Saturday 31 May 2008
> 11:27:00 pm.
GOT MY NEW SLIPPERS! YES. ITS HAVAIANAS. really hope i can have another pair. cant find the one that i wanted. the one at far east. chris would know which is it. its purple stripped! HOW I WISH I COULD HAVE THAT PAIR! mum bought herself a pair too. surprisingly i could wear too. but it looks wierd. MYPAIRits pink! i cant any purple one which are nice.
this is nice too!
MUM'SPAIR
it black
AND BOTH HAS TUKY TUKY ON IT!
bday celebration at night at Uncle Gary's restuarant!
drank jap wine. bitterly sweet. wanted to drink up the whole cup at one go. but mum didnt allow!
60%ALCOHOL! i didnt know it until i saw the bottle. can see that pink bottle? thats sake!
had BIRTHDAY MAKI TOO. but didnt take photo
BIRTHDAY ICECREAM
> 10:37:00 pm.
for now, i find myself lost in the mist of darkness. not knowing what to do.I AM LOST!God,guide me.
Friday 30 May 2008
> 11:10:00 pm.
I LOVE TO HAVE BALLOONS ON BDAY!cos i never had one before.
i just wish this year's bday wont be alone again. i spend my bday last year crying. how sad was i?
VERY SAD!dont worry yulian! MY BDAY IS ALSO A SCHOOL! never had it before too!
> 10:36:00 pm.
maybe i am really just a pea in your eyes. not diamonds or jewels. i just never felt like that before. it seems like you rather be with your friends than being with me. its soon going to be one month that i wont see you. be more exact 4 WEEKS. believe it or not? suit yourself. it looks like you are fine with it. but i am not! ever put yourself in my shoes. ever thought how i would feel if you were in my situation? i feel so invisible. i feel so insecure. i feel so lonely(this is worse). its either you dont know me anymore or is i dont know you. {/edit}
one question i ask: "do you still want this to go on? (our relationship)"one more question: "do you even care?"I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL!I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL!I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL!i wish i was 7 again and not going on 17.sweets,hear this! I MISS MY PAMPERED LIFE! (hope you understand soon!)and i am tired of asking you to find your phone. if you not going to find it soon. means no sms. I HAD ENOUGH!bday celebration tml at Uncle Gary's place. i miss his food.DWARFS! i need you badly!SWEETS! i want/miss you badly! (but i maybe i am already out your life)am i strangling you?i guess i have to get use to it.STRESS! java sucks! FOR REAL! shitty java, i cant even do it! ):
Thursday 29 May 2008
> 10:50:00 pm.
THANK YOU DMIT0801. really thankful to have you guys around. encouraging me and supporting me all the time. not sure what will happen to me without you guys man! everyone tried making me smile all the time. TEDDY BEAR MARTIN tried making me smile but i ignore him. shhhh. he doesnt know that i call him teddy bear. Friend tried consoling me but he said he doesnt know what to do. diao. Joethy clean my tears for me. and she kept telling me that i will do just fine. i really hope so man. serene too told me its okay. everone doesnt know how to do. weekiat just told me he doesnt know either. its seems like the whole class dont know and like anyhow tikam tikam. WHY DID I EVEN CRY?!martin has a wierd way of stopping myself to cry. LAUGH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING. some times i find him really LAME! but still i have great classmates. I STILL HAVE DWARFS AND SWEETS TO COUNT ON TOO!AZIZI WROTE THIS. for me i guess? (:and friend, cheer up. dont cry anymore. i swear i wanted to console you just now. but i just didnt know what to do. anytime you need me, i'll be there. alright? (:
keep smiling, keep shining
knowing you can always count on zi, for suret
hats what friends are for
for good times, and bad times
i'll be on your side forever more
thats what friends are for
>sweets, dont think the wrong thing k. FRIENDS! friends only!
Wednesday 28 May 2008
> 9:12:00 pm.
bday coming soon. sigh. i really hope i can celebrate with dwarfs and boyfriend. I MISS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BADLY! i wish i could see them everyday.
I WANTS (for bday)
THAT BAG!(both me and shuyi saw it)
BIG BIG TIGGER SOFT TOY!
new pair of slippers (havaianas)
DWARFS AND BOYFRIEND!
it seems like i have alot of bags. AND I AM ASKING FOR MORE BAGS! ):
i feel so bad!
I MISS THE DWARFS BADLY!
Thursday 22 May 2008
> 9:10:00 pm.
beautiful colours all around me. purple pink blue green and others. for now i see grey. grass are grey. trees are grey. my purple has gone grey. i wish tml and every next day would be colourful.
i dont know what to. i regretted asking that question. "can we meet tml?" 3 weeks! ITS BEEN 3 WEEKS! we havent met. hardly hearing each other. not even holding a finger.
NOW, i feel like i am out of his life. his friends seems more important. one day was out with his friends, another day was sick(cant help it), another day was something he has to do, den tml "SRY,i am going out with my friends." its like what the hell! WHAT ABOUT ME?!
i am no longer important. i rather not ask any more things from him.
I MISS MY PAMPERED LIFE! now, i had to depend on myself. but i know God will be there for me though he wont be.
GIRLFRIEND, i miss you! ):
Tuesday 20 May 2008
> 7:58:00 pm.
sunday180508
morning was church. sneezing all the way during cell. claire was laughing all the way while teaching. lol. had service after that. actually there isnt anything much. had class gathering at night. at Karan's place. its only half the class. LOL. its not a gathering at all. mr ganesan didnt come! HOW SAD! i miss him and also mr firhad! hahas. we ordered macs. kfc was so troublesome! no drink. whatsoever. lol. macs was much more better. while waiting for macs to arrive. we surprised wenxi with a cake. that was super cool! hahas. but she didnt blew out the candles cos the fan did it for her. so i told blow her imaginary candles. hahas. AND SHE DID! macs arrived but one set of meal was MISSING! lol. was hwing's. we tried to order again. and hwing kept complaining to the other side of the phone. lol. trying to get supervisor? no need already. she cancelled the order. and yulian said go somewhere else eat la. hahas. nette and i wanted to go back. i wanted to go her house. but yulian wanted us to go. so we went all the way to JE to get hwing's dinner. lol. ate till about 11.45. and rushed to get the last bus. NO LAST BUS! ran to try get the last train. and again! NO LAST TRAIN. so both nette and me had to take a cab home. SAD! hahas. drove me back den nette. mummy was kinda worried that i was alone in the taxi cos before i told her the change of plans was send nette first den me. but it turn out the other way. so mummy wasnt that worried anymore. reached home rather late! lol.
>photos will be up soon!
monday190508
woke up late. like 9 plus. rush breakfast and rush to TYR sales but in the end also never buy anything. cos there isnt a swimming costume that i want! HOW FRUSTRATING! went to have an early lunch. teochew porridge! YAY! i love love love! came home and amazingly i went back to sleep and wooke up at 3 reaching 4. i reached home at like 12 plus and den i just went straight to sleep. hahas. rather tiring. and it was quite amazing that i could sleep at night! hahas.
today200508
SCHOOL! had DMD test. how scary! but i manage to complete and it about the same as the sample. was so happy that i knew how to do. hahas. but some was kinda upset cos they didnt know. PPL! DONT SAD ALREADY! louise was asking if i knew. hahas. and i told him i dont know. so he ask me this and that. den he say i know. but actually i ask ppl one. hahas. only some i do myself. yep. CM was pigging out. brought childhood snacks ad pass the rest to louise they all. cos it was his favorite. lol. okay. den went with cheekit, tian fu and zhiping to get bday present for pohkim. and both me and zhiping bused home.
AZIZI> dont sad already la. what's done is done. you cant continue brooding over it. though its 15% your quizes might pull it up. SO DONT UPSET ALREADY. others also dont know how to do. if you brood over it. what can you do? get 15% ? of course not right? SO DONT EMO ALREADY!
Tuesday 6 May 2008
> 8:03:00 pm.
God knows what i was going through. and he gave me this passage this morning.i not sure if its related but just want to share.Grief Is Messy {1Thess 4:13-18}On novenber 14,1970, a plane crash took the lives of most of the Marshal University football team, the coaching staff, many community leaders of Huntington, West Virginia. Seventy-five lives were lost in the crash, which devastated the university and the community. Two of the people who lost loved ones where Paul Griffen and Annie Cantrell. Their stories interwined becase Griffen's son, Chris, was Annie's husband to be. When Chris died, their lives were plunged into a year of pain that seems unbearable. Why? Because, as Paul told Annie in the film portraying the tragedy, "Grief is messy."He was right. grief is messy. all oof including those of us who are Christ-followers. For the believer, however, there is something beyound the tears, pain, and loss. There is hop.Writing to a church family who has seen loved ones taken in death, Paul acknowledge the reality of grief. but he challenged them not to "sorrow as others who have no hope" (1 Thess 4:13). Loss and death are part of life, but believers can face them, knowing that Christians never say goodbye for the last time. We can comfort one another(v.18) with the hope of the resurrection and a future reunion.The Lord has promised to prepare A place in heaven above -A home where we will always be With Him and those we loveBecause Christ lives, death is not tragedy but triumph.God made me forget all the things that happen. i told him to take away everything that has happen be it grief or sadness. AND HE DID. i was having so much fun in school. friends were saying i was super high. i really hope God will continue to do this slightest things in me. THANK YOU GOD!
Monday 5 May 2008
> 6:16:00 pm.
i love the quietness as i sit outside of FAIRFIELD office. mugging for O's. making people think i got detention. but it was just accompany my friend to sit there to mug mug and mug.
if i was to sit there staring at the FAIRFIELD BADGE AND THOSE WORDS" FAIRFIELD METHODIST SECONDARY SCHOOL", the slightest thing that happen everyday in school just come back to mind. quarrelling with good friends to making up with good friends. going early to school to leaving school late in the evening. meeting new friends in cca to becoming goodies in the cca. from having oppotunities in doing community service in singapore to doing them overseas(nepal). from sadness to smiles. from bitterness to sweetness. from handshakes to hugs.
FAIRFIELD had left me a good impression after leaving the school. its been 10 years. yes,10years. and i am still proud to be a fairsian and will always be.
meeting dwarfs was a great opportunity. with so many laughter and smiles. and there hardly any quarrels. maybe its just me.
meeting my sweets in primary school was awesome. didnt expect it okay!
without this few ppl in my life. HOW BORING!
I LOVE MY LIL FRIENDS AND OF COURSE I LOVE YOU SWEETS.
really thank God for placing me in FAIRFIELD(sec)
thank you mum and pap for placing mr FAIRFIELD(pri)
I WILL STILL JUMP FOR MY LOVELY FAIRFIELD!
> 4:42:00 pm.
i bet sweets went clubbing or pub or something. he reached home at like sunday morning.
rahh! let him be.
typical ppl. brother went drinking that very same day. he's into alcohol. he said joshua drove. so i suppose joshua drove him back
> 3:58:00 pm.
I AM SO LOST IN BETWEEN.
really dont want to say it out. maybe i really cant say it. cos the rest would be able to read it. i mean my classmates. i really dont want them to know. maybe they will question me after reading this. i bet azizi would ask. i think. i dont know.
but nette, chris and sweets really could understand what i had gone through. chris told me not to emo. nette told me not be sad. sweets told me not to cry. i was such a meanie and told him not bother about me. I WAS SUCH A MEANIE!
i really cant get it off my mind. i cried terribly that day when i suddenly thought of those slightest things. I REALLY MISS MY LITTLE FRIENDS.
i really feel like talking to cheryl about this when i meet her on friday during break. i really hope its just me and her. i dont know why i had this feeling of telling her this when i dont even know how is she look like, or who is she. i really hope its God's calling for me to tell her what is happening and at least she could help me. the thing is that i am afraid i would break down in front of her while telling all of those to her.
God, guide me along. i really dont know what to do.
I HAVE BEEN EMO-ING THIS FEW DAYS. sigh.
{/edit}
i really want to stop emo-ing!
