to fall back in love.
because of you, i felt so so scared and its the first time i felt it.
i totally lost faith and trust in love, thinking i wouldnt be loved again.

when things change, can things change back to what it is before?
if only i was living in fantasy, maybe magic would help.
but this is reality, FACE IT. thats the only way.
how am i going to face it, when i am already so weak inside?

God, i need strength.

"Maybe, I was totally in a wrong, in a wrong to fall in love."
Can we actually control our feelings&emotions?

just so confuse. TELL ME, tell me what to do.
there is just two choices to choose from.
but what will be my conclusion be?
finding ways to get the answer.
but why, why is it so difficult?
i need to know the answer soon.

if only i understand those words, i will know what they are singing.
but from the music itself, it tells everything.

random:
looking at J everytime, makes me want to laugh like siao!
J just reminds me of that ring he gave when we were kiddies, before he left for Mexico.
funny eh? now, i am a total stranger to him. he doesnt even remember me? ):

its super embarrassing can! both leti and i were laughing like some mad woman.

boy, you are just way too unforgettable.

"Will you? Can I? Should We?"

well, came back from overseas on saturday night.
had really a fun time there. GREAT!
having brother with me was much better than not having anyone with me.
we had fun disturbing each other and having fun sleeping in the same room every night!
had such a funny tour guide! i kinda miss him now! LOL!
i so going back next time. I WANNA SHOP MORE.

should have taken a video of him singing "3 Little Bears"{korean song}
DANG! i didnt! he look super cute when he sing it with actions!


i dont want to blog everything out. cos it will take me a long long long time!

tigger went with me too. how nice!
-----

training. i was super late.
training wasnt that bad today. quite slack!
yayness for me! cos i was so tired to swim. ):

walking into school just makes me want to scream shout cry.
what he said, was all lies afterall. since we even started!
not stating everything out. its bad, ITS HURTING ENOUGH TO RECALL THEM!
the pain its like killing me. i am just so scared nowadays when i think of love.
):):):):

where the hell are you?!
all i wanted was give it one more try. ):

can i please be yours again? ):

leaving soon. i dont really know how i am feeling now.
excited or just had a feeling of not going anymore? both?
i dont know, but i have been waiting for this day for quite long.
i really wanted to runaway from things. or rather ITS A NEED.
it seems i really needed it. but i not sure if it will help just for a week.
i need a month! maybe a year. sigh. i just need it. ):

thinking everything was going to be perfect, but i was wrong.
i was just being too naive. and nothing's going to change it. ITS ME! ):

all this time, i thought it was gone. thinking i have gotten over it.
but why, why do i feel the pain again? all over again. it hurts. ):

boy, i so going to miss you. ):

"If only I had one wish, I wish time could return to what its like before."

080908monday to 100908wednesday
it was stayover at nette's place. YESH!
first time okay?! i was so happy when mum said i could stayover at her place.
thats cos my parents wont keen of me going for my class chalet(poly).
they were kinda worried though. and i was a little indecisive whether to go or not.
so just trying not to let my parents worried, i decided not to go.
they were aright with me staying over at nette's place. COOL!

i was suppose to stay only for a night. when hwing called to ask if could stayover to play bridge.
stayover just to play bridge. FUNNY!
so i had to ask my mum first right? she was also okay with it.
the good thing is, i brought extra clothes. then i could stayfor another night! YAY!

the both of us slept late for the first night. at 3.30.
i didnt stay up that late before okay!

the second night was worse.
wenxi slept first, then me, then hwing, then nette.
we were all suppose to play bridge the whole night.
but it seems all of us didnt have the mood, except hwing.
so we watched shows, while wenxi was sleeping.
hwing took out so many dvd la. and settled with only one show. "Wang Zi Bian Qing Wa"
so i slept rather late at 5 plus. this is the latest la! HEH.
we all woke up at 1pm and my back aches that 'cos i slept on the floor.

so now, i body clock is in a mess! cant sleep for nuts!

110908thursday
library with mum.
i was just there to be her hand!
carry her groceries! ):

and i went for training in the evening
200m free(reserve)
800m free(reserve)

whoever is swimming 800m free, please turn up and swim.
if not i will die from swimming 16 laps, FOR YOU!

danny: " thank you, dorcas. nice doing business with you."
W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R DANNY! retarded person. LOL.
{finally i know your name!} crush?! - nah! joking!

120908TODAY
out with mum and brother.
head to penninsula plaza to get black white films
then, to TANGS to get our luggage. its orange! AND I SO LOVE IT!
walked to JOHN LITTLE. to look for ziplock bag. NONE!
so we head home! tired!

came home and watched another movie.

The melodramatic storyline is based around a popular 17-year-old high school senior, "Natalie," who thinks she's got life figured out, until she meets and falls for Keith Zetterstrom, a new student, played by Jesse McCartney. Natalie is at first annoyed by her new chemistry class lab partner, but she ultimately falls for him and discovers that Keith is hiding a dark secret, with tragic and sad results. The film will be released following the Jesse Mccartney concert on Saturday September 13th, 2008 at 7:30 PM. Mandalay resort, Las Vegas, NV.

In theaters starting Friday September 19th 2008.

"in theatres on Friday September 19th 2008" I WATCHED IT ALREADY! PEOPLE WATCHED IT. to me, its kinda nice.

"I believe in the God, who gives me strength.
so now, Lord, I will place my faith and trust in you."

if only you could do this, i know you will be able to overcome your fear.
and trust me, you will do just fine for O's. relax!
Through God, anything is possible. if you place your trust in Him.

COOL NEWS :

1. "Another Cinderella Story" is a sequel to "The Cinderella Story" !!!!!!
but though its a sequel, the storyline seems to be alike. just that, Another Cinderella Story is like dance and music. its really nice. i watched it!

2. Andrew Seely{the man who is the main actor in "Another Cinderella Story"} was the one who sang all the HSM 1&2 songs which is sang by Zac Efron. and the songs Zac Efron sang in Hairspray.

so....
IT WAS NOT ZAC EFRON SINGING AT ALL! IT WAS ANDREW SEELY!

feeling cheated now? actually, i dont. (:

"If only you didnt start knocking on my door, I wouldnt have fallen so deeply in love with you."
but i already did. too deep that i could hardly get rid of it.

110908thursday
i was home all day till about evening to get my butt out off the house for training.
watched ISWAK2. yes, till the evening.
i totally dragged myself out for training. i kinda dread it now.
maybe i will stop when school reopens. but somehow, i dont want to go back to school! ):
if school doesnt open again, means i have to go for training! AND THATS BAD!

i told my captain and vice captain that i wont be going for swim team cos i will be overseas.
captain told me he is going to hunt me down! SIAO! -__-

I GOT MY HAIR CUT TOO!

the new look DORCAS SIN has!

120908friday
met up with hwee eng and wenxi at orchard to walk

THINGS I GOT SUPER AMAZED ABOUT!
- wenxi wore a skirt!
- hwing wore heels to walk around orchard -__-

hwing is super crazy okay! wearing heels to walk round orchard and worse her heels are super high. i cant even walk with such high heels. i feel so painful.

wenxi and i tried to ask her to get flats so its much more comfortable for her.
SHE REFUSE! stubborn eh!

we three saw CY too. at wheelock.

THAT CRUMPLER CAMERA BAG!!!! i want!

wenxi and i had sorta heart to heart talk when hwing left.
was really nice to talk to her. she telling me about her poly life.
it seem like all of us are having problems with poly life now.
MINE SUCKS! i dont like it at all la. i though i would happy.
but in the end, I AM NOT. ):

wenxi made me go home late. her mooncake queue is so long! and she made me accompany her go taka and walk. and both of us got crazy over wallets. she said she wanted to get me one. for my bday. but it seems like i really dont need it. the one i am using now, is just fine. getting two many wallets aint good at all. i still i like that one. heh.

came home and watched ISWAK2 {continue}
oh man! i cried at the ending la!
ZS and XQ are super sweet! {awwwww}
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
tempted to buy the dvd ISWAK 1&2! SPONSERS, ANYONE?

130908saturday
stayed home. cos daddy had went back to work.
left mum and i at home. brother had went for some YMLC in M'sia on friday.
used the lappy the whole day. checking out behind the scenes of ISWAK2.
super funny. still the both of them are super sweet. they should really be together la.

watched Green Forest My Home on teevee. they repeated it.
that show is kinda nice though. LOVE.

went out for dinner at Pasir Panjang Food Court.
fried hokkien, sweet sour tofu, chicken wings. OH MAN! love!
i planned the menu since afternoon. cos i was super hungry!
i thought we going vivo to get luggage. in the end, its late.
AND RAINING! the big pot drop on the floor lah! caused by the wind! and its super cold can!
i just drank lime juice. not supposed to drink cold drink after meal! FATTY!

DORCAS SIN SAW IVAN AT THE SAME PLACE!
cool hur! he didnt see me! ROAR! but it aint the first time.
the other time was really coincidental. coolie!
this time was didnt expect it.
S'pore is so small. sure bump into some ppl you know.

TODAY
cell sunday. so we had to wear some weird shirt to church.
see everyone wearing the same thing. like going for soccer match with that number 41 in front.

i became someone else's daughter for a few minutes. FUNNY.
lunch with everybody. then head to hospital to see someone that i didnt know.
then to People's Park to ASA tours to get things paid and ask many many question
THE STAFF IS SUPER CUTE! and we got free bags. 4 OF THEM. its ugly!

CAR WASH! i get to see china man! o.O
i mean, that china man is kinda good looking. REALLY.
daddy is regular customer. so he recognises me.
so its best for me to not look at him. but he keeps looking into the car.
can actually feel that he is looking though. SCARY!

dinner at Uncle Gary's restaurant. LOVE
where everything goes JAP!
FOOD AND MORE FOOD. i am going way too fat!

ICE WINE FOR THE NIGHT. sweet!
made in NEW ZEALAND! cool!

i wanted to drink down with one mouth. but mummy didnt allow!

dorcas: can i just gulp it down?
mum: NO! i dont want to carry you home
dorcas: i will try my best to stay sober!
mum: NO!
dorcas: pouts!

and the alcohol percentage was only 9.7%
so i just gulp it down la. heh. NO EFFECT AT ALL!
its much better than sake! that time i drank was 60%!!!
-----

AND I SO LOVE THIS SONG!



David Archuleta - Crush

I hung up the phone tonight,
something happened for the first time, deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility that you would ever
Feel the same way about me
It’s just too much .. just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized, and I just got to know

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away

Has it ever crossed your mind when we were hanging
Spending time girl, are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take
Cause I believe we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized, and I just got to know

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away
-----

boy, you got me out of control

"Love: comes and go?? If this is the meaning to love, I rather not fall in love."
but somehow, i already did.

PHOTOsession with mummy.
i got to use my new lense. way cooler then the previous one.
i slacked the most. 'cos i really feel lazy to get out of the house.
seriously. i just wanted stay home and watch dramas and more dramas.
Shugo Chara is just way too slow in uploading due the subbers. ):
so now i have to survive with ISWAK2. and i have the urge on wasting my money to buy it.
and its bad. SPONSORS anyone?
DONATE TO THE DORCAS FUND. i will be pleased!

PHOTO class! stoning all the way.
MONOCHROME! blacky and whitey. FUN!
i forgot all the timings to develop the film. bad bad bad.
but it turn out quite well though. {note: mum is the photographer. NOT ME!}
if pictures turn out bad, mum's fault. i aint into film cameras. I AM INTO DIGITAL.

AND I SO NEED A CAMERA BAG FOR MY LOVE!
crumpler BUCKET would be nice! {evil laugh}
-----

weird people dream of weird stuff that will never ever come true.
my dream is way too weird and stupid. AND OF COURSE IT WONT COME TRUE.
had one last night. way too weird to imagine about it.

this was quite some time already.
-marry Micheal Phelps and i can be a rich tai tai!
i could imagine myself being slapped by my mum real hard on the head "DORCAS, STOP DREAMING LA!" can be painful. or rather VERY PAINFUL.

i was just dreaming, and it wont come true!
and moreover, i am not rich enough to fly to US to find MP.
thats is CRAZY!
-----

to NETTE:
my dear girl, why you asking me when am i leaving when its already stated on my little calender? you funny person. and you aint serious about sending me off, are you?

to IVAN:
hey, are you serious about sending me off? i am only away for a week la! and you have school the next day. i will be happy to see you if you could make a trip down even if there is people sending me off too.

to YOU TWO:
i am okay without you two sending me off. i not going away forever. {i wish i could}
SO YOU GUYS DECIDE ON YOUR OWN.
-----

not fated to be part of their craziness. pardon me if i am going all emo.

boy, you are just way too sweet

"If only I could be a small kid all over again, i wouldnt have known what love really means."

flying away is confirmed! FINALLY!
but some dont know where i am flying to.
my calender has already written when i am flying away.

anyone want to send me off?? {evil laugh}
joking. anyway, i think no one will want to travel all the way to changi just to see me.
sigh, its sad that no one wants to send me off too.
but i am only away for a week.
----

training last night was a KILLER!

IVP is coming. and i dont know what events to swim.
even if i am in any event, sure to be the last one lor.
i am really scared for all kinds of competition. like a phobia now.
'cos, once i know i didnt do well, i will cry. HARD!

its either 200 or 400 free. still the last one anyway. ):
----

walk in job interview with brother.
MARCHE! please please employ us.
WE NEED IT! really really badly.

another restaurant boss said we were a couple!
LAUGH OUT LOUD MAN! do we look like one?
when our surname the same? address also the same?
parents also the same? FUNNY SIA!
----

the crying starts all over again.
just give me a drink and i will drink till i get drunk

boy, you are one of a kind

"I promise, I wont break your heart."

Well, look at the phrase above. Do you think all guys just plainly say that for the fun of it? Do all of them mean what they say? As much as i want to trust them, they are just words, until you prove it to me.

Joy Molina's blog.

somehow, when they promise, they will break it, one day.
sometimes, they promise for the wrong things. and in the end, they have to break it.
and there goes, they break your heart.

no matter how hard i try to get the relationship, i know, its of no point.
though, i lost trust, hope and faith in love,but just let me try once more.
i will just do whatever i can. please?

i trust you so much, thats 'cos i love you.
you said you will bring me to whatever food i wanted and food that i never ate before.
but i guess now, i wont have a chance anymore.

that would be the first and last time i spend valentines day with you.
that would be the first and last time i spend birthdays together with you.
and there wont be the first time that i will spend christmas and new year with you.
thats how sad when everything ends and when i didnt spend enough time with you.

sometimes, i actually regret not dropping to NA or retaking my O's.

boy, i miss you so.