♥ my thinking, my thoughts

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

> 6:40:00 pm.

290608sunday
had sandcastle making at east coast park with church youths. it was fun. and also my first time building. i got burnt. slightly only. benita and i wanted to cycle after that. but decided not. since we paid two bucks for the bus ride. so we took the bus back to church.

had lunch with mummy and headed down to jurong east to get my new laptop bag and laptop fan. then went to jurong library to get books. mum did not me. i just needed to pay the fines. THEY ARE REALLY OUTSTANDING.

came home and tried doing PD. half way done but there is still more. cos i was busy watching tv and doing work at the same time. Chronicals Of Narnia was showing! i finally got to watch it. but still havent got to watch Prince Caspian. tsk.

slept early. and i cried till my whole pillow got wet. ):

300608monday
school starts officially. cos last week i had common test. so it was kind of a break. totally emo-ing. couldnt concentrate cos i was thinking deeply about things. bad things. slept during com skill. how smart. and i went home alone. being alone, listening to music, just makes me want to cry more.

went for training. while training, cried. but i hide away not letting the others know. but till the end, i couldnt take it anymore. i just let it all out. so i had to stop swimming. the others was asking if i was. but i lied. i wasnt. connie knows i am not okay. i headed home as quick as possible and came online to tell nette about it. i mean what happen during swimming. we planned to meet to talk things out.

010708today
nette wokke me up and told me we cant meet. so we might be meeting tml

school as usual. boring. did had lunch. i didnt have the appetide at all la! dmd was rather okay. i did my work quite fast. good. then was math. i have learnt it before. so it was quite slack for me. got someone to get food for me. cos i was really hungry already. came home with the rest and decided to take a bus back in case i cry in public. ):

during dmd, nette send me this msg cos i told her i just feel like crying and not in a mood to do anything

"be strong and courageous! for ther is a power far greater on out side! we have the Lord,Our God to help us fight this battles for us!"2Chronicles 32:7-8
there is someone greater to fight your battles for you. you are not alone, dorcas. God loves you so so, much. confide in Him. i love you too.(:

thanks alot nette.

came home and azizi talked to me.

Azizi - Vocal and Beats- www.misunderstoodsoul.blogspot.com said:
yeah i realised you lost your smile totally
i have lost my smile said:
yeah

and indeed i did. i noticed long ago.

i lost my smile. and i want it back. but only you could get my smile back.

i wish waters could drown me
i wish cars could hit me
i wish i could drink till i get drunk
why am i thinking of doing this? ):

God, help me to be strong