Have we "sold out" the way Esau did? ( HEB 12:16) has the lure of wealth , power, prestige, position, sercurity, style, or he approval and praise of others led us to barter away God's riches for a single meal?

Esau sought to change his father's mind and gain the inheritance he had forfeited by the duplicity, but he could not set right the damage he had done. He had to live with his decision. Neither can we tun back the clock and undo the wrong we have done to ourselves and to others.

Although the past is irrevocable, there can be a new day before us, filled with new chances, new opportunities, and new expectations. God will not redo the past, but when we repent He can and will forgive us and set us on a new path.

The Lord can give us opportunities to show how we have truely repented of the decisions of the past and how much we long to serve Him in the decisions to come. He will never mention the deeds by which we've shamed other and ourselves; the are forgiven and forgotten forever.

God will give us a place to begin - to love, to serve. to touch others profoundly and eternally for His sake. This demostrated the greatness of our heavenly Father's forgiving love to us.

Dear Lord, be merciful to me;
My sin has grieved Youre heart;
And grant to me Your strength anew
To make a fresh, new start.

GOD'S FORGIVENESS IS THE DOOR TO A NEW BEGINNING.

Passage: HEB 12: 12-17

green: words that speak to me
white: taken for QT material(for the top)

this passage really spoke to me. telling me not to be greedy and at the same time telling me that just repent to God and He will forgive. and God has already set a path, a right path for me and for others. with so many different challengers to go through. you and i do not know what will the path be like. easy or difficult? God set it for us and all we have to do is to ASK! whatever wrong doings we have done, just ask for forgiveness. and God would be willing to forgive us.

I AM SURE HE WILL! right God? (:

sorry ppl havent been udating for quite some time. have been real busy with school work this whole week. yeah. really tiring. but my class has been really keeping me really high. with INTERESTING PPL. what they always say. hahas. we are like just one bunch of monkeys. really fun though.

from school to cca to school work. its been really tiring but it seems God gave me some bunch of interesting ppl to be with. God gave me strength to go through this whole week smoothly. esp through swimming. and school.

210408monday
normal school day. with tutorials and lectures. lectures could really make me sleep. worse was that i always take the back sit. hardly listen. OOPP is just so boring. I HATE THE LECTURER. shitty! it make me like hate the subject. sigh. i shall bear with it. i got my first hmwk of the day and week. which is PSNDEV( personal development) due on sunday 2359. the teacher just so cute giving that kind of date line. lol. communication skills was rather exciting. hahas. the tutor really haas loads of jokes to say. she is really cute. hahas. rushed home after class.

had training. i mean swimming training. arms started aching after the twos hours or less training. died halfway. cos it was really really tiring. the coach said usual training is 2k. but that was the minimum. that means there is more to it. i was like going to faint. even the seniors also said that. and we talked about all the trainings and stuff. den i headed home cos it was getting late.

that day was really tiring. i tried sleeping wherever i went but i just cant. lol.

220408tuesday
went to school slightly later. as usual lectures and tutorials. there was DMD. super fun okay. using macromedia dx. making movies and stuff. sadly i dont have the programm. if not i would be like playing now. hahas. had maths lecture for two hours. i just love love maths. i really could survive 2 hours of maths. cos secondary school i have been trained to sit for maths lessons for 2 hours. with of course breaks. with mr ganesan. any maths problem is possible. hahas. nothing really happened that day. it was really kinda short day. thought we end at 4. walked round the school to get our admin card and order photoshop cs3. went back really late. hahas.

230408wednesday
really short day. DMD e-learning. got full marks for quiz. cos muru helped me! THANK YOU MURU! hahas he is my lab partner. mostly sat with him for lab. cos i keep asking him question den zhiping will ask me. its like a chain. lol. had DF and OPP. super boring can. OPP is crazy. i was so eager to go home i forgot what time class end. lol.

rushed out of class to meet wenxi and hwee eng at SP. was kinda late. cos i really didnt know how long i would take to go dover from yio chu kang. its super far can! hahas. but its worth it meeting my darlings. headed to holland to get birthday cake and had lunch there. met bel at BK. collected the cake. me and bel went to get a balloon for sop to give nette. lol. MY MONEY! lol. now they owe me money. hahas. headed back to SP and met up with sop. headed into SP to surprise nette with the cake, balloon. and of course us! HAHAS. she is touched. YAY! hahas. ate the cake. really yummy. is ice cream cake by the way. headed to everyway they rest went. hahs. den i wanted to leave to meet boyfriend. so they brought me out to take bus while the rest went back to fairfield. hahas. yep. i met up with boyfriend. missed many many bus. hahas. soon i had to go home so he can go home and study maths. came home and did CS hmwk. i have to remind AZIZI that he has to do hmwk. WTH! hahas. i will i will.

240208thursday
normal school. but long long day! sian can! lectures and tutorials make me getting bored every single lesson. went out for lunch too. lab was fun with those ppl. here and there" help me! " "do what?" "i dont know leh" its always this few sentences. hahas. and non stop. hahas. ended really late like 6 plus. didnt go for training. didnt tell sofi. goodness. nvm. wasnt feeling to good to go training. so i decided to head home. trained home with cheekit and zhiping. saw that same old guy with that super glue head. i started laughing non stop. when i reached my stop. i quickly rushed out co si scared he bash me up. hahas.

bused home with zhiping back home. she stopped the same as me. walked back the same route as me. and only that day i found out that she stay like a few blocks away from me. lol. like beside MACS. lol. i know its really weird to know only that day. ahahahas. at least i had someone to go home with thats all.

250408today
school. fun day of course. hahas. math tutorial was alrighty. den was DMD. continue my lab work . den there was disaster. POWER TRIP. my work was gone. i didnt save! lol. played around with all the laptop was on. martin said i was wierd cos i keepplaying with his den to tianfu. and tried playing with zhiping one. but power was back. but i still cant find my work in that stupid computer. so irritating. den was break. didnt really eat alot. wasnt that hungry. hahas. den went to macs. cos the rest wanted to get fries. was late for class. cos they walk so slow. so me and zhiping left without them. so they were later den us. saw nettez. she was laughing at both me and zhiping cos we cant find the class. and we didnt know we could go from the other door. lol. COS was really fun man! hahas. all of us kept laughing non stop. hahas. while doing worksheet. those around me was asking everyone " go where find the answer??" " internet la!!" those questions keep coming out when they already on internet. actually is just AZIZI. he just kept asking " go where find go where find" all i could say was internet. in the end i had to help him do. den joethy was at the side there copyiing. hahas. muru was copying answer from me. he didnt want to follow boss anymore so he follow me for i dontknow why. hahas. cos i got the answer. lol. but today was really fun la. joethy was asking alot of wierd question about me and boyfriend. cos she saw my blog. hahas. okay. i tried answering all . but some i didnt. cos i dont even understand what she asking. lol

went back for gb. practically doing nothing. saw yulian too. hahas. when me and pau reached was like PT already. so i went for like nothing la. hahas. met up with boyfriend again. yulian and wenxi also said again. hahas. they said at the same time also. so cute! hahas.

now i am back here. blogging. and i found my webcam! YAY!

topic: AMERICAN IDOL

i still wonder why is Jason Castro is still in the Top6 after the recent elimination. i think he should be the one being elimanted instead of Kristy Lee Cook. Kristy has been improving every week but not Jason. oh goodness. hear him sing can make me fall asleep. like what Simon said before: "its like you(Jason) singing to sleep in your bedroom." that i so angree with Simon. i rather have him eliminated than Kristy. Kristy s just far too much better than Jason.

SORRY no offence. though Jason is handsome (i agree with that) but he just cant sing!

but really want to CONGRATULATE KRISTY. she is getting married! goodness. that could really make her happy thought she was out of AMERICAN IDOL. but she can continue singing as her career.

IN TOP 6

David Cook
David Archuleta
Jason Castro
Brook White
Syesha
Carly

this guys had did really a good job getting into TOP6. its really good.
Jason Castro; please let this be your last time and END OF JOURNEY.

ps:no offense to those who love Jason for his looks and not the vocals.

the rest of them has good vocals but depends on the song choice. if they chose the wrong song. their journey ends soon. SO GOOD LUCK GUYS. keep practicing!

today went for POLY GARAGE SALE in the late evening. brother was there to help cos he was part of SYFC. brother brought as round the area. didnt know what to get. so walk round again. saw that grey cardigan. but as we walk to get something else. it was sold to someone else. how stupid not to take it! lol. brother and mum bought spectacle frame. while i bought laptop skin which is so much cheaper outside. and is designed by one of the shop owner! how good is that!MY CARDIGAN IS GONE! sigh! maybe i shall go to bugis and get one. ha! isnt it better. but that one seems nicer! arh! whatever. its gone!

went for dinner after picking up brother. had a good meal. came home after that. didnt know where to go. so came home. and again using the laptop. hahas. talked to Azizi again on msn. he is super sian la. nothing to do but to talk to me. lol. but he is really nice to talk to. funny person!

SWEEETS!!! COME ONLINE!!! I WANT TO SEND YOU SOMETHING!!!! (x

and I LOVE YOU SWEETS!


{/edit}
CCC (Campus Crusade for Christ) called if i would be attending the freshman tea party. i not sure if i should go. i not sure if i have photography club on wednesday. and tes party is on wednesday too! I CANT DECIDE!

170408yesterday
GOODNESS! longest day ever okay! IT SUCKS! 9am to 6pm. 6 hours lecture and tutorial. AND ONLY 2HOURS OF BREAK! i repeat 2HOURS only. learn quite lots of things during the day. esp tutorials. learn java and data stuff. reall cool! the thing is i get really stressed up when using the school computers. sometimes really hard to catch what the lecturer says. and den the whole will like go "do what ah?" "like that den how?" real funny when the whole does that. maths lecture was really fun learning all the binary stuff. but its only 50 mins. learning computer stuff was actually not my cup of tea. but too bad. my course os both multimedia and computer stuff. so i have no choice. but class MIT0801 make all lessons so so interesting! funny ppl i will say. they are really interesting.

AND! went to AMK HUB lunch. the class splitted into two. some went somewhere else to eat and only 8 went to AMK to have lunch. we spend alot of time deciding where to eat. but we got back in school in time for lectures and tutorials. yep! went back real late. trained home with zhiping and cheekit. crowded! super! while walking back saw PAULINE. chatted and pau saw SHEENA! hahas. miss those girls man. though i may see pau during GB. hahas. i still miss her. continue chatting. and den we went separate ways. walked home.

180208today
had tutorials the whole day. maths, digital media design and computer system. we ended early. cos we were well behaved during computer system tutorial. i know it seems so much like secondary school. its just that week one was just intro for that module. hahas. maths was as usual fun! hahas. digital was a bit stressed up cos i totally forgot how to do it after learning it in sec2. hahas. but all i need was to follow instructions on the list. lol. okay.

whole class went for cca showcase after school. sign up for swimming and photography club. cant wait for swimming trials. but the thing is no one joined with me! roar! trained back home wih zhiping. went to meet up with sweets. he came all the way to bukit batok to meet me. and shun bian deposit his money. HIS BANK ONLY HAS LIKE $1. i was like HUH?! erm okay. i thought he was kidding! lol. walked back home together. he helped me carry my laptop! HOW SWEET! stayed at void deck a while and played! HAHAS. really funny. sweets just like tickling me and biting my ear off. and licking lollipops. hahas. den it was time to go home. cos i have to rush home to get ready to go changi to get PAPA! he is back already. PAPA bought alots of sweets and bought things for me! THANK YOU PAPA!

talked to Azizi!

Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
anyway
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
linked
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
(:
WE BOTH WORE BLACK! thats cool! says:
i havent linked you yet!
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
i can see that
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
hmph!
WE BOTH WORE BLACK! thats cool! says:
sorry la!
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
nah
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
kidding la
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
(:

I LOVE DMIT0801!!!!

today was just a short day in school. pretty slack. COS ITS ONLY 2 HOURS OF SCHOOL! shortest day in the week. lessons were pretty not bad. DMD elearning and DF lecture. sry i didnt really listen in DF lecture. if i have the notes with me, maybe i will listen a little. so far lectures were pretty okay. i still could remember yesterday's COS lecture. no one was listening! some were busy using notebooks. i was one of them. trying to connect to NYP wireless network. its super irritating anyway. only connected successfully while having lunch break in the canteen. that was yesterday.

went to Block R to get books which i needed for the course. 7 BOOKS ALTOGETHER. i repeat 7 BOOKS! its killer okay. and worse thing was it was already about noon when i started walking back home from Bukit Batok MRT. and i had to carry all the books back myself. KILLER BOOKS! hahas. i tried to walk as slow as possible so i wont perspire. but the sun was scorching hot! my sweat glands cant resist but drool their saliva all over me.(simple saying: perspire) (x came back and used the laptop again. it seems i got hooked! hahas. its really cool can!

i am still thinking if i should bring to school tml. cos i have an hour break! thats so little!
THURSDAY IS GOING TO BE THE WORSE DAY OF THE WEEK!
>from 9am to 6pm.

how was is that?! VERY VERY VERY BAD!

yulian's right. i should better move on.

must learn to be strong k.. though we may not be
together in the same sch..
but still we are together in heart trusting in the same
god!! and im so glad about it!!=D

thanks yulian for that encouragement. it really helps.
and thanks for those who has been by my side, telling me not to be worried about school
thanks sweets for being there spending every single second we had and thanks for LJS.

today was first day of school. i thought it would be horrible. but it turn out kinda well. first period all of us were separated. but it was quite interesting for first period. i got lost finding my way to Block N. but i had Zhiping to save me. ha. we had lecture. den was another period den was off we go home. we didnt had self study! YAY. we headed to koufu to had lunch. me and zhiping. headed to library to get my product key for laptop. den we both headed home. we stay near each other. so it was good.

came back and do my laptop. lucky i found chris to help me. he made me do new password. but i do not need to. but he still help me think of password like "dorcasisacutepiggy". that was nice. soon another new name. its cute. hahas. started playing wih new toy. its really cool! and its fun.

DADDY BE HOME SOON! I MISS YOU ALREADY! i bet mummy feels lonely! i shall sleep with mummy. heh. SORRY PAP!

i really wish i had one really close friend to be with me. in the same poly. in the same course. in the same class.
sometimes i feeel so out of place in class. it really dont have anyone to talk to about sadness. dont have anyone to push me how God is so amazing doing kind of stuff.
sop nette and yulian has been teaching me alot.
and now everything just stops right there.
no one to teach me anything anymore.
i have to go through it myself.
teaching by myself cos there isnt anyone to rely on anymore.

I JUST DONT FEEL THE SAME ANYMORE!

it seems that he wouldnt bother about me. maybe anymore.

i really dont know whats wrong. is it me?
i dont know what did i do
at least tell me what i did
you are just going to keep that golden mouth of yours shut
you and i know it wouldnt help
SO AT LEAST TELL WHATS WRONG?
wth.

sry. i am going all crude again.
maybe i am in a bad mood i will

040408friday
yesterday was back to school for GB. pau made me go. she called and asked me to. i was supposed to go back to NYP to collect my laptop. but it seems the person didnt call. so i went to school instead of waiting for the person to call. was supervising the Sec2s for drill with joy molina. but valentis had hard time dealing the sec1s. so she asked me to help. so okay. HORRENDOUS! they look so GOOONG can!! paul also made me sign up for the countdown to fairfeild's birthday. so okay. just go lor. i thought i would be going alone. but the ex EXCO members seems to be going back! cool. GB ending early. had a small meeting with Ms Ong. den went to meet en en at GB room to accompany her to wait for tim. he took years! when i was just about to go back. saw wenxi and talk talk. yep. AND SHE IS GOING FOR THE COUNTDOWN. finally i have someone to go with me. talked for quite some time. dragon boaters came back. i kinda envy those ppl. i really want to go dragon boating with them. with wenxi and nette. but sigh. nvm. went back home after that. douglas is so kind to take macs from both wenxi and me. it was mr ow's! anyway he still remembers me! ha! my shoe died when i came home. IT TIME TO GET NEW ONES! came home real moody. started crying because of everything! leslie kor and boyfriend.

050408saturday
woke up early to go back school for countdown. really fun! got quite sick. having stomach ache almost every minute. sigh. it was horrible. made a gigantic human fairfield badge. really cool! they made us dance. hahas. it was cute. went to primary school. wanted to play uno. but in the both wenxi and i decided not to. talked about loads of things with wen soplu and chris. thinking about old school days. really very memorable. saw many primary school teachers we knew. MRS THAM!! I MISS HER! her son is super cute can! went to get food and headed back to secondary school. wen started laughing at us. cos we had food. ITS FREE. continue talking. and wen said we shall go for an aussie tour after Year3! stayed back for quite some time. took loads of pics with wenxi. we didnt wierd stuff that we never did before last four years in fairfield
WEN, I CANT WAIT! hahas. (:
met up with boyfriend. my ice cream got super frozen though its hot. i guess you wont understand. if you do, WOW! he went back with me. though i didnt ask. its good. got real tired and i slept. ireally cant continue this part. I HATE IT!

pictures will be up as soon wenxi send me the pics.

toodles guys.

tml : church, groceriy shopping, picnic at the Botanic Gardens cun SSO musical!
ROCKING COOL!

ITS 199 DAYS TO LESLIE KOR'S DEATH ANNIVERSARY.
cos of fairfield countdown thing reminds me of his tragic death

God,support me. i really cant stand anymore

it seems like i am nothing anymore ):

默默的哭

sometimes i really dont know how to feel
its either envy or jealous
its really hard to figure out how i really feel at that point of time
all i just wanted to get closer
but it seems its others but they are not
i really dont know
guys, if you really dont understand what i am talking
dont question, cos i really dont know how to explain
and i dont really want to talk about it
its only me that understands what i am talking
cos its me. like duh?

as i listen, little things from that very scene flows back to the little mind of mine
the song so sweet. the scene just so much like what had happened to you

LESLIE KOR! i really miss you.
and also,
HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY! before i forget.
thank you for being me that great friend
who always cheers me up since i knew you when i was in primary school
and you are like my big brother to me
cos our age was totally far apart

its been a week since i last blogged. sorry peeps. i shall update soon. may be now! (:

260308wednesday

went over to nette's place. but was late. cos i had an appointment in the morning. i was suppose to watch STEP UP but in the end nette was watching 惡作. thats cos i have to rush over to school to pass en en some recipe she needed for her F&N coursework. so nette went back to school to collect her O LEVEL cert. stayed back in school for quite some time. till about 3 plus reaching 4.

I SO SO SO MISS FAIRFIELD NOWADAYS. i wish i could be a student in fairfield again.














WAIT THE CUP!!!


THE FOOD SEEMS TO TASTE REAL GOOD!
though is just 1 fried tofu and 2 nuggets



read this funny story!

funny story.

see, the uncle had always let me out of the school after hours before, but
not this time. so we had to walk by the front gate. and guess who did we meet
but MISS WONG! hahaha. i really missed her, and i told her so. here's how the
conversation went.
"MISS WONG!"
"Annette. How nice to see you. And you're back here at school
because....?"
"To get my O Level Cert- (looks down at empty hands) AHHHH! It's still in
the T-Zone!"
(turns and run with dorcas to t-zone)

ahhahaha. stupidest thing EVER. dorcas and i were laughing about it all the
way home.

Moral of the story?
Everything happens for a reason.

270308thursday BINTAN TRIP!
packed for bintan in the morning. i was so excited i had nothing to do but run round the house asking what time are we leaving. soon we left the house at about 11 plus. so we should reach the ferry terminal by 12 plus. wanted to take a nap in the taxi. but when it was the wrong timing. we reached. mummy went to get our boarding pass. and w headed straight into the waiting area. brother got so hungry that he bought sandwish. and dad bought me my favourite drink. PINK GUAVA. the one at JUMBO. its nice. AND HEALTHY. when its was time to board the ferry. we rushed to the front. typical singaporeans. we always want the good seats right. scan the pass and gave it to some guy. and soon we are all on the ferry! it was super rocky. cos its was monsoon season. water is really very choppy! daddy couldnt make it. hahas. we bought food again. but its super oily. brother and i was complaining. hahas.

when we reached, we still had to pass through the immigration. so troublesome. but it was quick. boarded the bus to NIRWANA RESORT. the place really nice and good. as we got of the bus. there was some little performance. it was to welcome us. isnt it nice? we also had cocktail. we headed straight to the counter to get our keys to our room. WE GOT CONNECTING ROOM! YAY! brother and i changed into our swim wear and headed to the pool and beach. pool was kinda boring so i suggested why not we go the the beach to tan. ha. saw crabs!! den i decided to go back to the room. cos its like getting late. any way both of us didnt know the timing. no watch! hahas. brother went to gym while i went to take a shower. mummy too. den both of us watched tv to wait for the guys to be back.

something really cute happen when we were walking back to our rooms. i smiled to the cute little boy. and he smiled back. but the thing was he was smiling and walking. and he nearly fell! cos he walked all the way to the steps which leads to the shower. luckily he stopped and look. if not that boy really would fall.

we went to PASAR OLEH OLEH to have dinner. HELO HELO RESTAURANT. hahas. cute name hur. had seafood. real good! brother and i went over to one shop to look at bands. i bought 7! 6 for the dwarfs and one for me. brother bought too. but his snapped when we were on theway back to the resort. sigh. mummy rushed for her body spa. and she came back looking like she was being robbed. her hair was so messy! hahas.


280308friday BINTAN TRIP!
woke up early and went for breakfast. breakfast was good! mummy said we shall go for a 6 hour trip round Bitan for 100 bucks. but in the end we didnt go. cos we didnt have enough cash. sigh. in the end brother and i headed for the pool. while daddy and mummy booked a buggy for an hour to travel around the small area.i started to get real bored so we went back to the room. and eat KIMCHI NOODLES. hahas. den we headed down to ride the buggy. but in the end we had to wait one hour. cos there isnt enough buggy. we went to see parrots and snakes. i saw a big vulture, two eagles and an owl. we saw aligators too! we took our buggy and daddy drove to kelong restaurant to check out the menu. cool place. den we left and continue the ride down to the entrance and back. we check out the beach club. and mummy said its so mush nicer den the beach just outside of the pool. and she said we quickly go back and come here. and so we did. we rushed and bring all the things we needed. and went to the beach. water feels so so so warm. we stayed till about in the evening and went back to shower. co swe were all burnt and decided not to stay any longer. went back and took a shower while daddy went to gym. i fell asleep on mummy's bed.

went to THE COFFEE SHOP to have dinner. just downstairs our rooms. i had fish and chips. so did brother. I LIKE THE FISH AND CHIPS! its really tasty. they are super generous with the tartar sauce la! singapore one is so selfish! hahas. ate till we got real full. and soon went back to our rooms. to watch more tv! i watched korean show. but dont understand a thing.


290308saturday BINTAN TRIP!
woke up early again to go for breakfast. same old food! YUCK! but we just ate whatever its there. brother wanted to trick me.
brother: DORCAS. try. very nice.
me: whats inside?
brother: watermelon and (something. i forgot)
me: den whats the orange thing?
daddy: PAPAYA LA!
me: eee. den i dont want le.
brother: DADDY! why you say?
all of started laughing so loudly like we owned the whole place. den suddenly daddy said something.
daddy: NO NO NO. its not papaya. dorcas eat!

after breakfast. we quickly packed our stuff. and hire a taxi to bring us to PASAR OLEH OLEH again to do some shopping. i didnt buy anything there. not nice. so mum ask if we could go to FACTRY OUTLET. and we did. we all bought nice clothes! and soon we all headed back. cos i was a little uncomfortable. soon we all headed back home to singapore!

i try to upload the pictures soon.


300308sunday
went to temple! I HATE IT! den church! YAY!


310308monday
went out with belyeo. she reall could shop man! she bought alot of things. while me! i bought two long sleeve shirt. and thats all. hahas. i saw cheryl god wth shawn. they look like they are together. but i dont know. dont bother much. hahas. soon we headed back home. we went into an ID machine to take photo. but using a camera! hahas.

i will get the photos soon when bel uploads it!


010408TODAY
ITS ONE YEAR SWEETS! since we last got back together.