my lifestory

2008-10-14T18:03:00.003+08:00

LETS JUST SAY GOODBYE TO DORCASSIN.BS.COM

MOVED

2008-10-09T22:22:00.004+08:00

"When he looks at her fall asleep, he soon fell for her ."

past few days i have been home watching shows on DBSK/TVXQ.
Korean BoyBand - Tohoshinki (:

there! two pictures of DBSK.

*i still prefer ChangMin to have shorter hair (x

its been bored past few days. ):

school is starting next week!

AND I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

somehow, i dont really like school.

i rather head back to FMSS.

re-do my O's all over again.

which i find it very fun while others dont.

yes, again. i pon training when IVP is this saturday.

somehow, i find myself not devoted to swimming at all.

i just feel so lazy to do things. all i want was to stay home.

which i know it is bad. very very bad.

and i am getting all fatty again!

I NEED TO GO ON DIET! seriously!

&looking through my FMSS'07 diary, brings back tons of memories.

somehow, i miss everything and everyone in FMSS. ):

2008-10-06T22:56:00.004+08:00

DORCAS HAD BEEN CONFIRMED YESTERDAY!

{i suppose you can click on the picture to have a look at it}

so now i am part of the whole Fairfield family already!

except for pre-school. if only my family didnt move house, i would be in Fairfield kindergarten.

my brother was there. and i went to another one nearer to where i am staying now.

brother got confirmed too. AMAZING! (:

he is also part of the whole Fairfield family, except for secondary.

if he does better, head to FMSS. HE WILL BE COMPLETE! lol.

CHINA MAN AGAIN! but a different one. I WANT THE OTHER ONE! ):

------

training! ):

shouldnt have went today. that cos, i was the only one.

SB didnt come! and i didnt know. so i was ALONE!

swimming with one big group of guys who look like retards in the water, with balls!

i mean water polo balls. dont get the wrong idea. i aint that dirty! (x

guy with tatooed bar code, dont act cool! COS YOU ARE NOT! rahahahaha!

i was just being a meanie, thats all. but you look handsome.

but sry, D looks much cuter and handsome than you? (x

2008-10-05T22:55:00.003+08:00

no one seems to be listening.

fly me to somewhere i will love and be peaceful, please.
i want to. i really really want to. i dont seem to love it here.

MIGRATE!!! ):
can we?

完美并不美我们多虚伪
你让我的好变成一种罪
完美并不美当你爱了谁
我的完美也只是不完美

2008-10-04T23:16:00.004+08:00

"Was it just a dream?"

a few things was on my mind past few days.

1.how the road could be so rough.
i finally knew how rough the road could be when God didnt carry me.
i realise this on my way to a place where its flat so i could blade again. {scared of slopes!}
i was walking barefooted and i was thinking real deep. {thats cos, the rest bladed ahead.}
the past few years, i have been walking that kind of road. so rough, so painful.
it was never ever smooth once. maybe a few times.
but come to think about it, when was the last time i walked on a smooth road?
i couldnt even remember. mostly they were rough and painful roads.
through rough times, i didnt even ask God to carry me. thats why it was painful.
now, to think about all these, makes me realise that i neglected Him alot, ALOT. ):

2. life on wheels.
blading that day was getting me all nervous when it comes to the slopes.
falling down on my butt was one dangerous thing that could happen to me.
i am different, my life is different too. my tailbone is sticking out. {SCARY HUR?}
my life was almost in danger everyday, everywhere, every minute and second.
once i am not carefull, fall on that fragile bone, there goes my life. RUINED!
paralyzed waist down. my whole life will be on wheels. FOREVER!
now, i could used that word. thats cos it will be permenant.
though i would be afraid to face the future ahead, if life is meant to be, i cant deny it.
like what i said, "What lies ahead, it happens for some reason."

3. YOU
every morning, i find myself thinking of you all over again. WHY HAR?!
sometimes i dont, sometimes i do. but this, i just cant help it!
every morning, i just had to find a way to move on. but?! ):

now we hardly even talk! ):
you said you wanted to talk to me, but you dont talk to me at all.
maybe nothing to talk about? i have to keep think of all the maybe's just to not think about it.
thats the thing i do every morning, thinking of all the maybe's.

Alright then. Sigh. Dun let this affect your writing k? It just hurts to read some things on your blog. Its as if i am the bad guy. Which i probably am? Sigh.

-sms you sent

after reading this msg, it really hit me real hard. HARD!!!
i didnt realise, i have been writing things that will hurt you.
but can you at least tell me which post? so i will know, what i actually wrote.
but i didnt to it intentionally. i think i was a little ticked off and i start writing all those.

maybe its time to change my way of writing and putting myself into other people's position.
i just dont wish to hurt you even further. SO SORRY. ):

but again, no lying. iLy. still.
-----

i got burned by the cigarette lighter from the car.
not serious but painful! ):
THANKS TO MY SMARTY BROTHER! lol.
it was painful when i felt the heat!
brother doesnt even know that. and he continue playing with it.
i could see the bubbles! eeek!

2008-10-04T15:57:00.007+08:00

watched another movie again.
it seems like i have been watching movies every single day.
its been boring, so i will just watch movies and more movies.

Secret

The story was about high school student Ye, who studied in the school his father taught. Ye’s piano skill was above others. On the first day of school, while walking around the piano rooms, he heard an unknown and beautiful melody, played by Lu. From then on, the two were always together.

However, Lu seemed mysterious and when Ye tried to get to know her more, she always brushed off his questions by saying that it was a secret.

There was a misunderstanding between the two of them, and subsequently Lu never came to school anymore. Ye was heartbroken.

But the more he tried to find out, he realized that things were not as they seemed.

i love this part when he plays the piano just like that! AMAZING!

i shall continue later when i get back from home after dinner.

2008-10-03T15:54:00.012+08:00

011008wednesday
managed to watch a movie before heading to AV to have lunch with my parents.
what movie was that again? OH YES! Renai Shashin, jap movie.

wenxi, dont watch Renai Shashin! watch Tada Kimi wo Aishiteru.
i find that Renai Shashin not so nice. the other one nicer. (:

WE ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAINand we had dinner there too! except for belly

021008thursday

blading with dwarfs at ECP again.

YES AGAIN! thats cos i went there last week too with only 3 dwarfs

031008TODAY
went library with mum. i dont know why i followed cos i practically did nothing.
didnt want to borrow any books as i am still reading one of my books.
and i am taking a very long to read that! tsk. just didnt feel like reading at all anyway!

came back and watched another movie!

Kimi ni Shika Kikoenai

Shy, quiet, and unsure of herself, Aihara Ryo (Narumi Riko) doesn't quite fit in anywhere. Though she wants to make friends, she has trouble speaking up and holding a normal conversation like everyone else. It seems that whenever she talks, the words just don't come out correctly.

Gradually, Ryo has gotten used to living life in silence as a lonely and introverted student. With no one to talk to, Ryo also has no need for a cell phone. Longing for friends to talk to, she creates a cell phone in her mind for imaginary phone conversations, and much to her surprise, one day Shinya (Koide Keisuke) picks up on the other side.

For the first time in her life, Ryo has found someone she can talk to.

2008-10-02T23:15:00.001+08:00

DORCAS SIN IS TIRED TO BLOG! ):

AND SHE FELL ON HER BUTT!
and its hurting badly, cos there is a scratch there! ):

2008-10-01T23:23:00.009+08:00

i wish i could fly to my faraway land!i actually wish i could migrate.
a place where i could start a new life all over again.
find new love all over and forgetting the past.
maybe not forgetting, just move on.
but i guess there wont be a chance.

as i close my eyes, i just let the words sink in.
not knowing the meaning, but i suppose my heart will someday understand it.

i pray tomorrow will be a better day.

PS : though i dont know you and you dont know me, rest in peace Mernel.

2008-09-30T22:09:00.008+08:00

"What could the reason be?"

stayed home the whole day. its really boring just to stay home all day long.
spend my day doing the blogskin and watched a movie, jap movie.

Tada Kimi wo Aishiteru
"She used to lie very often."

Due to his inferiority complex, Makoto shies away from other people, but Shizuru manages to make him open up to her. Because of their friendship, Shizuru takes interest in photography and they often go to a forest, partially hidden from the public, to take photos.

Shizuru wants nothing but to be at Makoto's side. When Makoto starts liking a college friend Miyuki, Shizuru decides that she too will like Miyuki and becomes her friend.

One day, Makoto asks Shizuru what birthday present she would like. With her interest in a photography contest, Shizuru wants a photo of them kissing in the hidden forest.

Since that day of the forest kiss Shizuru disappears from Makoto's life.

a beautiful love story. its worth watching though. YAY! i watched it!
and i so going to watch Renai Shashin{jap movie}

Renai Shashin
A brief but true love develops between Makoto and the girl of his dreams, Shizuru.

Makoto becomes jealous of Shizuru's photographic skill, which far outmatches his. He decides to leave Shizuru, and promises to return to her when he has fulfilled his dreams.

Three years later, he has still not furthered his career. He receives a letter from Shizuru from New York one day, and decides to return and find her.

Upon his arrival, he learns of a shocking and impossible revelation.

{Tada Kimi wo Aishiteru is about the same as this movie, but i suppose storyline is different? why not check it out yourselves (: }

2008-09-30T10:41:00.006+08:00

NETTE'S TAG TO ME:

sought in God in the toughest times. i'm not being a very good testimony
for this, but i realise that even the good times are meaningless without God smiling down on you. there's this favourite verse of mine that always speaks to me whenever i read it. wait, let me go find it.

psalms 121:1-8
i lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord,the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
He will not let your foot slip- He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm u by day,nor the moon by night.
the Lord will keep u from all harm- he will watch over your life;
the Lord will warch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

hope this will speak to you. i'm still here for you, boyfriend! i love you!:)

reading nette's tag to me, really made me tear. seriously!
she constantly reminds me that God was always there.
its just me, i didnt want to admit. but still, she was there.
she is just one that never stops being there for me.
how sweet can she be? VERY SWEET!

THANK YOU SWEETHEART! I LOVE YOU.

though, i am still not over it, i am trying my best.
but still, i mustnt lie, i still love him. ):

{/edits}
I FREAKING LOVE ICONS! (:

2008-09-29T23:43:00.005+08:00

OMGOSH!

Wu Zun is a Brunei-born Chinese actor, singer, a former model, and gym instructor. He is currently a member of the boy band Fahrenheit, and is widely known as the protagonist in the Taiwanese idol dramas Hanazakarino Kimitachihe (花樣少年少女) and Tokyo Juliet (東方茱麗葉).

Goh Kiat Chun was born October 10, 1980, in Brunei. He studied at the Chung Hwa Middle School in Bandar Seri Begawan. Later, he graduated from RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia, with distinction and a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. Wu Zun was a model for Yi Lin (伊林) in Taiwan and in [Diva Models] in Singapore. He speaks, Taiwanese, English, Malay, Mandarin, and Cantonese. He manages a family-owned gym club, Fitness Zone in Brunei . He comes from a rich family background (Top 10 Richest Families in Brunei); his family is the Sole Dealer of Mitsubishi Motors in Brunei, operating in the name Goh Hock Kee Motors. Goh Hock Kee was his grandfather. He was a National basketball player for his country. He is also the last and only foreign member to join the boy band, Fahrenheit, before their rise to stardom.

Wu Zun is under the "Best Looking Asian Male" category!

just look at his whole profile.
THIS IS JUST SO AMAZING! CRAZY MAN!

HE IS A RICH KID MAN!!!!

p.s: its just a random post okay!

2008-09-28T23:17:00.006+08:00

It's
Heartbreaking to have to fight this feeling.
Heartbreaking to wish I could talk to you again.
Heartbreaking to wish you'd text or call.
Heartbreaking to wonder if you're happy or sad...
Or okay.
~~Heartbreaking to know that my number is probably gone from your phone.~~
~~Heartbreaking to know that there are people who want me to love them.~~
Heartbreaking to know I can't force my feelings upon anyone.
Heartbreaking to wake up each day to move on.
Heartbreaking to find myself thinking of you when I'm trying hard not to.
Heartbreaking to realize I tell myself I'm over you when I'm not.
Heartbreaking to have to try, regardless of.
Heartwrenching to tell myself I mean nothing in your eyes.

-from someone's blog, not stating who. but if you knew, i am just sharing the same feeling as her, right now.
writer, i hope you dont mind.

but actually, i dont even know if my number is gone from his phone

I SO WANT TO SIT ON THIS AGAIN! SPOT ME! {wearing white socks}

2008-09-28T22:27:00.002+08:00

today's cell was one that really got into me.

"Where Is God When Tragedy Strikes?"
Mark told us to think through what has happen in your life that makes us so in distress.
what makes us ask some questions like "why me?" "why now?" mostly all the why questions.
actually, i didnt know what to say. i have been through so many tough situations. its so hard to make a decision which to say. one happened recently and one happened last year. this two were the ones that still remain fresh in my mine.

when it was my turn to speak, i just quickly decided to say the one that happened last year.
it was actually hard for me to say what happen recently. cos Mark knew something.
there was this urge in me to cry, cos it was something that i really didnt want it to happen.
but i really had to control, cos no one saw me cry at all. maybe one or two.

i wont say it out. cos Mark said its kept within the four walls. some other friends already knew. and i really didnt want to bring it all up again. where all the blaming starts all over again.

when cell ended, i really wanted to grab hold of Mark and tell him everything that i was going through. it seems that now, prayer was the only thing. it seems i needed Mark's prayer. but i just cant get myself to speak. something seems to be holding me back. but in the end, i didnt tell him anything.

Mark told us to take this home with us and always remember:
"God will always be there, through any circumstances, through good times and bad"

Psalm 77: 1-9
I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me;
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.

I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.

My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
"Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favour again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"

i told leti about it. and her weirdest idea was to slap ....!
how could i ever bring myself up to slap ....?
it seems leti is getting all weird.

benita thinks he is lying. who on earth knows he is lying?
not me, not you, only God knows. but i am trying my best not to think to much.

it seems i really needed wenxi to wake me up again. ):
and i guess i have to say bye bye to my red crumpler tote! ):
if only i am putting into a box and sending it away for the time being.
-----

maybe, i should listen and buy a jigsaw to do! sounds fun.
MONEY PLEASE?!

and....
and....
and....

FERNANDO ALONOS WON THE F1 RACE!
Lewis Hamilton, what you doing man!

2008-09-27T11:48:00.003+08:00

that sentence, i will always remember.
you once told me why you wrote it.
and now, you wrote it again.
i dont know whats the meaning now.
but all i could do is nothing.
thats cos i am nothing to you anymore.

2008-09-26T23:22:00.005+08:00

OMGOSH! just look at Geun-seok Jang! HIS SMILE!
HE IS WAY TOO CUTE! man! too cute!
gosh! GIRLS, MESMERIZED?

Bottom: Geun-seok Jang

I AM SO GOING TO WATCH THIS MOVIE AGAIN!
thats because of Geun-seok Jang!

*random post

2008-09-26T13:09:00.002+08:00

it sinks in too fast, uncontrollably.
but when it reaches its ending point, things cant revert back.
its hard to forget, its hard to move on.
if only, i didnt fall in love, everything should be fine.
i wouldnt even be scared to fall back in love.
because of you, i felt so so scared and its the first time i felt it.
i totally lost faith and trust in love, thinking i wouldnt be loved again.

when things change, can things change back to what it is before?
if only i was living in fantasy, maybe magic would help.
but this is reality, FACE IT. thats the only way.
how am i going to face it, when i am already so weak inside?

God, i need strength.

2008-09-25T23:55:00.004+08:00

"Maybe, I was totally in a wrong, in a wrong to fall in love."
Can we actually control our feelings&emotions?

just so confuse. TELL ME, tell me what to do.
there is just two choices to choose from.
but what will be my conclusion be?
finding ways to get the answer.
but why, why is it so difficult?
i need to know the answer soon.

if only i understand those words, i will know what they are singing.
but from the music itself, it tells everything.

random:
looking at J everytime, makes me want to laugh like siao!
J just reminds me of that ring he gave when we were kiddies, before he left for Mexico.
funny eh? now, i am a total stranger to him. he doesnt even remember me? ):

its super embarrassing can! both leti and i were laughing like some mad woman.

boy, you are just way too unforgettable.

2008-09-22T11:55:00.005+08:00

"Will you? Can I? Should We?"

well, came back from overseas on saturday night.
had really a fun time there. GREAT!
having brother with me was much better than not having anyone with me.
we had fun disturbing each other and having fun sleeping in the same room every night!
had such a funny tour guide! i kinda miss him now! LOL!
i so going back next time. I WANNA SHOP MORE.

should have taken a video of him singing "3 Little Bears"{korean song}
DANG! i didnt! he look super cute when he sing it with actions!

i dont want to blog everything out. cos it will take me a long long long time!

tigger went with me too. how nice!
-----

training. i was super late.
training wasnt that bad today. quite slack!
yayness for me! cos i was so tired to swim. ):

walking into school just makes me want to scream shout cry.
what he said, was all lies afterall. since we even started!
not stating everything out. its bad, ITS HURTING ENOUGH TO RECALL THEM!
the pain its like killing me. i am just so scared nowadays when i think of love.
):):):):

where the hell are you?!
all i wanted was give it one more try. ):

can i please be yours again? ):

2008-09-14T17:01:00.002+08:00

leaving soon. i dont really know how i am feeling now.
excited or just had a feeling of not going anymore? both?
i dont know, but i have been waiting for this day for quite long.
i really wanted to runaway from things. or rather ITS A NEED.
it seems i really needed it. but i not sure if it will help just for a week.
i need a month! maybe a year. sigh. i just need it. ):

thinking everything was going to be perfect, but i was wrong.
i was just being too naive. and nothing's going to change it. ITS ME! ):

all this time, i thought it was gone. thinking i have gotten over it.
but why, why do i feel the pain again? all over again. it hurts. ):

boy, i so going to miss you. ):

2008-09-12T21:32:00.010+08:00

"If only I had one wish, I wish time could return to what its like before."

080908monday to 100908wednesday
it was stayover at nette's place. YESH!
first time okay?! i was so happy when mum said i could stayover at her place.
thats cos my parents wont keen of me going for my class chalet(poly).
they were kinda worried though. and i was a little indecisive whether to go or not.
so just trying not to let my parents worried, i decided not to go.
they were aright with me staying over at nette's place. COOL!

i was suppose to stay only for a night. when hwing called to ask if could stayover to play bridge.
stayover just to play bridge. FUNNY!
so i had to ask my mum first right? she was also okay with it.
the good thing is, i brought extra clothes. then i could stayfor another night! YAY!

the both of us slept late for the first night. at 3.30.
i didnt stay up that late before okay!

the second night was worse.
wenxi slept first, then me, then hwing, then nette.
we were all suppose to play bridge the whole night.
but it seems all of us didnt have the mood, except hwing.
so we watched shows, while wenxi was sleeping.
hwing took out so many dvd la. and settled with only one show. "Wang Zi Bian Qing Wa"
so i slept rather late at 5 plus. this is the latest la! HEH.
we all woke up at 1pm and my back aches that 'cos i slept on the floor.

so now, i body clock is in a mess! cant sleep for nuts!

110908thursday
library with mum.
i was just there to be her hand!
carry her groceries! ):

and i went for training in the evening
200m free(reserve)
800m free(reserve)

whoever is swimming 800m free, please turn up and swim.
if not i will die from swimming 16 laps, FOR YOU!

danny: " thank you, dorcas. nice doing business with you."
W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R DANNY! retarded person. LOL.
{finally i know your name!} crush?! - nah! joking!

120908TODAY
out with mum and brother.
head to penninsula plaza to get black white films
then, to TANGS to get our luggage. its orange! AND I SO LOVE IT!
walked to JOHN LITTLE. to look for ziplock bag. NONE!
so we head home! tired!

came home and watched another movie.

The melodramatic storyline is based around a popular 17-year-old high school senior, "Natalie," who thinks she's got life figured out, until she meets and falls for Keith Zetterstrom, a new student, played by Jesse McCartney. Natalie is at first annoyed by her new chemistry class lab partner, but she ultimately falls for him and discovers that Keith is hiding a dark secret, with tragic and sad results. The film will be released following the Jesse Mccartney concert on Saturday September 13th, 2008 at 7:30 PM. Mandalay resort, Las Vegas, NV.

In theaters starting Friday September 19th 2008.

"in theatres on Friday September 19th 2008" I WATCHED IT ALREADY! PEOPLE WATCHED IT. to me, its kinda nice.

"I believe in the God, who gives me strength.
so now, Lord, I will place my faith and trust in you."

if only you could do this, i know you will be able to overcome your fear.
and trust me, you will do just fine for O's. relax!
Through God, anything is possible. if you place your trust in Him.

2008-09-12T17:32:00.004+08:00

COOL NEWS :

1. "Another Cinderella Story" is a sequel to "The Cinderella Story" !!!!!!
but though its a sequel, the storyline seems to be alike. just that, Another Cinderella Story is like dance and music. its really nice. i watched it!

2. Andrew Seely{the man who is the main actor in "Another Cinderella Story"} was the one who sang all the HSM 1&2 songs which is sang by Zac Efron. and the songs Zac Efron sang in Hairspray.

so....
IT WAS NOT ZAC EFRON SINGING AT ALL! IT WAS ANDREW SEELY!

feeling cheated now? actually, i dont. (:

2008-09-07T21:52:00.015+08:00

"If only you didnt start knocking on my door, I wouldnt have fallen so deeply in love with you."
but i already did. too deep that i could hardly get rid of it.

110908thursday
i was home all day till about evening to get my butt out off the house for training.
watched ISWAK2. yes, till the evening.
i totally dragged myself out for training. i kinda dread it now.
maybe i will stop when school reopens. but somehow, i dont want to go back to school! ):
if school doesnt open again, means i have to go for training! AND THATS BAD!

i told my captain and vice captain that i wont be going for swim team cos i will be overseas.
captain told me he is going to hunt me down! SIAO! -__-

I GOT MY HAIR CUT TOO!

the new look DORCAS SIN has!

120908friday
met up with hwee eng and wenxi at orchard to walk

THINGS I GOT SUPER AMAZED ABOUT!
- wenxi wore a skirt!
- hwing wore heels to walk around orchard -__-

hwing is super crazy okay! wearing heels to walk round orchard and worse her heels are super high. i cant even walk with such high heels. i feel so painful.

wenxi and i tried to ask her to get flats so its much more comfortable for her.
SHE REFUSE! stubborn eh!

we three saw CY too. at wheelock.

THAT CRUMPLER CAMERA BAG!!!! i want!

wenxi and i had sorta heart to heart talk when hwing left.
was really nice to talk to her. she telling me about her poly life.
it seem like all of us are having problems with poly life now.
MINE SUCKS! i dont like it at all la. i though i would happy.
but in the end, I AM NOT. ):

wenxi made me go home late. her mooncake queue is so long! and she made me accompany her go taka and walk. and both of us got crazy over wallets. she said she wanted to get me one. for my bday. but it seems like i really dont need it. the one i am using now, is just fine. getting two many wallets aint good at all. i still i like that one. heh.

came home and watched ISWAK2 {continue}
oh man! i cried at the ending la!
ZS and XQ are super sweet! {awwwww}
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
tempted to buy the dvd ISWAK 1&2! SPONSERS, ANYONE?

130908saturday
stayed home. cos daddy had went back to work.
left mum and i at home. brother had went for some YMLC in M'sia on friday.
used the lappy the whole day. checking out behind the scenes of ISWAK2.
super funny. still the both of them are super sweet. they should really be together la.

watched Green Forest My Home on teevee. they repeated it.
that show is kinda nice though. LOVE.

went out for dinner at Pasir Panjang Food Court.
fried hokkien, sweet sour tofu, chicken wings. OH MAN! love!
i planned the menu since afternoon. cos i was super hungry!
i thought we going vivo to get luggage. in the end, its late.
AND RAINING! the big pot drop on the floor lah! caused by the wind! and its super cold can!
i just drank lime juice. not supposed to drink cold drink after meal! FATTY!

DORCAS SIN SAW IVAN AT THE SAME PLACE!
cool hur! he didnt see me! ROAR! but it aint the first time.
the other time was really coincidental. coolie!
this time was didnt expect it.
S'pore is so small. sure bump into some ppl you know.

TODAY
cell sunday. so we had to wear some weird shirt to church.
see everyone wearing the same thing. like going for soccer match with that number 41 in front.

i became someone else's daughter for a few minutes. FUNNY.
lunch with everybody. then head to hospital to see someone that i didnt know.
then to People's Park to ASA tours to get things paid and ask many many question
THE STAFF IS SUPER CUTE! and we got free bags. 4 OF THEM. its ugly!

CAR WASH! i get to see china man! o.O
i mean, that china man is kinda good looking. REALLY.
daddy is regular customer. so he recognises me.
so its best for me to not look at him. but he keeps looking into the car.
can actually feel that he is looking though. SCARY!

dinner at Uncle Gary's restaurant. LOVE
where everything goes JAP!
FOOD AND MORE FOOD. i am going way too fat!

ICE WINE FOR THE NIGHT. sweet!
made in NEW ZEALAND! cool!

i wanted to drink down with one mouth. but mummy didnt allow!

dorcas: can i just gulp it down?
mum: NO! i dont want to carry you home
dorcas: i will try my best to stay sober!
mum: NO!
dorcas: pouts!

and the alcohol percentage was only 9.7%
so i just gulp it down la. heh. NO EFFECT AT ALL!
its much better than sake! that time i drank was 60%!!!
-----

AND I SO LOVE THIS SONG!

David Archuleta - Crush

I hung up the phone tonight,
something happened for the first time, deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility that you would ever
Feel the same way about me
It’s just too much .. just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized, and I just got to know

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away

Has it ever crossed your mind when we were hanging
Spending time girl, are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take
Cause I believe we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized, and I just got to know

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away
-----

boy, you got me out of control

2008-09-03T23:27:00.003+08:00

"Love: comes and go?? If this is the meaning to love, I rather not fall in love."
but somehow, i already did.

PHOTOsession with mummy.
i got to use my new lense. way cooler then the previous one.
i slacked the most. 'cos i really feel lazy to get out of the house.
seriously. i just wanted stay home and watch dramas and more dramas.
Shugo Chara is just way too slow in uploading due the subbers. ):
so now i have to survive with ISWAK2. and i have the urge on wasting my money to buy it.
and its bad. SPONSORS anyone?
DONATE TO THE DORCAS FUND. i will be pleased!

PHOTO class! stoning all the way.
MONOCHROME! blacky and whitey. FUN!
i forgot all the timings to develop the film. bad bad bad.
but it turn out quite well though. {note: mum is the photographer. NOT ME!}
if pictures turn out bad, mum's fault. i aint into film cameras. I AM INTO DIGITAL.

AND I SO NEED A CAMERA BAG FOR MY LOVE!
crumpler BUCKET would be nice! {evil laugh}
-----

weird people dream of weird stuff that will never ever come true.
my dream is way too weird and stupid. AND OF COURSE IT WONT COME TRUE.
had one last night. way too weird to imagine about it.

this was quite some time already.
-marry Micheal Phelps and i can be a rich tai tai!
i could imagine myself being slapped by my mum real hard on the head "DORCAS, STOP DREAMING LA!" can be painful. or rather VERY PAINFUL.

i was just dreaming, and it wont come true!
and moreover, i am not rich enough to fly to US to find MP.
thats is CRAZY!
-----

to NETTE:
my dear girl, why you asking me when am i leaving when its already stated on my little calender? you funny person. and you aint serious about sending me off, are you?

to IVAN:
hey, are you serious about sending me off? i am only away for a week la! and you have school the next day. i will be happy to see you if you could make a trip down even if there is people sending me off too.

to YOU TWO:
i am okay without you two sending me off. i not going away forever. {i wish i could}
SO YOU GUYS DECIDE ON YOUR OWN.
-----

not fated to be part of their craziness. pardon me if i am going all emo.

boy, you are just way too sweet

2008-09-02T19:53:00.001+08:00

"If only I could be a small kid all over again, i wouldnt have known what love really means."

flying away is confirmed! FINALLY!
but some dont know where i am flying to.
my calender has already written when i am flying away.

anyone want to send me off?? {evil laugh}
joking. anyway, i think no one will want to travel all the way to changi just to see me.
sigh, its sad that no one wants to send me off too.
but i am only away for a week.
----

training last night was a KILLER!

IVP is coming. and i dont know what events to swim.
even if i am in any event, sure to be the last one lor.
i am really scared for all kinds of competition. like a phobia now.
'cos, once i know i didnt do well, i will cry. HARD!

its either 200 or 400 free. still the last one anyway. ):
----

walk in job interview with brother.
MARCHE! please please employ us.
WE NEED IT! really really badly.

another restaurant boss said we were a couple!
LAUGH OUT LOUD MAN! do we look like one?
when our surname the same? address also the same?
parents also the same? FUNNY SIA!
----

the crying starts all over again.
just give me a drink and i will drink till i get drunk

boy, you are one of a kind

2008-09-01T11:49:00.004+08:00

"I promise, I wont break your heart."

Well, look at the phrase above. Do you think all guys just plainly say that for the fun of it? Do all of them mean what they say? As much as i want to trust them, they are just words, until you prove it to me.

Joy Molina's blog.

somehow, when they promise, they will break it, one day.
sometimes, they promise for the wrong things. and in the end, they have to break it.
and there goes, they break your heart.

no matter how hard i try to get the relationship, i know, its of no point.
though, i lost trust, hope and faith in love,but just let me try once more.
i will just do whatever i can. please?

i trust you so much, thats 'cos i love you.
you said you will bring me to whatever food i wanted and food that i never ate before.
but i guess now, i wont have a chance anymore.

that would be the first and last time i spend valentines day with you.
that would be the first and last time i spend birthdays together with you.
and there wont be the first time that i will spend christmas and new year with you.
thats how sad when everything ends and when i didnt spend enough time with you.

sometimes, i actually regret not dropping to NA or retaking my O's.

boy, i miss you so.

2008-08-30T21:28:00.002+08:00

i heard that J is back from Mexico. for real this time. but for NS.
why am i bothering about J now, when he doesnt even know me?
or rather he forgot about me. -___-
-----

i am tired already. been crying for 3 days straight.
i dont know why the feeling of crying just comes back so suddenly.
and i feel like crying more, seriously.
its getting from bad to worse, really. sigh.

i dont know what you told spencer that day(Founder's Day dinner) or what spencer told you.
i want to know, but i know you wont tell me. thats cos, you wouldnt even talk to me.
even if i sms you, you wouldnt reply. as though my smses are free.
i just find that its either you or him telling me lies. i dont know.

NAVI, i need you back.
my days are just so grey without you.
i just cant be myself everyday.
its all a pretend, besides being with the dwarfs.
you just completes me.
you just meet all my wants and my needs.

i know saying all these are of no point.
but if you say that, why did you even knock on my door? ):

and if you have all my photos(hundreds of them), did you even look at them?
or you just let them rot? if you let them rot, why not just dump them into the bin?
like what you said, there isnt a point anymore.

now, you know how my life is. happy now?
no more irritating brat in your life. bet is better than no one else's life.
reading my blog just tells you everything that is going on in my life.
and i know you care, but why i cant i know yours too?

maybe,
it's because we were too long together and didn't do enough to keep it there, that's why it faded away
or,
maybe he's just too busy and afraid of dragging me down.
nette says that.
but i really dont know. only he knows

please, i didnt felt so helpless and lonely. its painful too.

somehow, i just wish i could run away from things. but still i have to face it.
sometimes, i want to run away from home to have time alone, but still i have to head home.

seriously, i just need to it.

boy, i love you still.

2008-08-29T21:51:00.003+08:00

told you! holidays are just going to get boring and MORE BORING!
reminder > its a long holiday! TILL 12 OCT.
can you believe it? sigh ):

at least is good!
i could catch with my beauty sleep, and dramas, catch up with dwarfs.
how i wish i could see him during his hols?! ROAR! ): ): ): sigh
I DONT HAVE TO GO SCHOOL! cos i hate school so much to the extend that i really want to drop out of school! SCHOOL SUCKS SCHOOL SUCKS SCHOOL SUCKS! ): ): ):

brother left for some wierd camp.
peace and quiet. FINALLY!
puh-lease, i wanted him out of the house like long ago.
stupid pest. he just making me go crazy at home.
just find him super irritating la!
he instills me with names like, useless, stupid etc etc.
yeah la, BIG BROTHER. i am useless and stupid can?
worse, he calls me in public! SADDENING. i wanted to cry lah!
sigh, is he even my brother?!

he is so much like mum.
who discourages me at things.
cant really take it though.
but I CANT DO ANYTHING!
----

TEACHERS DAY IN FMSS TODAY!
wanted to enter the hall, but was a little to scary with eyes staring at you.
thousands of them! scary. went in only during the ending part. is like "whats the point?"

went to nette's place after visiting the teachers. correction TEACHER without an"S" thats cos we only see mr ganesan. OUR BELOVED!

i just went there to eat and sleep and watch a little of teevee and movie.
i was just way to tired.
-----

talked to ninja tutle online.
he asked me if i am going for chalet. ANOTHER PERSON!
please, people. just stop asking me this question!
I DONT KNOW WHETHER I AM GOING!
FINALLE! just very indecisive okay?
if i dont go, i wont ask back for the money.
just take it that i sponsor you guys okay?
-----

last night, i cried, cried real hard ): its seems like a long time since i last cried.
been thinking alot, with no conclusion! ): thats bad.
nah, just thinking of all the memories.
how sweet, how lovely. that leads to no conclusion to anything.
just hugged tigger so tightly. and i wish i could hug you just as tight too.

somehow, its seems like you are avoiding me.
or is it me who is not understanding enough? ):
-----

i just cant wait to fly off. i just need to get away, or rather, I WANT TO RUN AWAY.
but just why cant we fly off earlier? longer break. I NEED IT.

i rather fly away and stay there forever.
whats the point of staying here when nothing is left here for me to look forward to?
even if there is(navi), whats the point?

nobody knows where i will be flying to.
nobody will bother about where i am going to fly to.
if those who know, please dont say anything out.
i dont want anybody to say that i am a rich kid.
cos i am not!

NO ONE WILL EVER BOTHER! ):

i need beer, i need to drink, i need to get drunk.
{aint the first time drinking beer anyway}
or sake will be better.

boy, all i need is YOU!

2008-08-26T18:45:00.002+08:00

been out today. with mum. with that teacher, i mean photography teacher.
actually wasnt in a mood to go out at all. but, sigh. ):

walked all the way from home to westmall to meet mum for lunch.
SUPER HOT CAN! ): wanted to take a bus instead of walking. but stupid 173 wont come at all.
so i JUST WALK THERE! i was late la! very late.

ate subway. COOKIES ARE LOVE. chocolate chips.

trained down to cityhall. AND AGAIN, WALK! to esplanade to merlion area.
my legs were giving way la. lazy to walk, thats all. sigh. ):

went up to the roof esplanade. then we headed off to Singapore Flyer. and again WALK!
please, i was half dead. the sun is making my eyes close. my legs are breaking off. TIRED!

Singapore Flyer was kinda cool. i told mum that i will sit on it 3 years later.
WHEN ALL THE CRANES ARE GONE. better view of Singapore.
now with all the cranes, what do you see? CRANES! and MORE CRANES.

bused home after that. wanted to take train 'cos of train concession.
mama being a lazy mum, dont want to walk back to cityhall to take train. ):

got my beauty sleep in the bus. YAY! finally.
woke up and saw the sky was awfully black! and i know its going to pour soon.
legs were super soft, i cant even walk properly.
I BUMPED INTO MUM. and i wanted to roll down the staircase!

went to vcd rental shop. and i rented ISWAK2.
since its hols and exams are over, I CAN WATCH NOW! yay.
-----

talked to wk online.
he wants me to go for chalet so badly!
for what? BULLY ME! -__-

but the point is,
if i cant click well with the rest of them, why go?
if i go, will i enjoy?
i dont think i will enjoy at all. all i will do is, EMO! ):
-----

i just wish to see you, badly.
those eyes, that smile.

now, talking to him, is like talking to 4 big walls.
he wouldnt reply me. sms-ed halfway, he wont reply anymore.
am i a person that you hate so much to the extend of not talking to me, at all?
if i am, please, just tell. i know it will hurt, but just tell me.

questions left unanswered.
you left me, being so naive.
you left me, allowing me to ask for more.
you left me, being alone.

if only things could turn back to way things were before, wouldnt it be better? sigh.
all you would say is just a "SORRY", but will it ever heal the heart?

you closed the door already, what have i to do?
i want to close that door too, but can i do it?
the point is, i dont want to.

i know i am a idiot at this, but i really want to give it one more try.
i will wait. even if its painful.

i love you still, deep down. i wont use the word "forever", a word just too big for now.
but seriously, i mean it!

i want to walk that Southern Ridges and sit on the Singapore Flyer with YOU!
every time i look at it, that dream just shatters right in front of my eyes.
-----

boring week ahead. i want to go out. CAN SOMEONE GO OUT WITH ME?

2008-08-25T17:02:00.015+08:00

180808monday

busy studying for exams. was super last minute la. nothing really got into my head when i study. sigh. but al least i tried to study. i was actually wondering how to study java. it was fully memory work. exam papers were all standard. so just read through. bad day though. sigh.

190808tuesday

went to school early to study java with the rest of them. tried memorizing all the work. siao la. its alot. trying to understand is worse too. just memorize la. didnt want to care much already. i was busy thinking of something else la. seriously. sigh. 2bucks nuggets for lunch. how unhealthy! ):

it was time to head for examination hall! scary can. is like O levels lah. maybe worse. walked in, my heart jumping out already. ): my table was nearing the front. table 5, so ITS THE FRONT! its worse. last time was table 12, now 5! SCARY MAN!

didnt actually know what i was writing. i just write whatever i could remember. some questions, i just wrote rubbish. i dont know whether right or wrong. I JUST WRITE! suddenly, left one question, i was thinking of the question. i was thinking of something else. maybe others will know what. I WROTE HIS NAME ON MY PAPER! for i dont know what reason. just that its the other way round. how dumb can! i dont know why i wrote his name la k. i cant think anymore, i dont know what to write on the paper. and i had to leave. really had to leave. the pain was so unbearable. excruciating pain. i cant even stand up straight.

on the way back home, i just counldnt take it anymore. so painful. ):

STUDY FOR COS!

200808wednesday

cos paper. decided not to go early to study with the rest. went down to school a little later. studied at home and in the train and before the paper started.

i forgot what i memorize, so just try my best write out those i remembered. sigh! bad paper. everyone was like "die la die la" same here.

decided not to have lunch with the rest. so i headed back home on my own again. YES,AGAIN.

210808thursday

went to nettes place to study. but we didnt even touch our books!

blockquote from nette.

today has been a veryvery fun day, but extremely unproductive. still, i'm thankful. being surrounded by my dwarfs lately made me realise just how much i miss their company, and how easily they can set me right. spending time with dorcas today just reminded me so much of the fairfield days, and it just cheered me up instantly. we talked about all the stupid, childish things we used to do, and did all the stupid, childish things all over again

anyway, check out all the zi lian photos dorcas took of herself at my house! she so funny you know. she didn't even wake me up when she reached me house. she went straight underneath my bed to catch up one HER OWN beauty sleep. HAHA! so when the frog prince called me around ten to one, and i realised the time, i wondered why dorcas hadn't called me yet. when i talked and everything, she didn't respond, so i thought i was alone in my room! after i hung up, i discovered that i received NINE messages. two from dorcas, and the rest from froggy. one of dorcas' messages was, "NETTE! wake up! dorcas waiting for you. in your room. downstairs. lol" and i was like, "HUH?! sure not!" i looked down and i COULDN'T SEE EVEN A SINGLE STRAND OF HAIR! i thought she was trying to be funny, so i called her. goodness gosh, didn't hear the vibration and no ringtone either! i only realised that she was in my room when she said, "HELLO?" and i was so shocked! that stupid woman! haha. she said that she didn't say anything cause she was sleeping. and she picked up the phone knowing that it was me! stupid lar, boyfriend! hahahha!

she introduced me to a new anime called SHUGO CHARA!!! it's rocking,
rocking cute! and veryveryvery funnyyyy! =D and we watched while eating our kfc
lunch, which was really superrrr filling. check this out! tigger's watching
toooo!

my mum was so random. she suddenly gave me this pack of eyeshadow even
though i don't use make up. we discovered the mirror and did this:

thanks nette! I WAS HAPPY TOO. just being with you is just so comfortable.

I LOVE YOU! {kicks norman away! (x}

220808friday

ROWING COMPETITION DAY!

woke up at like 5.30 and rush down to clementi at 6.45. in the end, only both yulian and i reached first. then ben. the rest was like later than us! ROAR. esp wenxi. she said 6.45, she herself late la!

took a taxi down to jalan buroh where the rowing associates is. we had to help the taxi driver find the way. cos, we all dont know the way. THANKS TO DORCAS SIN we made it there in less then 10 bucks! HEH. but actually the taxi driver said he went wrong way, so he off the meter. HOW NICE!

went on some floating platoon. super cool. get to hold the boat once. ONCE! i just love climbing up and down the divider. tried, suntanning! funnaye. tried sleeping too! i lie on the divider to suntan and sleep. but super hot, i cant take it anymore.

lunched there

walked out

walked to bus stop

bused to clementi

ate lunch again at sumo!

then head to nette's place

the four of us fell asleep in her room till 6.30! FUNNAYE!

230808saturday

home the whole day.

lunched with brother at westmall. BURGER KING. fatty!

came home and studied

sigh. its boring!

240808sunday

church ; membership class

came home and slept till 6.30.

what a pig la.

tried studying. useless.

TODAY

had math exam. was kinda good. can do. but not all. i dont understand the question! but i just try whatever they give la. sat for the whole 2 hours la. cant believe it. other papers was like after one and a half hours i walk out already.

class went to celebrate yukai's bday.

i didnt go. ): didnt tell my mother anyway. so, its best to head home.

--------

last tuesday, i told yulian i missed him and wrote this to me:

Hey girl, what is the matter you're crying your heart out again
Don't lie girl, this was not some accident, your bruises they give you away.
Your face sighs in shades of purple, your eyes a story of pain
Walk away, you're worth more than he'll ever realize, baby walk away.
Spare yourself this pain cant you see that he's not worth it?
You're not mean to be treated this way, baby walk away.
You say that you really love him, you say that he'll notice someday

But your face still sighs in the purple, your eyes tells a story of shame, walk away
You're worth more than he'll ever realize baby walk away, spare yourself this pain,
Cant you see that he's not worth it?
You've been waiting for his love for so many years
well girl, you may not live to see that day.
baby walk away. your not meant to be treated this way.
baby walk away. baby walk away. baby walk away.

i miss you and i love you, i really do

maybe those words that you use to love, is a hate now.

dont care whether you will read or not, i will still write.
maybe till one day, it fades away. {maybe it wont and i dont want to}

i dont know. sigh ):

i cant help it, you just way to deep inside.

sigh, i just cant click well with the others nowadays

i really felt alone. worse than secondary school.

with dwarfs in other schools and was left alone by HIM!

everything just gone worse just within months. MONTHS!

I JUST HATE 2008! ):

i really want to say this to the whole congragation,

"You are the God whom i love and whom i want to follow"

but do i have the faith and confidence that this is the right time to go through this affirmation?

2008-08-23T23:58:00.002+08:00

blogging nearing into midnight isnt a good thing okay!
just way too tired, after dealing with the blogskin and stuff.
as you can see, i have changed my blogskin. YES, AGAIN.
thats cos, i wanted to play around with the codes.
html codes are so much easier to read and understand la
java codes are like can read but dont understand.
thats stupid. really!

wont blog much, as its midnight. and i have church tomorrow.
AND I GOT TO STUDY FOR C.MATH! i guess i just flung it and retake the module.
ARH! i totally forgot integration can! sigh, i guess i just do whatever i can.
just blame myself for not studying earlier.
sigh, not disciplined enough. same old habit.
BUT WHO CARE'S! IT'S ME! but somehow, i better change it. or it will get worse.

and PAP'S WORKING OVER NIGHT! sigh

will blog about the past week after math exam.

toodles, guys!

2008-08-17T22:17:00.003+08:00

We're to the point of no return
And along the way the only thing we've learned
Is how to hurt each other
{lyrics by Backstreet Boys - Something That I Already Know}

i know those word are true, through the things i am going through.
but the point is if i love him that much, how could i ever going to let it go?
stupid dramas will say "if you love that someone, you have to let the person"
thats 'cos that person dont even love you, so you, of course have to let the person go.

Here I stand within your presence
Longing for your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My jesus, my precious saviour
I'm forever yours
{Lyrics by Planetshakers - I'm Forever Yours}

though i am not part of you anymore, i am still HIS
i am still HIS right from the beginning.

The trouble is I can't get ~~her~~HIM out of my mind
When I close my eyes at night
Who's gonna save me
Now ~~she's~~HE'S gone
The trouble is there's a part of me
That still can't let go of ~~her~~HIM memory
And now I know what it is
Love is what the trouble is
{lyrics by Backstreet Boys - Trouble is}

maybe you would have stop reading.
i dont know, cos you wouldnt tag anymore.
still, i am going tell you this
i still LOVE you. okay?

MAMA, I WANT TO HAVE SMALL GATHERING AT OUR PLACE!
can i please please invite 7 dwarfs, ahem with friends, churchies??
{ahem refers to HANDSOME!}

2008-08-16T23:13:00.004+08:00

things do change.
sometimes i really wish that you will continue to tell me whats going on in your life.
like we always do. but now, as friends.
sometimes i really wish that you will continue to talk to me.
like how you always do. but now, as friends.

to me, its hard being friends. too hard.
but what am i to do? i cant really do much, but go with the flow.

now, i dont know why. its seems that so many things are troubling me. i just feel like crying all out. but who can cry to now? sometimes, i really wish i could cry it out to sweets{i dont know why i type this, but you are still} but, i know i cant.
now, at this point of time, i really want to cry it out all to God, for he will provide.
things going through in life, right now. isnt the way i wanted at all.

peiying knew something was wrong. she asked. she was there to listen. though she wasnt that close to me, but i knew she cares alot. THANKS.

sometimes, things happen for some reason.
sometimes, you wouldnt even know the reason.

after listening to that song by HONG JUNYANG 难道
i really stood by the the window and cried it all out. cos i could really feel my heart cracking into two pieces. and everything seems so grey now. i couldnt erase anything that relates to you. even if i try hard to not think about, its just temporary.

always wanting to say those words to you. but the situation now, its hard.
sry, mum. i have to say this. i still love him. and its hard for me to let go.

now, i have to start learning to be understanding and stop hurting people.
i feel like i am hurting people without noticing it. SO SO SO SORRY! REALLY! ):

God, teach me to be understanding. teach me to be strong. teach me to overcome things with a positive mind. sometimes i just feel so weak, it feels like i am going to fall anytime. Lord, help me to stand firm in any circumstances. no matter how difficult each obstacle i go through in life, teach me to seek inner peace and go through things with a clear positive mind.

2008-08-15T22:44:00.006+08:00

OMGOSH! i really feel like getting this phone!

dont you just find it so so so cool?

but it seems like i also want to get sony ericsson phone

I WANT EVERYTHING LAH!

this week's kinda busy cum slack week

been studying a little. yes, a little. i am so not prepared to majors la. which is like next week!

and i really want to take jap can one of my electives. and i have to pass all to get it. if not, please stop at french. cos i actually regretted puting thinking and solving as my third choice. mum told me its good for me , 'cos i dont think alot. SO DEMORALISING CAN! but still, i should have placed german as my third choice. sigh. selections are over and there isnt a point moaning over it. sigh. BIG MISTAKE THOUGH!

monday110808

stayed home and studied. kinda productive though. but get a little too distracted with the lappy sometimes. so it was whole day studying and using the lappy. nothing much. at least i got some work done. AND THATS GOOD.

tuesday120808

met up with nette and yulian at jurong east to get some work done. we were suppose to meet at 10 but we all woke up late. so we met at 10.30. fortunately, yulian and i got a seat, when nette calls and wanted breakfast. so we had to say bye bye to that seat. so we had breakfast at LJS thats cos it was already 11 and macs doesnt sell breakfast anymore. they miss big breakast. i ate it a week ago! we ended starting work at about 12. but still fiddling with lappy for a while. nette went back to school for test, and would come back later. i studied one chapter and yulian one line before we went for lunch at KFC. we shared the variety value meal and large chicken popcorn. okay, we look super poor can! one burger, one drumstick, two prawn nuggets, cheese fries and large chicken popcorn. went back to library to find our seats, cos our sear was taken away after we placed our bags at yulian's friends table. yulian was like"huh! so fast!" in the end, we sitted at her friend's table while they went for lunch. please, they went clementi lah! make us wait so long. the both of us didnt even study. we were like surfing the net! for phones. soon i left when they came back. nette back when i left too. but didnt get to see her. it seems like is isnt productive at all!!!

plan for wed: wear fmss pe shirt, school skirt and shoes. head for fmss to study.

wednesday130808

head down to fmss in school sports attire. i look super funny! both yulian and i tried to get the uncle to let us in to study in learn@fairfield. but uncle is just too mean to let us in. we dressed ourselves to hid our identity leh! still cannot. ): so we headed to nette's house. as always when disaster struck.

supposed to study. in the end, WE DIDNT TOUCH OUR BOOKS! and this is what we did:

#can be enlarge!

as usual, this what we always do when we all get bored.

THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE MY TIGGER OKAY!

and how much i love my BIG BIG TIGER

headed down to raffles place for robinson's job interview

in the end, we didnt got. looking at the schedule.

both of them cant make it, only me. i didnt want to go alone.

so walked over to capital building to check that sport shop.

both yulian and i wrote that application form. yeah.

trained home with yulian while nette went to her friend's house.

was totally drained. with all the laughing and walking.

and look at the weather, HORRIBLE!

thursday140808

stayed home. tried studying. yeah, nothing got in. stupid.

met mum at jurong point to look at FEB29 bags.

daddy needs a new bag. and i thought of getting the leather one. but mum said"your father ah, put so many things inside. dont know what he put in. always so fat. you think can fit everything not? i think he needs a broader one!" okay, mum was right. in the end, we didnt buy. -__-

walked over to jurong medical centre. mum had check up. so i followed.

when everything ends, we had to walk back to jurong point to get littlefella his food. once i walked out, there is this wierd couple, DATING OUTSIDE MEDICAL CENTRE. outside. wierd ppl. lucky i didnt look back and see his school badge. if not, i think i will get beaten up for looking. scary to think about it.

and i ate OLDCHANGKEE for lunch. unhealthy though, but its nice.

today150808

went back to fmss for gb with yulian. yeah, helped out a bit during squad time. dont know what my squad sia. monkeys. they talk so much rubbish and i was thinking nothing will come out. and when i look at it, smart ppl!

went for some briefing that mr ow needed help in. what rowing competion?! i dont know. i just go la. half listening. half not. was busy thinking of other stuff.

played with yulian's psp. DJMAX! while walking her out to the gate. in the end i also never walk her out. i went straight to ms reena's classroom for badgework. PAULINE IS SUPER NOISY CAN! cannot stop one lor.

ended. when to dover to get food. super hungry. sw treated me drink. cos i really needed one.

thanks though. strawberry yogurt! yay!

and back home!

2008-08-12T22:45:00.009+08:00

难道- 洪俊扬
难道
说着下雨了
我忽然明了
说好的明天我们一去不逃
你说分手好吗
我说好吧
沉默那么痛呀
雨天越来越大
你想一想解释我生命中与你完美的笑
难道你还没看到整个天慢慢灰了
你说的我总做到就除了把你给忘掉
难道你还没听到我的心慢慢碎了
连电话我都删掉可是你的笑怎么清除掉
*
哦~~
耶~~
难道你还没看到整个天慢慢灰了
你说的我总做到就除了把你给忘掉
难道你还没听到我的心慢慢碎了
连电话我都删掉可是你的笑怎么清除掉
忘也忘不掉
忘也忘不掉

somehow, i find the song of the lyrics seems like what i am going through now.
nice song though. listen and look out for lyrics.
those dont know chinese, sry. the song is in chinese.

the only difference was i didnt delete the number

2008-08-11T21:41:00.003+08:00

sometimes i really wanted to know why.
i am just so curious to know about everything.

can you please tell me why do you still care so much?
yes, i love the way you care and i want it to continue.
but the point is, why?

can you also tell me why still keep the photos?
i wish you could keep it for as long as possible.
but soon, you will have to get rid of those.

you said you still care. but i dont see why cant you talk me first instead of me?
it makes me think even deeper, those six steps i wrote.

i wish you could continue to draw for me. your drawings are the best.
its long since you drew for me. its long since i see your drawings.

trying so hard to be strong. but inside i feel weak.
trying so hard to smile. but all the more i feel even worse
trying so hard not to cry. but its just too painful
trying so hard to not think about. but its just too difficult
trying so hard to move on. but i am just too confused

didnt know going through this, was so tough and painful.
you should know its hard too. four years. dont you think its hard?

i wish there would be a happy ending
but who knows? the happy ending might just stop here and will never ever continue.

no matter how hard i cry,
no matter how much i cry,
things will never be the same as before.

some times i actually asked myself,
did i actually regret getting into a relationship which could last this long?
my answer: yes and no

yes, why?
i didnt know this kind of thing would happen. which i actually didnt want it to happen to me. though it happen to him, somehow or rather we got back. cos i knew i wasnt so sure about it. and right now, when i was kinda sure, this happens right smack in front of me.

no,why?
meeting this guy was rather fortunate. loving me for four years. and yes, i love him for four years too and please, i am still counting. he didnt actually stop for once. he being so understanding and was able to tolerate all my nonsense and anger. i guess, he's one of a kind. i just find him a cutie, cos he does things that could really cheer me up. doing silly stuff, just to see me smile. was there when i needed him so badly, also when i was in trouble. even when i had problems, he was just there to give me a listening ear. he was there, when i cried, real hard. he is just my little sunshine in my life. its like he completes me.

now, no more sunshine. its just me,myself and i now.

Lord, grant me strength in me to carry on.

sometimes you only realise how important things are once its gone
somehow, time will tell.

thanks alot alex, for that talk that night.

2008-08-10T22:54:00.004+08:00

>click to enlarge

you guys really are my SUNSHINES in my life
thanks alot! for making my life so colourful like the rainbow!
maybe more than the rainbow.

------
today is sunday.
as usual, went to church.
oh please, my brother rushed me out of the house can. i havent really dressed up and he was "FAT ASS, faster lah! late already." he always says that and i am already used to it. mum left for early service 'cos she has meeting after that. so i had to train down with brother. saw leti while walking out of the train station. so we walked together to church. we were all late, and still we were walking so slow like no one's business.

walked into khuen hall with leti after having a stick of fishball. yeah, thats my breakfast! ): sad hur! they had already started worship. like of course, i said i was late lah! had welcoming as usual after worship. i was sitting next to lois, i shall call her my twin. 'cos many said we look a like. okay, even passport photos looks the same. getting back point. yeah, we sitting next to each other, so we started talking. i will keep those small and tiny.

she: {first question} are you still with erm... that guy! oh yeah. IVAN! hur?
me: erm no. over already. and i cried for two hours that day and and a few other days.
she: when?! dont sad kaes?
me: two weeks ago {exactly!}
she: dont sad! you two how long?
me: 4 years
she: WHA! okay. why hur?
me: he lor
she: okay. understand. different school mah. DONT SAD ALREADY!
me: (smiles back, but still feeling sad)

after welcoming and so on, was cell. mark has new materials for us. but i find it rather deep. so i asked for somthing simpler. we had nice talks during cell today. today's cell was rather slack lah.

service. sat with the usual. was mostly talking. but i did listen!
guys: i guess i am alright okay? dont have to worry too much! yep!

mum went for briefing for brother's mission trip to cambodia. i want to go so badly but there is still school. how irritating! I WANT TO GO MISSION TRIP TO CAMBODIA!

lunched and shopping with mum! yay!
bought long sleeves from cotton on! love long sleeves!

came home and rested and was out again for dinner with the whole family.
went to have ice cream at ice cream gallery. awesome! strawberry cheesecake and lychee. joked around. okay, mum loves my jokes. i dont know why. she says i am not good in anything but only good at jokes. cos, brother heard a song playing in ice cream gallery while eating. then he stopped eating with his in a wierd position. so i said, " what you doing? meditating ah?!" mum just started laughing after that. all i could was laugh with her. funnaye mama i have

AND I FINALLY HELD HIS HAND! yay!

2008-08-09T22:08:00.005+08:00

{edited/}

its seems like its taking up real fast

first step: some sort of a cold shoulder
second step: you will ignore me
third step: you will avoid me
forth step: you will delete everything
fifth step: you will stop reading
{edits/}
sixth step: you will forget me

i guess, possibilities are really 0%

but will you ever do that?
please dont k?

):

I WANT TO SHOP SO BADLY!
i want skinny jeans!
i want long sleeves shirt like those from cotton on!

2008-08-09T20:46:00.009+08:00

guess what i will do when i get super bored
with the camera beside is you, like always.
nothing will change the habit of mine!

THIS IS WHAT I DO!
the camera is super tempting to take photos of myself.
so that is it. yeah, it isnt nice as the one nette did for me.
but at least i tried something out with my new software, that school has asked me to buy, which is the whole collection of ADOBE CS3! , which is kinda cool!
I KNOW I WAS JUST BEING EGO. but its just for fun! and i was bored ):

OMGOSH! NAT HO'S BLOG! {actually i saw it in huiling's blog}
i am so going to save his blog url man!
check it out man yourself
http://natho.net/nblog/

JOANNA PEH'S BLOG! gosh! where did huling got this from! cool!
http://ajollyaffair.wordpress.com/

somehow or rather, I STILL MISS FAIRFIELD! ):

2008-08-09T15:21:00.008+08:00

watching two movies in a week was rather cool. or did i watched two shows in a day? its still the same anyway.

watched L:changed the world online and Dark Knight with mum in cinema

gosh, i love batman's motobike in the show. really cool! should watch!
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

------

PICTURES OF MY SPECKIES!

so now, i got two speckies to wear.

i changed the lens for my purple specky.

so i can choose whichever i want to wear from what clothes matches which specky!

YAY! i still my purple specky though.

------

talked to ivan last night. for quite awhile.

tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:

can i tell you something

Ibern JUSTEMO:

yeah sure

tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:

DORCAS IS STILL LISTENING {respond to your personal message}

Ibern JUSTEMO:
haha
Ibern JUSTEMO:
thank you..
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
yay!
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
finally the haha came out!
Ibern JUSTEMO:
?
Ibern JUSTEMO:
Why leh
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
i just love the you "haha"
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
i dont know if its real
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
but still at least it came out
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
i will still continue to make you smile through here
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
though i cant see you smile
tried so hard to put on that smile. but sry, i cant:
and though we aint together anymore

-----

looking through friendster testi quite some time ago.

those from him. arh! dont want to talk about it anyway.

i saw one from brother and jireh. super cute one.

this one from my brother

hahaz..,my sis of mine..,nice person to chat wif..,always my first target for disturbing..,always disturb until she not happy..whaha..wad can i say abt my sis..,well she has found the "sillyboy" of her life..,which i shall not reveal who for confidential purposes..,she's noisy,irritating,can be a pain in de neck.,but well she's my sis anyway.....wads wif the sillyboy and sillygirl stuff..

this one from Jireh

whee. im nice la so ill help u write one cos im really too free. erm. shes de sister of my pal isaac. seems shes oso got de high state of nirvana ( ask ur bro wat tt means hehe ) can be rather noisy n childish but yeah shes only 13. i dun really noe her tt well but shes nice la. okok ill end here cos i dunno wat to write. take care n God Bless!
~jirk was here~

funny right? once i look at it, i just start laughing. funnaye!

2008-08-08T22:10:00.013+08:00

common tests are over. what a relieve. wasnt that bad afterall. at least i have one or two days of rest before getting myself to mug for majors. going to be tiring and stressful. but still, i have to train myself to be discipline. now, i am totally not. leaving everything to last minute. and its really sucks. shouting all the way in tutorial room " die already" doesnt work. climbing from wall to wall in tutorial room doesnt work either. hey, i really did that la. i sat on the ledge by the window trying to get things into my head. but, its in the room, not outside. if its outside, I WILL DEFINITELY SCREAM MY HEAD OFF!

#note:i actually scream in front of the examinor la! opps!

before common test, "hey, i sit behind you" all this sentence was like repeating everywhere i went. but i tell you, it really hard to copy. i tried to sneak in papers into my pencilcase. but i know still can see. so in the i didnt. didnt even get to copy la!

WK was like asking me how was it at the end of both test. i said okay. 'cos both of us was totally lost for database. serious. he scared he was the only one. so i had to scream at "STILL HAVE ME LA!" seriously, was funny. i started laughing when he just stared at me. funny! i was actually kinda worried for com skills. i totally wrote crap, but of course, with common sense. which, my mum happily said i didnt have common sense. how saddening la! i still laugh anyway. how sadist can i be?

and MURU! for goodness sake, stop pointing middle finger at me! trying to make me point at you! NO WAY MAN!

now, i shall let photos do the talking.
as you know, pictures speak louder than words {wk always says that!}

{events may not be in sequence, but i will try}

my darling's wedding with aloisius!

go this webpage to see the photos

somehow or rather, i cant save any of the photos into my lappy.

christopher made it into flash. WT!

please click on the correct one. is serene and aloisius 26th july08

http://lightbox.christophereina.com/gallery/index.php

FOP on 2 AUGUST

coped from belly's blog

the rest of the photos is with nette. i will get them updated soon as i get hold of them!

i love that photo with yulian! looks cute!

FOUNDERS DAY THANKSGIVING 1ST AUGUST

FOUNDER'S DAY DINNER 4TH AUGUST

FOUNDER'S DAY WAS JUST A BLAST! AWESOME!

thought i didnt had a photo with you. its okay!

2008-08-07T14:52:00.004+08:00

I AM SO TIRED OF STUDYING!
i rather give up can! ):
i totally dont know what i am studying la!

arh! i think she knows already. HOW SADDENING TO HEAR IT! ):
its okay. i feel sad too. FOR MYSELF!

2008-08-07T14:14:00.004+08:00

opps. ITS BLACK. NOT BLUE. ARH! colour blind!
the strips make it look blue. {whatever dorcas, EXCUSES!}
sry ivan. ITS BLACK WITH BLUE STRIPES!
yay! still handsome lah! AS ALWAYS!

still love you anyway.

2008-08-06T11:37:00.009+08:00

4 years, its hard to let go.

it should be stronger, but it ended up fading away.

now left alone, i cant really do much.

i got no one to cry to, not anymore.

i got no to lean on anymore.

you left. its over.

4 YEARS! why couldnt it still carry on? ):

we once held hands so tightly, that we didnt want to let it go.

but now, when i held it so tightly, you let me go.

not knowing when i would slipped away, NOW. now was the time i actually slipped away from your hands, from your heart.

what are the possibilities? i dont know.

you may think its easy to let it go just like that. but now, i am telling you how hard is it. because, you already placed yourself in my heart that i coudnt even forget you. couldnt even forget you.

i am tired, too tired, TIRED OF CRYING! ):

i still love you

i still miss you

but, you dont.

2008-08-05T18:32:00.007+08:00

now books seems to be piling up.

COMMON TEST AND EXAMS ARE COMING!

and i havent even started studying!

I NEED MORE TIME! ):

-------

2008-08-05T17:13:00.014+08:00

done by NETTE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAIRFIELD! (:

just so amazing. FAIRFIELD IS 120 YEARS OLD.

can you believe it? i dont think other schools like FMSS would be that old besides MGS. i think MG is much older than FMSS. or the other way. i dont know. but the main point is FMSS for now. MY LOVE, MY HOME, MY LIFE.

whenever i step in to Fairfield, it brings back alot of memories. from primary school all the way to secondary school. i couldnt actually believe that so many things has changed so much over the past 10 years. God has really bless the school so much. that maybe none of us have ever noticed. all we did was complain and complain. but now, i knew God was actually moving in the lives of those in Fairfield and also in Fairfield itself. cos God has really changed my life alot after going through daily devotions and chapel services every tuesday, for 4 years.(not adding primary school, i was still a little toot) and adding, the CCA i was in, which i dreaded for about 2 years. now, i really kinda miss those. especially the way Ms Lim talks and encourages us and motivates us to aim higher with God's word. its really encouraging. she can be fierce but she can be friendly at times. th way she speaks just touches my heart so much that i took every single word seriously (though now i forgot everything she said) funny eh?

i still think Fairfield is one school which is totally different from other school. so unique that, other schools dont have the uniqueness we have here in Fairfield. it seems like we are one big family. we seem to know everyone in school. seniors knowing the juniors and the juniors knowing the seniors. we interact in such a way that is totally different. thats cos we place God in every conversation, every trouble, every problems we had. We always place God first in our lives. cos we all know God will provide for all our needs. no matter what, we all have each other and God to lean on.

for me, i actually thought of not moving on to FMSS thats cos i feel like i wanted to be in a different environment, meeting different kind of people around. but still, its God's plan to place me back in Fairfield. if i didnt had a place in Fairfield, i wouldnt have met the SQUIRTS then moving on to the DWARFS, which consist of the squirts and three others who we always hang out together. and i wouldnt have met the guy, who i could also share everything in life. though some of us met each other in primary school, moving up to the same secondary school together, we alll had changed. from kiddies to maybe bigger kiddies. but we all had so much fun together. doing funny things together. screaming and shouting together like a bunch of monkeys. at times, we do quarrel. cry over small things together. making a big fuss. angry over small things, we still made up to each other. either through calls or sms-es. when we cry, we had one another lean on. being alone, isnt that great. who could you share troubles with? NO ONE.

DWARFS: we stuck together for 3 years. and i am still counting. sharing God's word, sharing our troubles and problems and even joy. nothing could actually take anyone of us away. through God, i think we will always be the dwarfs till death do us apart.

HIM: we stuck together for 4 years. sharing every single problems and troubles we had. but now, sadly we are through. if we are still friends, i will continue to count the years that we can be friends. cos i actually didnt want to say bye bye to that relationship. of course, i still love you. but, only you have the right to say if you want it back or not.

-------

having able to meet 4A at the dinner last night was awesome. every single programme was just undescribable. planned so perfectly. i actually enjoyed myself. though starting was not so. crying over things which i shouldnt be crying about. but after that, i knew, i had to stop. i should not ruin my day at all. but my eyes were tired after crying. SY was there, she knew what i was going through after telling her what happened. THANKS SIEWYI! SW was there too, he knew everything. i told him why cried. he knew i was in pain. he just put his round my shoulders to give me comfort. THANKS SHENGWEI, once my patient, now my councellor. and for spencer, thanks for talking to me about it, though i really dont know where you found out from. the point is, at least you cared for a friend, me. what you said, i dont know if its true. but i guess i have to believe. since you said you talked to him. THANKS ALOT SPENCER!

my class guys are really funny though. i was talking to spencer and suddenly one big bunch of guys came over to hear. but i cant let others hear about it, so i just push spencer away, but still they were following. funny eh?

DORCAS WILL STILL JUMP FOR FAIRFIELD FOR AS LONG AS SHE LIVE!

I LOVE YOU FAIRFIELD!

{/edit}

the handsome guy in blue striped shirt, black skinnies and white converse shoe!

I STILL LOVE YOU! ):

2008-08-04T11:02:00.005+08:00

i held it tight, but still it slipped away.
thats cos you let it slipped away.

locked up in my room.
trying to study.
ended up stoning.
trying not cry.

5june was normal not great for you afterall
that was the last time, you felt it. i knew it was that day.
the rest of the days, were all pretending days. i dont know. thats cos you dont know. (dont understand, dont bother)
sry ppl. I DONT LIKE 5 JUNE ANYMORE! its gone for now! sigh. ):

still wanna cry so badly though it already happened for a week.

my love for you shall never end. i know that.

2008-08-01T23:46:00.005+08:00

i was happy to see you but at the same time i was sad. i dont know why.

i just feel like i dont have the right to be happy or sad at this moment.

i knew something would happen if i would ever ever EVER step into fairfield again.

memories are so much like water. they flow. so memories just flow back. back into my mind.just make me feel like crying. BADLY.

at school, i saw the whole school at field. i knew i had a chance to see you. thats 'cos i miss you. eventually, i did. in a polite way, YES I DID WAVE. i cant just ignore. the moment i see you, automatically, i just felt like waving. so i did.

pictures taken everywhere,every single minute, i wanted to catch a glimsp of you. when everything ends, the moment i saw you left. i really wanted to grab you hard. but i knew i cant. i was just standing there, hoping you could turn back. to look at me, 'cos i saw you left. it didnt happen. it seems that all the answers were just written on your back.

walking back to jumbo, was just so amazing.

just one turn to the right, and things happen just came back to mind.

how lovely. but will all these repeat again? no one knows. not even me.

i always wish this was a lie. but who would lie about this? DUMBASS?!

taking a bus back, just close my eyes. i already feel like crying.

why must things happen this way? WHY?!

you left me questions that only you could answer.

i wish to call you SWEETS again

thats 'cos you are just too sweet

i wish you could be my BIG BIG TIGER again

thats 'cos you are always there to protect me

i wish you could be my BIGGEST BLANKET again

thats 'cos you are able to give me the warmest hugs ever

i wish you could be my tissue paper again ( i know its funny, but i mean it)

thats 'cos you are always there when i cry hard

i wish to hold sweaty palms of yours again

thats 'cos those were the hands that wipe away my tears

i wish i could lie on your shoulder again

thats 'cos i know i could always lean on you

can i still have strawberry lollipops?

you told me you still cared. thanks. but i dont know why.

you said you still keep those pictures. i didnt know why either.

(i dont know about now, maybe your friends talked to you about it)

hwing says"i think he still ________."

she maybe right, but who knows. only you.

i dont even know if i am clinging on or letting it go. just stuck in the middle. so not knowing what to do. my heart aches, still. but what can i do?

sry, but you left something

YOUR NAME CARVED DEEP IN MY HEART that i could hardly remove it.

you said you will sms me first. but still, it was me.

YES, i still miss you. like crazy.

i wish i could see you again. as soon as possible.

monday( dinnner) i dont know. i wish i could.

i dont know if you are still reading my blog. if you read this already, you can ignore. but i am telling you now, every single word, came deep down from my heart. ):

DORCAS, YOU GOT TO TRY NOT TO CRY ANYMORE! ):

i know dwarfs will be there,

they know how much i miss him.

they know how much i love him.

credit to NETTE!

2008-07-29T18:48:00.003+08:00

i cry, cos i love you
i cry, cos i miss you
i cry, cos its painful
i cry, cos its hard to forget
i cry, cos its over.

DORCAS, its over. ):

i love the way you patted my head ):

stoning again, its like wth! ):

please let me go

GIRLFRIEND, I NEED YOU! ):
WIFEY, I NEED YOU TOO! ):
I NEED THE BOTH OF YOU!

2008-07-28T18:32:00.003+08:00

ever thought of jumping off tallest buildings?

i ever thought of it. sometimes. not always.
scared of heights. yeah. if i were to stand on that tallest building. i will scream and cry. seriously.
i know God will pull me away. life still has to goes on no matter what circumstances. what i am going through now, is my greastest challenge. and i some how or rather have to face it and complete every single obstacle which was created far long ago by God himself. i guess he knows, i was going the wrong direction . but he pulled me out of that relationship which i didnt want it to end.

its hard to forget everything. but really, i dont want to forget you. thats cos, you left memories in me that was just memorable. its just too painful, to forget you. ):

4 years. its been 4 years. and its time to let go. its your choice. i have to follow your decision. what have i do? even if i still cling on to you. you and i know nothing will go on.

but you chose a good timing to let it. concentrate on your studies was so much more important now than me. prelims and o's are coming ahead. its time you work hard.

i could actually remember all the dates. can you?

one year two months and twentysix days, since we last got together gosh i actually counted. now its over.

4 years i have known you(ps)
4 years we were more than friends(ss)
will this eight years continue? being friends? very good friend?

that few hours of waiting at mrt station and below your house was really worth. cos it was just so quiet, all the memories we had flow back. esp below your house. time was mostly spend there. ):

mum, i am so sorry. making cry and so on. making you worry for 4 years. 4 YEARS. i know its been hard for you. i was such a great sinner in God's eyes. but still, you talked the sense out of me. whether to do it my way, or his way. but i have already decided, to follow God's way. you prayed hard for me. and if i repent now, God will forgive. i know that. God will help me out through the phase of letting it go.

2008-07-25T23:58:00.003+08:00

now, lost. STONING ALL THE TIME.
i feel so helpless. for now, i really do.

i want to hate you but i cant. 'cos i still love you
i want to trust you even more. but are you letting me do it?
but, i still love you.

i want to know what is going on with in your life.
but i know you wont tell me anything.
who am i to you? maybe a nobody
what you do, who you hang out with i dont know
but i will have my ways on finding out. good or bad, i dont know.
but still, i want to be that girl in your life.
to change you, change you to be better.
bring you much closer to God.

2008-07-16T20:05:00.005+08:00

130708sunday
church and out with mummy!
had breakfast with cell at yakun too! (:
andrew with his camera again. tsk

140708monday
only had two hours of school. GREAT. there isnt PD lesson. so i actually slept in a little before heading to school for Com skills lesson.

it was presentation day. so whole class had to wear formal. met louise at the mrt then we walked to class together. really very very hot! ): we were complaining. louise looks really smart man! hahas. my group doesnt need to present but we need to present the next week. how scaary man! after class was photo and more photos.

i only got a few, 'cos i used my phone.
the rest is with jean. i will get her to send me man! hahas

swimming in the evening. tough. swam with polo ball. do we look like we could swim balls?! no! felt unwell after a while.
i fell into the pool can! i was sitting with my back facing the pool. then the coach threw the ball over. i was so scared it will hit me so i scream and tried running away before we threw another ball. when i was trying to run away, i couldnt get up. so i ended up in pool. so everyone was laughing at me! hahahaha. it was funny anyway.

you can click to enlarge it to see. (:

150708tuesday
school as per usual. met tianfu at jurong east to take train to school. he make me go to jurong east. tsk!

COS was rather boring. didnt really listen. then was lunch. i didnt eat. cos i didnt feel like eating(as usual) then was dmd. there was flash practical test. i guess i am going to do badly. i really didnt know how to do at all la. i ask darren to help me do. actually we were just joking la! then was maths. as usual, boring la. cos we were still differentiation. i only scared for integration! i think i really need to get mr ganesan to teach me again. i could understand his teaching more la.

shortie post.

160708today
one hour of class then it was slack time. went to do project and stuff. but didnt really do much la. using the lappy the whole time. ate macs in tutorial room. nearly caught by one of the lecturers. maybe caught already but he didnt say anything. we kept changing room la. cos there was class using the room. rush here and there to clear our things was fun! hahaha.

i feel so lazy to blog!
so eveything is short short short!

2008-07-12T23:12:00.003+08:00

100708thursday
school was just so normal nowadays. just thursday are the most tiring day among the rest of the days. yes, its till 6pm. how bad. lectures and tutorials are getting a bore. i have been sleeping in class and maybe day dreaming. now, i really couldnt be bothered about school. thought test and exams are important, i know i have to do well. if not, there goes. i have to repeat year 1 again. and i dont really want to spend 4 years in poly. its so much like secondary school life. i rather spend another 4 years in fmss then in poly now. sucks man. if i did any better, i would have gone to SP doing my creative media. but, in this course, i love the multimedia part but so not loving the infocomm part.

didnt really end the day well. after hearing my java results, i couldnt take it anymore. i knew i would get that kind of marks. please, i dont understand java. skipped training, because i am bleeding profusely. its worse than other months can. i think its because of the things i am going through now. its really painful. both the stomach and the heart. trained home with the others. it started raining when i was just about to reach home. how lucky i was was that, i had shelter all the way home. the thing is its a super long long way. but to keep dry, i have to walk the long way. at least i would be able to take time to take a deep breathe to smell the rain. its long since i smell the rain. i miss it. and its just so so nice to sleep at that kind of time. in my comfy bed, under my warm blanket. maybe with tigger around? (i miss you) how lovely.

mum was shocked when she found out i didnt go training. tsk. she knows and she expects me to sit there and stare at them train when connie isnt going? no no no, mum.

110708friday
one month ago was his birthday

as usual school again. math tutorial was just such a bore. i just felt like sleeping! ): then, was dmd. heard there was practical test next week. i so going to flung it la. i cant do flash, for goodness sake la. even though its open book, i still cant make it. it was practice, but i just couldnt do it. i practical slack the whole 2 hours. how smart la.

lunch was rather okay. i ate! (you can relax) she and i talked about things. private stuff. things that really annoy us. but still, we are all friends. sry, i really want forgiveness. i was misunderstood. but we tried talking things out, but it got worse. so we didnt bother. i said a little prayer for her and for myself. cos what i said was really unpleasant to His ears. so i really had to repent and ask for forgiveness.
God, i really hope you will continue to heal her heart and change her thinking.

after school, headed her gb with pau. i nearly fell, and valentia was laughing at me la. though she didnt see what happen. but i told her. then she started laughing like no one's business. ): she keep asking me to rewind the scene when i cant even do what i did la. how to rewind?! we spend the time in LT. then ms ong pass us the list for the handover. shall no reveal anything. but i didnt really make any suggestions. cos, i dont know anything! soon, was dismissal.

met nette for chapelthon.
glad to attend it. if not, things wouldnt get any better. i cried, real hard. but both nette and yulian was there. i hugged yulian really real long. cos i really felt like crying all out. nette and yulian has been there this few weeks after that has happen. thanks alot man!

went home after that. bused with nette and yulian to dover station. met norman. then we three trained to jurong east. then the two of them left me. and they went dating. :x roar. nette left me for him. ): he sms-ed me. of course i replied. then suddelnly never already. ):

120708today
home whole day. woke up at 11. what a pig. tried doing work. but not good enough.

BORING!
JUST PLAIN BORING!

dad came home from work and we went out for dinner.
went vivo city to get shoes for my presentation. formal wear. and brother got his wallet. went to starbucks to have a break and soon came home to settle the shoe stuff.

now blogging and watching teevee.
mum cant find the black shawl from nepal! how sad. finding it tml morning. so i can wear to church tml.

i miss you, still

{/edit}
nette's blog has all the photos. from vivo city to funfair and that one picture from chapelthon.

NETTE SEND ME SOON! and continue sending the zoo pics can?

2008-07-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

i wish i could hold on to your hands again.

2008-07-07T22:09:00.005+08:00

050708saturday
FMSS FUNFAIR. hell lots of fun. maybe just a bit. i keep clinging on to yulian. i always bumped into mum and brother. tsk. maybe fmss is just too small? nah. its just a school. lovely school,i will say. met up with the rest. belly's nephew is super cute can. while waiting her to come back. jireh came up and asked where was my brother. where else can he be, my friend? in school, wearing orange and with my mum. i tell you he really blends in with the PIE ppl when he is in the hall. i wonder how ralene knew jireh or jireh knew ralene. ARH! ITS THE SAME! i didnt ask. yulian was curious too. brother bought cold soba. the one that jireh ate. the soup was cold and nice. i didnt want to walk there cos ahem ahem. yeah. i wanted to see ahem badly. yeah. so me and yulian just tried standing there. but i cant turn my body. it will get too obvious. met pau and she give me presents! raining! how bad. everyone seems to be disappearing. nette and hwing came. den chris and yulian disappeared. i was having gastric so we went to buy foood. horrible food i ate. we sat at lovely courtyard to eat. while waiting for the rest to come find us(nette, hwing, me).

KABOOM! (not exactly explode la.)
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DORCAS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU."

i was super shock can. it was the dwarfs. singing that song to me. with one balloon and presents. i wanted balloons. and there it was. they gave 6 pieces of paper and asked me to fixed them up. it say"HAPPY BIRTHDAY DORCAS" with many wierd pictures. with many words. each piece they wrote a letter to me. how sweet. they got me 3 presents. one tigger handphone holder. which wenxi used up the whole roll of scotch tape. and poor tigger was wrapped up like a ball. the other was that "ah ma wallet" thats what my brother calls it. but i call it the pik piang bag. and the last one was the pencil box from 37degrees. nette knew i want those. and she said go back next week. i dont need to go back cos they bought it for me. how lovely. wenxi wrapping skills can FAIL! den we continue walking round the funfair in fmss side. played games. saw esther and alithea. still wanting to see him badly. i just suddenly cry at the spot in the middle of the field. how embarrassing. he came over. didnt talk. wth. I DID HENNA! i saw xue lao shi and aunty kit yee with kai kai! many familiar faces.

i knew something like this would happen. memories will still flow back. i knew it!
THANK YOU DWARFS. I LOVE YOU GUYS LIKE CRAZY!

060608sunday
church. didnt look up for the rest. sry. not in the mood to see you guys. came home and used the lappy and off to SPGG for beading class. i made a new necklace. by myself. how nice. came home and went out to grandma house. grandma is always just so cute. i seem to love her more each time i meet her. went out for dinner. just because of brother and his soccer. tsk. came home and i had to do ppt for com skill. i had to do it all on my own. talked to sop and told her everything. yeah. it hurts. BADLY. i started crying in front of the lappy. mum saw me crying and thought i was crying over my ppt. diao can. slept at 12am la!

070708today
poned PD. was so tired. and i had to rush my ppt. headed her school. and everyone was so buxy with ppt. and i was sitting there slacking la. i didnt know what to do. i was trying to get sick so i can go home after java! but sadly i cant. so i continue school. didnt want to do the presentation. cos there is only two of us. but in the end both of us join another group to present. it waas just a practicce la. came home and slept and off to swimming already. ):

goodness. i cried in the middle of the canteen when i see connie. the unknown guys was like " what happen ah?" "dont know" "she just suddenly cry" thanks alot man unknown guys. cried badly. i decided to tell mum about it. and i did. i brave was i. but i cried over the phone. at least mummy would be there like the dwarfies. mum said a prayer over the phone and told me to go for swimming. so i went.

coacch found me crying. and didnt relly said anything. sometimes he can be nice. and "year7" guy saw me with my eyes red. ): how embarrasing!
coach: you cry ah?
dorcas: *nod my head*
coach: go swim.
like what the!!! so i just swim lor.

swimming ended early. at 7.25. cos they want more time for polo.
coach: what happen?
dorcas: *shake my head* x2
coach: den why waterfall?
dorcas: *shake my head* x2

i of course dont want to tell him la. -__-

2008-07-04T21:22:00.002+08:00

why do i start to feel so bad after a little nap on the bed?
once i woke up, i felt so overwhelmed by the situation. its like drowning me.

what would happen when i am going to step in fairfield again tml?
i really dont know. maybe all the things that happened will slowly flow back into my mind.
i didnt care whether is happy memories or sad memories. as long as its with you. all the memories will come back to mind.

i wish you could think a little more.
maybe i was just stressing you out.
its okay, if you give me cold shoulder.
for now, i will try to understand.

as he kisses her,

she could really feel the love all around.

how lovely

2008-07-04T17:21:00.003+08:00

020708wednesday
met up with nette after school. we deicided to go vivo instead of dailyscoop and island creamery. because i ate it the day before. we talked. and i saw that wallet i wanted. but super ex. but still i want it! we went to superdog to have lunch. then we headed upstairs to walk around. 37degrees it was. wallets and pencil boxes are so nice. i want them all. nette say we shall come back next week. we went to children's playground. took photos. didnt actually wanted to. but nette made me smile. thanks to the playground. i had two blue black on the sides of my thighs. and of course, i fell! nette had to meet norman. gosh,norman again! :x so both of us left vivo and went our own ways. tsk.

nette say:

"IN ORDER TO MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS, CHANGE MUST FIRST START IN YOUR HEART"

030708thursday
school was horrendous! starting was java. and was two hours. it will never ever make my day. worse, i am in a horrible mood. but it turn out to be only about 30 to 45mins. because, lecturer walked out of the class. we were to noisy. and he hasnt finish teaching! anyway i wont understand java. he wont teach that topic again!

i burst out crying after that. and i had to push louis away to get out of the lecture theatre as soon as tears pour out. sorry man! so i just stand outside and just started crying. the girls came and comfort me. they told me their stories. telling me what to. the guys came over to comfort too. they tried making me smile. but i just couldnt. i tried. i was alright after that.

had maths lecture and soon was 2 hour lunch break. went out to eat. we walked to jubilee shopping centre that area to eat and walked back too. weather was super hot! then it was 4 hours of tutorial. database and java. how boring. worse,i was alone.

as the hours pass,it ended! and i headed to sports complex for training. met with connie first. i saw long hair specky guy and i gave him i fright. he asked me twice what course am i in. wierdo. SAME COURSE! went to get change. but dear connie didnt. there, her turn. boyfriend. tsk. she doesnt have the mood. and me feeling so unwell. i couldnt swim either. and we saw 'year7' guy outside. we couldnt decide whether to go. so we went to sports hall. and sit and stare. den we decided to go home. cos her boyfriend seems to threatening her. and i tell hers is super wierd. so contridicting! called mama. to tell her i not going training. so we all went home. talked at the train platform. cos she didnt want to go home. so we talked about what was going within us and just give advices to each other. soon we had to part. ):

came home and watch teevee.
weekiat wish to see my hamster. -__- (my hamster face.)

040708today
school. maths tutorial started the day just nice. not too bad. sad for my math grade! horrendous. weekiat came and sit with me. and was jealous about my grades. :x its just as bad can! then was dmd. was really alone! and dmd was a little difficult at the ending. i think i would be able to complete by next week. hope i can.

break. had lunch. super hungry.

COS was quite a bore. did tutorial worksheet. joethy and i found a way to get the answers but not write out. is to just put the chapter and pg no. isnt it easier? how smart! then we went exploring internet and sleeping. den was home home home. came home alone of course.

God, please tell me if this was meant to be a challenge.
good points,
>I STILL HAVE TO MOVE ON!
>laugh and i will be able to forget my sorrows.

i will continue to pray for God's guidance.

THANK YOU YULIAN FOR THAT PRAYER YOU WROTE FOR ME IN THE POSTCARD

2008-07-02T22:41:00.003+08:00

can you be mine again?

i cried every night. till next morning i get heavy eye bags and triple eyelids. you can imagine how badly i cried.

i dont even have the mood to listen in class, to eat, to even talk to my friends.

sry, i must say. I STILL DO.

but i still wonder why do you still care so much and yet still unsure?
did you ever wish we never met? did you even regret?
please reply me via sms if you have read this question.

how much i love you is that i could even die for you.

like what i said,(few post back)
i wish waters could drown me
blah
blah
blah

2008-07-02T20:47:00.002+08:00

i just wish i had someone to hug.
i just wish i had someone to cry to.
i just wish i had a shoulder to lie on.

(like you always did)

i love you still.

2008-07-02T20:09:00.002+08:00

I JUST FEEL LIKE PON-ING SCHOOL TML!
thanks yulian for the postcard
thanks nette for accompaning me and made me smile

bt once i came home. i was not smiling anymore.
i want to. please give me back my smile. please.

2008-07-01T18:40:00.004+08:00

290608sunday
had sandcastle making at east coast park with church youths. it was fun. and also my first time building. i got burnt. slightly only. benita and i wanted to cycle after that. but decided not. since we paid two bucks for the bus ride. so we took the bus back to church.

had lunch with mummy and headed down to jurong east to get my new laptop bag and laptop fan. then went to jurong library to get books. mum did not me. i just needed to pay the fines. THEY ARE REALLY OUTSTANDING.

came home and tried doing PD. half way done but there is still more. cos i was busy watching tv and doing work at the same time. Chronicals Of Narnia was showing! i finally got to watch it. but still havent got to watch Prince Caspian. tsk.

slept early. and i cried till my whole pillow got wet. ):

300608monday
school starts officially. cos last week i had common test. so it was kind of a break. totally emo-ing. couldnt concentrate cos i was thinking deeply about things. bad things. slept during com skill. how smart. and i went home alone. being alone, listening to music, just makes me want to cry more.

went for training. while training, cried. but i hide away not letting the others know. but till the end, i couldnt take it anymore. i just let it all out. so i had to stop swimming. the others was asking if i was. but i lied. i wasnt. connie knows i am not okay. i headed home as quick as possible and came online to tell nette about it. i mean what happen during swimming. we planned to meet to talk things out.

010708today
nette wokke me up and told me we cant meet. so we might be meeting tml

school as usual. boring. did had lunch. i didnt have the appetide at all la! dmd was rather okay. i did my work quite fast. good. then was math. i have learnt it before. so it was quite slack for me. got someone to get food for me. cos i was really hungry already. came home with the rest and decided to take a bus back in case i cry in public. ):

during dmd, nette send me this msg cos i told her i just feel like crying and not in a mood to do anything

"be strong and courageous! for ther is a power far greater on out side! we have the Lord,Our God to help us fight this battles for us!"2Chronicles 32:7-8
there is someone greater to fight your battles for you. you are not alone, dorcas. God loves you so so, much. confide in Him. i love you too.(:

thanks alot nette.

came home and azizi talked to me.

Azizi - Vocal and Beats- www.misunderstoodsoul.blogspot.com said:
yeah i realised you lost your smile totally
i have lost my smile said:
yeah

and indeed i did. i noticed long ago.

i lost my smile. and i want it back. but only you could get my smile back.

i wish waters could drown me
i wish cars could hit me
i wish i could drink till i get drunk
why am i thinking of doing this? ):

God, help me to be strong

2008-06-28T21:10:00.002+08:00

260608thursday
training. yesh! was rather slack. maybe because there isnt many ppl. so what we did was swim 3K. which was 60 laps of 50metres. WHAT A GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT MAN! thanks to the flippers. make me move faster and further. but give me blisters! ): when i took it off, i tried swimming but it feels like i am not moving at all! finished late. so i reached home late. and i miss tmy channel 8,9 o clock show!

270608friday
met up with group members to do project again. short one. then cheekit went to play pool and i followed him. also went to see the ice skating ring to check out. cheekit played pool for one hour. so i stayed with him for an hour so i can go meet pauline to go school together for gb.

met pauline at the mrt station. den we went off to dover. cheekit soon decided to go vivo to walk by himself. ahahaha. so we 3 took the train together. hahas. but pauline and i stopped at dover la. I SAW THAT PERSON! the one who attended photo course with me. hahaha. what coincidence man!

GB, HOW I MISS GB! its long since i went back for gb already. finally back to help. YESH! i miss fairfield too.

280608today
SWIMMMING WITH DWARFS TODAY. only me and yulian swam la! LOL.
i was early again at nette's house. so while waiting fot the rest to come. i fell asleep! we started swimming late. and we went to heritage view to play with the slide and swing! came home after that!

thats all for today.
watching Tree Of Heaven(again!) instead of doing work! tsk

2008-06-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

最愛の人、私は逃す

2008-06-26T15:04:00.003+08:00

PAPA LEFT FOR FISHING ALREADY! ):
why papa has to leave us and go fishing?
I WANNA GO TOO!

i am leaving too! FOR SWIMMING TRAINING! ):
hahaha. i know i was being lame.
so PARDON ME! (x

>i will come home and blog again!

2008-06-25T20:43:00.013+08:00

YAY! i changed my blogskin. i kinda love this skin. its simple. (:

time flies and its already wednesday. a common test week. though i am done with all my common test, i am left with projects plied up. sometimes i really feel so not discplined to get things done. all i do was slack and slack and slack.

GOD, i need you.

220608sunday

there was cell. mark talked about passion. passion about things we like to do and how we could be able serve in church with our passion. like the way Paul said in Colossians 1:24 - something(i forgot!) this really got me thinking. i really dont know what my passion was. music? nah. i cant play any instrument or sing. so i guess i cant do it either. sports? just thinking what can i serve with this passion. all i told mark was my passion was design. i really love it and all i could say was that cos it was my turn. how could i serve with this passion, i really didnt know. mark told me he will ask adeline to look for me if she needed help in designing stuff. i was okay with it. (: then it was service. i couldnt really hear what the speaker was saying! he always speaks chinese and now he speaks english. i cant hear the words! soon i fell asleep! leti was busy playing games and suddenly she asked me a question "are you awake?" i just woke up and just look away. haha. she knew i was sleeping. after service, went over to have lunch with churchies. my lunch was 5 bucks! can you believe it! hahaha. ate alot la! benita push all the food to me and i had to finish it myself. left with papa&momo to get fishing hooks with uncle john and aunty jo. they are going fishing again. MY HANDS ARE GETTING ITCHY,PAPA! headed home soon!

and and and I SIGN UP FOR HEARTS AFLAME!

230608monday

common test. maths. i really hope i can do well. really pray for good grades.

training. yes! training. common test week still train. ): was indecisive on whether to swim or not. in the end i went. lucky i went. training was rather fun. hahaha. we all had fun! (: bready again!!!(after training of course) and headed home to study for test again.

240608tuesday

common test. digital media & design. i think i will fail. cant remember what i studied! sigh. whatsmore, i cried. YES, I CRIED. others couldnt do it either. how stupid to cry. sigh. joethy came and encourage me again. its always her. and its always me who crys. thanks joethy. i appreciate your encouragement. came home upset! zhiping too. she has to go back to china. ):

250608TODAY

project discussion with maties. yep. didnt really progress much. cos i tried getting away. by watching shows and stuff. cheekit send me a YULE to my mp3 and i was watching the whole time. how naughty can i be? saw a few fairsians. tried watching other show while cheekit play his maple. but i cant watch. how irritating can that be! ): soon i headed home while cheekit when to play his basketball arcade game.

i wish i could have this in my room!!! MOSIAC(is this how its spell?) LOVEEE!

nette send this just now! HOW SWEET CAN SHE BE?! (x LOVEEEE!

>click to enlarge bah!

its the zoo pictures! (:

i will update on zoo as soon as i get hold of all the pictures! then i can mix my pictures and nette's pictures to be on my blog! YAY!
have to wait my love!

PROJECTS ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES. 4 more! and school is starting soon! some started already.

sometimes i wish i had more time.
when i thought about this, it reminds me one part on what Pastor Tony was saying in church camp. "What no time? We all have the same time, 24 hours. We always say no time for this no time for that. But its not we dont have time, is just that we dont put our hearts to it."He related it to quiet time. but it really help me to relate it to my school work. if i had the heart to do my school projects, i know i will be able to finish it good and quick. its just i lack the heart and discipline to do it.

GOD, give me the discipline and heart to get things done right and quick. thank you for Pastor Tony too!

2008-06-21T23:21:00.004+08:00

woke up rather early to have breakfast with family at chinatown market. then mum and dad went to the market while brother and i sat somewhere to wait for them. after marketing, we went to labrador park to walk. yep. the sun was super hot! we sat and talk talk talk. soon we left for tyr warehouse to get my swimming costume. i bought 3 for i dont know what reason! lol. thats alot. soon we headed home. came home to get my DMD project done. done halfway, dad called home to get us down for lunch. how random could he be. and i was in the middle of completing my work! anyway, came home and completed it! OH YES! wanted to study for DMD test. but wasnt in a mood and was rather tired. slept for a while before leaving for dinner again.

we went to ppl's house to have bbq. i can tell you. its rather boring. just eat eat and eat! i am going to get fat after all these eating. lol. had mashmellows at the end. LOVEEE! hahaha. it melts like chocolate. I WANT TO TRY FONDUE! never tried that before. YAY!

thats all! WAIT! i can show you guys my DMD project.

>click to enlarge

PLEASE COMMENT!

2008-06-20T22:42:00.003+08:00

190608thursday
i was up early to get my butt to school to do my DMD project. spend alot of time doing it. trying to make it nice and lovely. asked nette for some inspirations. but talking through msn, its really hard. of course, partner and i spent the whole afternoon. re-do re-do and RE-DO! sometimes its really irritating. but my love for DMD brought the spirit back! HOW GREAT! i just love playing with photoshop. LOVEEE! my other classmates were doing their own projects. so the whole tutorial room was rather havoc. with screaming(maybe not), LAUGHTER AND MUSIC made really really noisy! soon it was time for me to go for training. before that power tripped or either they off the power! lucky i saved my work. cos i was running through electricity instead of battery. how lucky was that!

training for them was rather tough. i was sitting down doing my own work cos i was having period! HOW TERRIBLE! i wish i could train with them! hahaha. melissa said my name is really cool and unique. THANK YOU MAMA!
captain: "aye, why you not swimming?"
dorcas: "(paused to think what to say) err. i having that thing..."
captain: " OHHHHH!"
others: " rubbish leh you!"

came home and shower. dinner. den was back to DMD. mama looked to fascinated, she sat beside me and watch me to my project. she stared till she was sleepy and was time for her to go to bed. and i slept at 1! sometimes mama can be cute, she gets interested in many many cooly cooly things! HAHAHA! i just love my mama the way she is! but not when she is angry. she may become the scariest monster you have ever seen. maybe you never seen a monster before! den NVM! hahaha.

200608TODAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR, SERENE!

woke up rather late. suppose to wake up at 7.30. in the end, i woke up at 8.40. slept through the alarm. how smart can i be? hahaha. kinda rushed here and there to get myself out of the house to go JE library. i thought i would be late. but others were later then me. reached when the library just open. i called yulian and both of us were whispering through our tiny devices called the handphone. didnt expect myself to hear yulian whisper. cos i am a little deaf. hahaha. saw her two guy friends. they were using lappy! since yulian brought her lappy. i borrowed and see see what was in her lappy. PHOTOS! hahaha. many many. soon later, we studied while waiting for the rest to come. chris came. but we continue studying. by the time hwing came. we all wanted to go have lunch. cos yulian,belly and i were super hungry. yulian's stomache growled very loud befor belly came. both yulian and i laughed till our stomaches hurt like crazy! hahahaha. had LJS. yummy with cheese! then i went to buy ting ting tang. it was love love love. then went back to study again. full of laughter and joy. ahahaha. studied a bit more. while i help hwing improve her drawing. started to watch ERZUO. soon everyone was going to leave! first was yulian's friend. then was hwing's bro. then was belly. then was yulian and another guy. den left both hwing and me! so both of us started watch ERMUO. then we started talking about guys liking girls. she started it! hahaha. so i just answer all her questions lor. soon it was time for all of us to head home!

sweets left for malaysia. how funny his parents could be man! last minute then they told him they are going malaysia. its like a surprise. HOW CUTIIE! how my parents would surprise me like that! HAHAHAHA. we were talking about going holidays together with family or without. then i asked him when is he going to tell his parents about us. then he said he think they know already. i insist that he should go ask whether they knew. he suddenly ask me go ask for him. like i knew his parents. hahaha. soon we stopped sms-ing. maybe he reached malaysia side. how cool to travel at night!

how my sweets could be so cute!
sweets: "dorcas, would you be my girlfriend?"
dorcas: "YES,I WILL.(:"
i dont know why he ask me this when i am alrady his girlfriend! HE'S JUST SUCH A CUTIE!

2008-06-18T22:37:00.003+08:00

i miss you. for sure. i wish life wasnt like that at all.

when can i see you again?
when can i hug you again?
when can i hold you hand again?
when can i lie on your shoulders again?
when can we go out again?

i really want to walk that Southen Ridges.
looking at the weather nowadays, i doubt i could walk that Southen Ridges.
i wish i could walk it with you. ):

tml meeting up with classmate to do project. yep. actually hate to get off the house to do projects. i dont mind doing it with secondary friends. but now is nyp classmates. i dont think i will enjoy. sigh. i got to get use to it. BUT STILL I MISS THE FAIRFIELD SPIRIT.

sigh

2008-06-18T14:07:00.002+08:00

I AM IN LOVE WITH MY NIKON D40x!

2008-06-18T12:57:00.004+08:00

i guess i am suppose to do this. THANKS TO NETTE! roar

1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
i dont know. maybe someone that i can trust and lends a listening ear. i really dont know. this still brings me down to DWARFS and most of all,GOD.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
ohhh, goodness. THIS IS ON INTERESTING QUESTION! cos i dont know. maybe, become a professional photographer, professional graphic designer.

3. Who's life would you want to takeaway most?
basically no one. i didnt offend anyone right? DID I?! hope not. i love everyone around me. if i really takeaway someone's life, wouldnt i be charged for murder?!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
A BILLION DOLLARS? did i just marry TIGER WOODS? lol. jk!
a billion is alot! seriously. maybe i would keep 30% to myself to travel and buy my own stuff. 70% to charity, orphange, and china(kunming) that my church adopted.

5. Describe yourself in three words.
blur. HAHAHA alot. quiet cum shy. (is that counted? i feel so thicked skin to answer this)

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
BEING LOVED BY SOMEONE! i could really feel the love when someone loves me deeply. wouldnt you feel the same way too?

7. What's the one wish you'll make this very moment?
to be much more closer to the almighty one.

8. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
seeing my girlfriend! seeing DWARFS AND BOYFRIEND would make it much better!

9. Do you believe in ghosts?
i guess so. there are goodies and badies right? i prefer the goodies. but badies, dont come and haunt me. goodies will protect me! HA!

10. If the person you like secretly is already attached, what would you do?
i cant really do much right? the person i like has already liked someone else. but i believe God will send me one who is better. someone God wants me to be with.

11. Would you like to confess to someone you love by yourself, or through your friends?
by myself! i find that its the proper way. since i like that person, why not just say it myself? its true that its embarrassing and for me i am scared of rejections. but you cant keep it to yourself and at least the other person knows. and maybe some day that person dumped the previous gal for you! you may not know. HAHAHAHA!

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
family, dwarfs, boyfriend, churchies, and of course not forgetting the one up above looking down at us, GOD

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
ANNETTE! thats my girlfriend! HA! its fun being with her. we could really go high. she lends a listening ear. and she gives advices. with her laughter, i could be even happier with her. she is like my little sunshine! I LOVE HER! haha!

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
married and poor. whats more important in life is not money, but the happiness you have found in the family you are in. with my(future) husband and kids, thats enough to make my whole life worth and happy.

15. What is the first job you wanna take once you graduate from school?
i dont know. graphic designer? something to do with my course(it has to be)

16. What's one thing you hate most yet you can't change?
lying.

17. How would you rate the perfection of you life now? On the scale of 1 to 10.
i guess it would be 7. there is so many ups and downs in life. how could it be 10? those up in heaven would be 10 as they are with God.

18. Among your friends, who do you think is/are the most similar with you?
eh? i dont know. everyone is different in the way God made us. besides the two eyes, one nose one mouth, two ears which are similar. I AM TALKING ABOUT INSIDE, NOT THE OUTSIDE

19. What do you think makes you stand out from the others?
blurness? MY UNBLINKABLE EYES!(joshua, jireh and andrew got fascinated about) i dont know.

20. Do you like your house now?
DEFINITELY. with my family, I LOVE MY HOUSE! with fun and laughter everyday, nothing would be better. and my lovely warmth bed with tigger sleeping with me everynight. LOVEEEE!

2008-06-17T21:25:00.003+08:00

I MISS BROTHER! but he would be home tml!

160608monday
went to school for maths optional class to ask questions. soon after that went to meet belly! went back to fmss to collect our graduation cert! HOW BEAUTIFUL! hahas. wanted to stay in school longer. but sadly we cant. i miss the courtyard! i want to go back there again! went to dover for sumptious lunch! den was off to belly's place to study! BUT,we didnt study! belly was watching movie and i was watching tv and i suddenly fell asleep! how smart.

as i sit by Jumbo bus stop, little things from fairfield. be it boyfriend or dwarfies.
boyfriend remind me of the times we spent there just waiting for the bus to take me home.
dwarfies remind me of the times we spent at nette's house cos i had to always take bus from there.
all this little things remind me of FAIRFIELD!

came home quite late. finally boyfriend sms me. i told him everything.

170608tuesday
ZOO WITH NETTE! how better can that be! i just so love being with nette. WE CAN GET SO HIGH! even when its not our first time to the zoo! next time we shall go to the bird park man! HAHAHAHAHAHA. it will be chao fun man! met up with her friends cos her classmates came to the zoo too. lol. but still $16.50 is just so worth! we spend the whole day okay!

i shall let the pictures do the talking!
but i have to wait till nette send me first! ha!
so gotta wait!

2008-06-14T23:24:00.004+08:00

spend my day with lovely bel! at hollandbk. YES! STUDYING. i tried what i could do. but still was distracted by all the things around me. sigh. i cant study. tsk.

studied till about 6 and time to go with family for dinner. but before that send brother to vivo to catch movie with jireh. den left the 3 of us to go makan. and definitely my fave. STINGRAY AND FRIED RICE AT AV! totally love.

went over to see mr ng. ASPIRE HUB NEW TUITION CENTRE IS SUPER BIG! i miss the times we had pizzas! and many laughters. THANKS MR NG FOR TEACHING ME! (:

came back home to get my specs done! yep one screw is much bigger than the other. next time i should use a bolt or nut already. hahaha.

did maths. but still not done. I CANT REMEMBER A SINGLE THING CAN! sigh. forget it.

I WANT YOU BACK! can you at least talk to me?
for many times i beg you.
i really dont want cold wars
maybe i was just too pampered and spoilt

drowning with tears

PROJECTS ARE KILLERS
nyp lecturers, you guys are rather crazy at this course!
5PROJECTS AT ONE GO?! i repeat 5 PROJECTS!
I STILL HAVE COMMON TEST TO STUDY!!!

PROJECTS TO DO?!
-Personal Development
-Communication Skills
-Database Fundamentals
-Digital Media Design
-Java(cannot make it)

>it's biscuits!

2008-06-13T20:28:00.003+08:00

when i needed you, you werent there.
when i didnt need you, you werent there too.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GO WATCH NARNIA WITH ME?
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GO WALK THE TREE TOP WALK WITH ME?
i just wish it was you, who could be the one who ask.
and wish to have a photo with you.

he never he never he never CALL!

from now on i wont ask anymore things. wont want to tell you anything. cos you didnt.

all i wanted was you to myself. but instead friends was first.
MAYBE I WAS JUST TO SELFISH. ):

today was rather boring. ):
what am i doing??! SLACKING? I HAVE TO STOP!

GOD,TEACH ME TO BE DISCIPLINED!

{edit/}
sometimes i really dont know if you understand how i feel
now, i really feel like i am going to fall off your hand soon
i really want to grap you tight, but its like you are going to let go.
am i asking too much?

2008-06-12T22:59:00.003+08:00

went to meet up with classmates to do project. yep. didnt really do much. just discuss who do what. den we went for lunch. yep. how boring. saw many churchie ppl. hahas. as in church ppl. maybe not many. a few. which is only two. daniel and letitia. amd i saw wenjun. how cool is that!

yep training. DRAGON BOATERS STINK WHEN THEY WORK OUT! ewww!

BORING!

i miss fairfield,mylove!

2008-06-11T21:06:00.004+08:00

came back from church camp and extended holiday yesterday. only extended one day la. but its good enough. at least i can get my beauty sleep. haha.

060608friday
YESH! I PON SCHOOL! haha. church was much more important than anything else. letitia grace and benita surprised me with a brownie. THEY REMEMBERED MY BDAY! how sweet!

070608saturday
church camp. TIGGER KEEPS GETTING POPPED BY ANDREWWWW. meanie!

080608sunday
church camp. SHOPPING!

090608monday
church camp and extended holiday with other friends.
joshua was so bored that he has to take tons of unglam photos of me. wierdo
SHOPPING
DINNER WAS AWESOME!

100608tuesday
SHOPPING. taking photos of me?!
the guys were so fascinated over my unblinkable eyes. :/

110608wednesday
star making in school.
SWEETS BDAY. surprised him with a slice of cake.
THANKS IAN FOR THE HELP! yaye!

#i will try to get photos up soon

thats the brownie they surprised me with!

tigger hiding under the blanket!

2008-05-31T23:27:00.010+08:00

GOT MY NEW SLIPPERS! YES. ITS HAVAIANAS. really hope i can have another pair. cant find the one that i wanted. the one at far east. chris would know which is it. its purple stripped! HOW I WISH I COULD HAVE THAT PAIR! mum bought herself a pair too. surprisingly i could wear too. but it looks wierd.

MYPAIR

its pink! i cant any purple one which are nice.

this is nice too!

MUM'SPAIR

it black

AND BOTH HAS TUKY TUKY ON IT!

bday celebration at night at Uncle Gary's restuarant!

drank jap wine. bitterly sweet. wanted to drink up the whole cup at one go. but mum didnt allow!

60%ALCOHOL! i didnt know it until i saw the bottle. can see that pink bottle? thats sake!

had BIRTHDAY MAKI TOO. but didnt take photo

BIRTHDAY ICECREAM

2008-05-31T22:37:00.001+08:00

for now, i find myself lost in the mist of darkness. not knowing what to do.

I AM LOST!

God,guide me.

2008-05-30T23:10:00.002+08:00

I LOVE TO HAVE BALLOONS ON BDAY!
cos i never had one before.

i just wish this year's bday wont be alone again. i spend my bday last year crying. how sad was i? VERY SAD!

dont worry yulian! MY BDAY IS ALSO A SCHOOL! never had it before too!

2008-05-30T22:36:00.003+08:00

maybe i am really just a pea in your eyes. not diamonds or jewels. i just never felt like that before. it seems like you rather be with your friends than being with me. its soon going to be one month that i wont see you. be more exact 4 WEEKS. believe it or not? suit yourself. it looks like you are fine with it. but i am not! ever put yourself in my shoes. ever thought how i would feel if you were in my situation?

i feel so invisible. i feel so insecure. i feel so lonely(this is worse). its either you dont know me anymore or is i dont know you.

{/edit}
one question i ask: "do you still want this to go on? (our relationship)"
one more question: "do you even care?"

I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL!
I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL!
I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL! I DREAD SCHOOL!

i wish i was 7 again and not going on 17.

sweets,hear this! I MISS MY PAMPERED LIFE! (hope you understand soon!)
and i am tired of asking you to find your phone. if you not going to find it soon. means no sms. I HAD ENOUGH!

bday celebration tml at Uncle Gary's place. i miss his food.

DWARFS! i need you badly!

SWEETS! i want/miss you badly! (but i maybe i am already out your life)
am i strangling you?

i guess i have to get use to it.

STRESS! java sucks! FOR REAL! shitty java, i cant even do it! ):

2008-05-29T22:50:00.004+08:00

THANK YOU DMIT0801. really thankful to have you guys around. encouraging me and supporting me all the time. not sure what will happen to me without you guys man!

everyone tried making me smile all the time. TEDDY BEAR MARTIN tried making me smile but i ignore him. shhhh. he doesnt know that i call him teddy bear. Friend tried consoling me but he said he doesnt know what to do. diao. Joethy clean my tears for me. and she kept telling me that i will do just fine. i really hope so man. serene too told me its okay. everone doesnt know how to do. weekiat just told me he doesnt know either. its seems like the whole class dont know and like anyhow tikam tikam. WHY DID I EVEN CRY?!

martin has a wierd way of stopping myself to cry. LAUGH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING. some times i find him really LAME!

but still i have great classmates. I STILL HAVE DWARFS AND SWEETS TO COUNT ON TOO!

AZIZI WROTE THIS. for me i guess? (:

and friend, cheer up. dont cry anymore. i swear i wanted to console you just now. but i just didnt know what to do. anytime you need me, i'll be there. alright? (:

keep smiling, keep shining
knowing you can always count on zi, for suret
hats what friends are for
for good times, and bad times
i'll be on your side forever more
thats what friends are for

>sweets, dont think the wrong thing k. FRIENDS! friends only!

2008-05-28T21:12:00.002+08:00

bday coming soon. sigh. i really hope i can celebrate with dwarfs and boyfriend. I MISS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BADLY! i wish i could see them everyday.

I WANTS (for bday)
THAT BAG!(both me and shuyi saw it)

BIG BIG TIGGER SOFT TOY!

new pair of slippers (havaianas)

DWARFS AND BOYFRIEND!

it seems like i have alot of bags. AND I AM ASKING FOR MORE BAGS! ):

i feel so bad!

I MISS THE DWARFS BADLY!

2008-05-22T21:10:00.002+08:00

beautiful colours all around me. purple pink blue green and others. for now i see grey. grass are grey. trees are grey. my purple has gone grey. i wish tml and every next day would be colourful.

i dont know what to. i regretted asking that question. "can we meet tml?" 3 weeks! ITS BEEN 3 WEEKS! we havent met. hardly hearing each other. not even holding a finger.

NOW, i feel like i am out of his life. his friends seems more important. one day was out with his friends, another day was sick(cant help it), another day was something he has to do, den tml "SRY,i am going out with my friends." its like what the hell! WHAT ABOUT ME?!

i am no longer important. i rather not ask any more things from him.

I MISS MY PAMPERED LIFE! now, i had to depend on myself. but i know God will be there for me though he wont be.

GIRLFRIEND, i miss you! ):

2008-05-20T19:58:00.003+08:00

sunday180508
morning was church. sneezing all the way during cell. claire was laughing all the way while teaching. lol. had service after that. actually there isnt anything much. had class gathering at night. at Karan's place. its only half the class. LOL. its not a gathering at all. mr ganesan didnt come! HOW SAD! i miss him and also mr firhad! hahas. we ordered macs. kfc was so troublesome! no drink. whatsoever. lol. macs was much more better. while waiting for macs to arrive. we surprised wenxi with a cake. that was super cool! hahas. but she didnt blew out the candles cos the fan did it for her. so i told blow her imaginary candles. hahas. AND SHE DID! macs arrived but one set of meal was MISSING! lol. was hwing's. we tried to order again. and hwing kept complaining to the other side of the phone. lol. trying to get supervisor? no need already. she cancelled the order. and yulian said go somewhere else eat la. hahas. nette and i wanted to go back. i wanted to go her house. but yulian wanted us to go. so we went all the way to JE to get hwing's dinner. lol. ate till about 11.45. and rushed to get the last bus. NO LAST BUS! ran to try get the last train. and again! NO LAST TRAIN. so both nette and me had to take a cab home. SAD! hahas. drove me back den nette. mummy was kinda worried that i was alone in the taxi cos before i told her the change of plans was send nette first den me. but it turn out the other way. so mummy wasnt that worried anymore. reached home rather late! lol.

>photos will be up soon!

monday190508
woke up late. like 9 plus. rush breakfast and rush to TYR sales but in the end also never buy anything. cos there isnt a swimming costume that i want! HOW FRUSTRATING! went to have an early lunch. teochew porridge! YAY! i love love love! came home and amazingly i went back to sleep and wooke up at 3 reaching 4. i reached home at like 12 plus and den i just went straight to sleep. hahas. rather tiring. and it was quite amazing that i could sleep at night! hahas.

today200508
SCHOOL! had DMD test. how scary! but i manage to complete and it about the same as the sample. was so happy that i knew how to do. hahas. but some was kinda upset cos they didnt know. PPL! DONT SAD ALREADY! louise was asking if i knew. hahas. and i told him i dont know. so he ask me this and that. den he say i know. but actually i ask ppl one. hahas. only some i do myself. yep. CM was pigging out. brought childhood snacks ad pass the rest to louise they all. cos it was his favorite. lol. okay. den went with cheekit, tian fu and zhiping to get bday present for pohkim. and both me and zhiping bused home.

AZIZI> dont sad already la. what's done is done. you cant continue brooding over it. though its 15% your quizes might pull it up. SO DONT UPSET ALREADY. others also dont know how to do. if you brood over it. what can you do? get 15% ? of course not right? SO DONT EMO ALREADY!

2008-05-06T20:03:00.002+08:00

God knows what i was going through. and he gave me this passage this morning.
i not sure if its related but just want to share.

Grief Is Messy {1Thess 4:13-18}
On novenber 14,1970, a plane crash took the lives of most of the Marshal University football team, the coaching staff, many community leaders of Huntington, West Virginia. Seventy-five lives were lost in the crash, which devastated the university and the community. Two of the people who lost loved ones where Paul Griffen and Annie Cantrell. Their stories interwined becase Griffen's son, Chris, was Annie's husband to be. When Chris died, their lives were plunged into a year of pain that seems unbearable. Why? Because, as Paul told Annie in the film portraying the tragedy, "Grief is messy."

He was right. grief is messy. all oof including those of us who are Christ-followers. For the believer, however, there is something beyound the tears, pain, and loss. There is hop.

Writing to a church family who has seen loved ones taken in death, Paul acknowledge the reality of grief. but he challenged them not to "sorrow as others who have no hope" (1 Thess 4:13). Loss and death are part of life, but believers can face them, knowing that Christians never say goodbye for the last time. We can comfort one another(v.18) with the hope of the resurrection and a future reunion.

The Lord has promised to prepare
A place in heaven above -
A home where we will always be
With Him and those we love

Because Christ lives, death is not tragedy but triumph.

God made me forget all the things that happen. i told him to take away everything that has happen be it grief or sadness. AND HE DID. i was having so much fun in school. friends were saying i was super high. i really hope God will continue to do this slightest things in me.
THANK YOU GOD!

2008-05-05T18:16:00.005+08:00

i love the quietness as i sit outside of FAIRFIELD office. mugging for O's. making people think i got detention. but it was just accompany my friend to sit there to mug mug and mug.

if i was to sit there staring at the FAIRFIELD BADGE AND THOSE WORDS" FAIRFIELD METHODIST SECONDARY SCHOOL", the slightest thing that happen everyday in school just come back to mind. quarrelling with good friends to making up with good friends. going early to school to leaving school late in the evening. meeting new friends in cca to becoming goodies in the cca. from having oppotunities in doing community service in singapore to doing them overseas(nepal). from sadness to smiles. from bitterness to sweetness. from handshakes to hugs.

FAIRFIELD had left me a good impression after leaving the school. its been 10 years. yes,10years. and i am still proud to be a fairsian and will always be.

meeting dwarfs was a great opportunity. with so many laughter and smiles. and there hardly any quarrels. maybe its just me.

meeting my sweets in primary school was awesome. didnt expect it okay!

without this few ppl in my life. HOW BORING!

I LOVE MY LIL FRIENDS AND OF COURSE I LOVE YOU SWEETS.

really thank God for placing me in FAIRFIELD(sec)

thank you mum and pap for placing mr FAIRFIELD(pri)

I WILL STILL JUMP FOR MY LOVELY FAIRFIELD!

2008-05-05T16:42:00.002+08:00

i bet sweets went clubbing or pub or something. he reached home at like sunday morning.
rahh! let him be.

typical ppl. brother went drinking that very same day. he's into alcohol. he said joshua drove. so i suppose joshua drove him back

2008-05-05T15:58:00.004+08:00

I AM SO LOST IN BETWEEN.

really dont want to say it out. maybe i really cant say it. cos the rest would be able to read it. i mean my classmates. i really dont want them to know. maybe they will question me after reading this. i bet azizi would ask. i think. i dont know.

but nette, chris and sweets really could understand what i had gone through. chris told me not to emo. nette told me not be sad. sweets told me not to cry. i was such a meanie and told him not bother about me. I WAS SUCH A MEANIE!

i really cant get it off my mind. i cried terribly that day when i suddenly thought of those slightest things. I REALLY MISS MY LITTLE FRIENDS.

i really feel like talking to cheryl about this when i meet her on friday during break. i really hope its just me and her. i dont know why i had this feeling of telling her this when i dont even know how is she look like, or who is she. i really hope its God's calling for me to tell her what is happening and at least she could help me. the thing is that i am afraid i would break down in front of her while telling all of those to her.

God, guide me along. i really dont know what to do.

I HAVE BEEN EMO-ING THIS FEW DAYS. sigh.

{/edit}
i really want to stop emo-ing!

2008-04-29T22:44:00.003+08:00

Have we "sold out" the way Esau did? ( HEB 12:16) has the lure of wealth , power, prestige, position, sercurity, style, or he approval and praise of others led us to barter away God's riches for a single meal?

Esau sought to change his father's mind and gain the inheritance he had forfeited by the duplicity, but he could not set right the damage he had done. He had to live with his decision. Neither can we tun back the clock and undo the wrong we have done to ourselves and to others.

Although the past is irrevocable, there can be a new day before us, filled with new chances, new opportunities, and new expectations. God will not redo the past, but when we repent He can and will forgive us and set us on a new path.

The Lord can give us opportunities to show how we have truely repented of the decisions of the past and how much we long to serve Him in the decisions to come. He will never mention the deeds by which we've shamed other and ourselves; the are forgiven and forgotten forever.

God will give us a place to begin - to love, to serve. to touch others profoundly and eternally for His sake. This demostrated the greatness of our heavenly Father's forgiving love to us.

Dear Lord, be merciful to me;
My sin has grieved Youre heart;
And grant to me Your strength anew
To make a fresh, new start.

GOD'S FORGIVENESS IS THE DOOR TO A NEW BEGINNING.

Passage: HEB 12: 12-17

green: words that speak to me
white: taken for QT material(for the top)

this passage really spoke to me. telling me not to be greedy and at the same time telling me that just repent to God and He will forgive. and God has already set a path, a right path for me and for others. with so many different challengers to go through. you and i do not know what will the path be like. easy or difficult? God set it for us and all we have to do is to ASK! whatever wrong doings we have done, just ask for forgiveness. and God would be willing to forgive us.

I AM SURE HE WILL! right God? (:

2008-04-25T20:49:00.002+08:00

sorry ppl havent been udating for quite some time. have been real busy with school work this whole week. yeah. really tiring. but my class has been really keeping me really high. with INTERESTING PPL. what they always say. hahas. we are like just one bunch of monkeys. really fun though.

from school to cca to school work. its been really tiring but it seems God gave me some bunch of interesting ppl to be with. God gave me strength to go through this whole week smoothly. esp through swimming. and school.

210408monday
normal school day. with tutorials and lectures. lectures could really make me sleep. worse was that i always take the back sit. hardly listen. OOPP is just so boring. I HATE THE LECTURER. shitty! it make me like hate the subject. sigh. i shall bear with it. i got my first hmwk of the day and week. which is PSNDEV( personal development) due on sunday 2359. the teacher just so cute giving that kind of date line. lol. communication skills was rather exciting. hahas. the tutor really haas loads of jokes to say. she is really cute. hahas. rushed home after class.

had training. i mean swimming training. arms started aching after the twos hours or less training. died halfway. cos it was really really tiring. the coach said usual training is 2k. but that was the minimum. that means there is more to it. i was like going to faint. even the seniors also said that. and we talked about all the trainings and stuff. den i headed home cos it was getting late.

that day was really tiring. i tried sleeping wherever i went but i just cant. lol.

220408tuesday
went to school slightly later. as usual lectures and tutorials. there was DMD. super fun okay. using macromedia dx. making movies and stuff. sadly i dont have the programm. if not i would be like playing now. hahas. had maths lecture for two hours. i just love love maths. i really could survive 2 hours of maths. cos secondary school i have been trained to sit for maths lessons for 2 hours. with of course breaks. with mr ganesan. any maths problem is possible. hahas. nothing really happened that day. it was really kinda short day. thought we end at 4. walked round the school to get our admin card and order photoshop cs3. went back really late. hahas.

230408wednesday
really short day. DMD e-learning. got full marks for quiz. cos muru helped me! THANK YOU MURU! hahas he is my lab partner. mostly sat with him for lab. cos i keep asking him question den zhiping will ask me. its like a chain. lol. had DF and OPP. super boring can. OPP is crazy. i was so eager to go home i forgot what time class end. lol.

rushed out of class to meet wenxi and hwee eng at SP. was kinda late. cos i really didnt know how long i would take to go dover from yio chu kang. its super far can! hahas. but its worth it meeting my darlings. headed to holland to get birthday cake and had lunch there. met bel at BK. collected the cake. me and bel went to get a balloon for sop to give nette. lol. MY MONEY! lol. now they owe me money. hahas. headed back to SP and met up with sop. headed into SP to surprise nette with the cake, balloon. and of course us! HAHAS. she is touched. YAY! hahas. ate the cake. really yummy. is ice cream cake by the way. headed to everyway they rest went. hahs. den i wanted to leave to meet boyfriend. so they brought me out to take bus while the rest went back to fairfield. hahas. yep. i met up with boyfriend. missed many many bus. hahas. soon i had to go home so he can go home and study maths. came home and did CS hmwk. i have to remind AZIZI that he has to do hmwk. WTH! hahas. i will i will.

240208thursday
normal school. but long long day! sian can! lectures and tutorials make me getting bored every single lesson. went out for lunch too. lab was fun with those ppl. here and there" help me! " "do what?" "i dont know leh" its always this few sentences. hahas. and non stop. hahas. ended really late like 6 plus. didnt go for training. didnt tell sofi. goodness. nvm. wasnt feeling to good to go training. so i decided to head home. trained home with cheekit and zhiping. saw that same old guy with that super glue head. i started laughing non stop. when i reached my stop. i quickly rushed out co si scared he bash me up. hahas.

bused home with zhiping back home. she stopped the same as me. walked back the same route as me. and only that day i found out that she stay like a few blocks away from me. lol. like beside MACS. lol. i know its really weird to know only that day. ahahahas. at least i had someone to go home with thats all.

250408today
school. fun day of course. hahas. math tutorial was alrighty. den was DMD. continue my lab work . den there was disaster. POWER TRIP. my work was gone. i didnt save! lol. played around with all the laptop was on. martin said i was wierd cos i keepplaying with his den to tianfu. and tried playing with zhiping one. but power was back. but i still cant find my work in that stupid computer. so irritating. den was break. didnt really eat alot. wasnt that hungry. hahas. den went to macs. cos the rest wanted to get fries. was late for class. cos they walk so slow. so me and zhiping left without them. so they were later den us. saw nettez. she was laughing at both me and zhiping cos we cant find the class. and we didnt know we could go from the other door. lol. COS was really fun man! hahas. all of us kept laughing non stop. hahas. while doing worksheet. those around me was asking everyone " go where find the answer??" " internet la!!" those questions keep coming out when they already on internet. actually is just AZIZI. he just kept asking " go where find go where find" all i could say was internet. in the end i had to help him do. den joethy was at the side there copyiing. hahas. muru was copying answer from me. he didnt want to follow boss anymore so he follow me for i dontknow why. hahas. cos i got the answer. lol. but today was really fun la. joethy was asking alot of wierd question about me and boyfriend. cos she saw my blog. hahas. okay. i tried answering all . but some i didnt. cos i dont even understand what she asking. lol

went back for gb. practically doing nothing. saw yulian too. hahas. when me and pau reached was like PT already. so i went for like nothing la. hahas. met up with boyfriend again. yulian and wenxi also said again. hahas. they said at the same time also. so cute! hahas.

now i am back here. blogging. and i found my webcam! YAY!

2008-04-19T21:23:00.003+08:00

topic: AMERICAN IDOL

i still wonder why is Jason Castro is still in the Top6 after the recent elimination. i think he should be the one being elimanted instead of Kristy Lee Cook. Kristy has been improving every week but not Jason. oh goodness. hear him sing can make me fall asleep. like what Simon said before: "its like you(Jason) singing to sleep in your bedroom." that i so angree with Simon. i rather have him eliminated than Kristy. Kristy s just far too much better than Jason.

SORRY no offence. though Jason is handsome (i agree with that) but he just cant sing!

but really want to CONGRATULATE KRISTY. she is getting married! goodness. that could really make her happy thought she was out of AMERICAN IDOL. but she can continue singing as her career.

IN TOP 6

David Cook
David Archuleta
Jason Castro
Brook White
Syesha
Carly

this guys had did really a good job getting into TOP6. its really good.
Jason Castro; please let this be your last time and END OF JOURNEY.

ps:no offense to those who love Jason for his looks and not the vocals.

the rest of them has good vocals but depends on the song choice. if they chose the wrong song. their journey ends soon. SO GOOD LUCK GUYS. keep practicing!

today went for POLY GARAGE SALE in the late evening. brother was there to help cos he was part of SYFC. brother brought as round the area. didnt know what to get. so walk round again. saw that grey cardigan. but as we walk to get something else. it was sold to someone else. how stupid not to take it! lol. brother and mum bought spectacle frame. while i bought laptop skin which is so much cheaper outside. and is designed by one of the shop owner! how good is that!MY CARDIGAN IS GONE! sigh! maybe i shall go to bugis and get one. ha! isnt it better. but that one seems nicer! arh! whatever. its gone!

went for dinner after picking up brother. had a good meal. came home after that. didnt know where to go. so came home. and again using the laptop. hahas. talked to Azizi again on msn. he is super sian la. nothing to do but to talk to me. lol. but he is really nice to talk to. funny person!

SWEEETS!!! COME ONLINE!!! I WANT TO SEND YOU SOMETHING!!!! (x

and I LOVE YOU SWEETS!

{/edit}
CCC (Campus Crusade for Christ) called if i would be attending the freshman tea party. i not sure if i should go. i not sure if i have photography club on wednesday. and tes party is on wednesday too! I CANT DECIDE!

2008-04-18T23:10:00.004+08:00

170408yesterday
GOODNESS! longest day ever okay! IT SUCKS! 9am to 6pm. 6 hours lecture and tutorial. AND ONLY 2HOURS OF BREAK! i repeat 2HOURS only. learn quite lots of things during the day. esp tutorials. learn java and data stuff. reall cool! the thing is i get really stressed up when using the school computers. sometimes really hard to catch what the lecturer says. and den the whole will like go "do what ah?" "like that den how?" real funny when the whole does that. maths lecture was really fun learning all the binary stuff. but its only 50 mins. learning computer stuff was actually not my cup of tea. but too bad. my course os both multimedia and computer stuff. so i have no choice. but class MIT0801 make all lessons so so interesting! funny ppl i will say. they are really interesting.

AND! went to AMK HUB lunch. the class splitted into two. some went somewhere else to eat and only 8 went to AMK to have lunch. we spend alot of time deciding where to eat. but we got back in school in time for lectures and tutorials. yep! went back real late. trained home with zhiping and cheekit. crowded! super! while walking back saw PAULINE. chatted and pau saw SHEENA! hahas. miss those girls man. though i may see pau during GB. hahas. i still miss her. continue chatting. and den we went separate ways. walked home.

180208today
had tutorials the whole day. maths, digital media design and computer system. we ended early. cos we were well behaved during computer system tutorial. i know it seems so much like secondary school. its just that week one was just intro for that module. hahas. maths was as usual fun! hahas. digital was a bit stressed up cos i totally forgot how to do it after learning it in sec2. hahas. but all i need was to follow instructions on the list. lol. okay.

whole class went for cca showcase after school. sign up for swimming and photography club. cant wait for swimming trials. but the thing is no one joined with me! roar! trained back home wih zhiping. went to meet up with sweets. he came all the way to bukit batok to meet me. and shun bian deposit his money. HIS BANK ONLY HAS LIKE $1. i was like HUH?! erm okay. i thought he was kidding! lol. walked back home together. he helped me carry my laptop! HOW SWEET! stayed at void deck a while and played! HAHAS. really funny. sweets just like tickling me and biting my ear off. and licking lollipops. hahas. den it was time to go home. cos i have to rush home to get ready to go changi to get PAPA! he is back already. PAPA bought alots of sweets and bought things for me! THANK YOU PAPA!

talked to Azizi!

Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
anyway
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
linked
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
(:
WE BOTH WORE BLACK! thats cool! says:
i havent linked you yet!
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
i can see that
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
hmph!
WE BOTH WORE BLACK! thats cool! says:
sorry la!
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
nah
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
kidding la
Thierryazizishevchenko@msn.com says:
(:

I LOVE DMIT0801!!!!

2008-04-16T17:29:00.011+08:00

today was just a short day in school. pretty slack. COS ITS ONLY 2 HOURS OF SCHOOL! shortest day in the week. lessons were pretty not bad. DMD elearning and DF lecture. sry i didnt really listen in DF lecture. if i have the notes with me, maybe i will listen a little. so far lectures were pretty okay. i still could remember yesterday's COS lecture. no one was listening! some were busy using notebooks. i was one of them. trying to connect to NYP wireless network. its super irritating anyway. only connected successfully while having lunch break in the canteen. that was yesterday.

went to Block R to get books which i needed for the course. 7 BOOKS ALTOGETHER. i repeat 7 BOOKS! its killer okay. and worse thing was it was already about noon when i started walking back home from Bukit Batok MRT. and i had to carry all the books back myself. KILLER BOOKS! hahas. i tried to walk as slow as possible so i wont perspire. but the sun was scorching hot! my sweat glands cant resist but drool their saliva all over me.(simple saying: perspire) (x came back and used the laptop again. it seems i got hooked! hahas. its really cool can!

i am still thinking if i should bring to school tml. cos i have an hour break! thats so little!
THURSDAY IS GOING TO BE THE WORSE DAY OF THE WEEK!
>from 9am to 6pm.

how was is that?! VERY VERY VERY BAD!

I'M FOREVER YOURS by Planetshakers

I give my all to you

Send me and i will go for you

To the ends of the earth

I'll follow after you

I want the world to know

Your love endures forever

Tell me and i'll obey

This is far greater than sacrifice

Trusting you and not myself

Will always lead to blessing

Lord have your way in me

Not my will, yours be done

Here i stand within your presence

Longing for your touch

A thousand days cannot compare

To one day in your courts

Hold me now

And never ever let me go

My jesus, my precious saviour

I'm forever yours

I will worship you forever

I will worship you

Thank you God for sending this song right through my mp3 while on my way to school this morning. it really touched me this morning. reminding the slightest things You have done in me.
this words...
"Here i stand within Your presence
Longing for Your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in Your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious Saviour
I'm forever Yours"
...really speaked to me. reminding me that YOU ARE MY JESUS, MY PRECIOUS SAVIOUR that you will never ever ever let me go no matter what happens to me. and i know that you will always be there for me whenever troubles i have. you will forgive me when SATAN gets his evil hands on me making me do things that are so not pleasing to You.

but still i am still Longing for Your touch
and still I'm forever Yours

2008-04-14T21:05:00.002+08:00

yulian's right. i should better move on.

must learn to be strong k.. though we may not be
together in the same sch..
but still we are together in heart trusting in the same
god!! and im so glad about it!!=D

thanks yulian for that encouragement. it really helps.
and thanks for those who has been by my side, telling me not to be worried about school
thanks sweets for being there spending every single second we had and thanks for LJS.

today was first day of school. i thought it would be horrible. but it turn out kinda well. first period all of us were separated. but it was quite interesting for first period. i got lost finding my way to Block N. but i had Zhiping to save me. ha. we had lecture. den was another period den was off we go home. we didnt had self study! YAY. we headed to koufu to had lunch. me and zhiping. headed to library to get my product key for laptop. den we both headed home. we stay near each other. so it was good.

came back and do my laptop. lucky i found chris to help me. he made me do new password. but i do not need to. but he still help me think of password like "dorcasisacutepiggy". that was nice. soon another new name. its cute. hahas. started playing wih new toy. its really cool! and its fun.

DADDY BE HOME SOON! I MISS YOU ALREADY! i bet mummy feels lonely! i shall sleep with mummy. heh. SORRY PAP!

2008-04-11T14:37:00.002+08:00

i really wish i had one really close friend to be with me. in the same poly. in the same course. in the same class.
sometimes i feeel so out of place in class. it really dont have anyone to talk to about sadness. dont have anyone to push me how God is so amazing doing kind of stuff.
sop nette and yulian has been teaching me alot.
and now everything just stops right there.
no one to teach me anything anymore.
i have to go through it myself.
teaching by myself cos there isnt anyone to rely on anymore.

I JUST DONT FEEL THE SAME ANYMORE!

2008-04-05T23:01:00.004+08:00

it seems that he wouldnt bother about me. maybe anymore.

i really dont know whats wrong. is it me?
i dont know what did i do
at least tell me what i did
you are just going to keep that golden mouth of yours shut
you and i know it wouldnt help
SO AT LEAST TELL WHATS WRONG?
wth.

sry. i am going all crude again.
maybe i am in a bad mood i will

2008-04-05T22:33:00.004+08:00

040408friday
yesterday was back to school for GB. pau made me go. she called and asked me to. i was supposed to go back to NYP to collect my laptop. but it seems the person didnt call. so i went to school instead of waiting for the person to call. was supervising the Sec2s for drill with joy molina. but valentis had hard time dealing the sec1s. so she asked me to help. so okay. HORRENDOUS! they look so GOOONG can!! paul also made me sign up for the countdown to fairfeild's birthday. so okay. just go lor. i thought i would be going alone. but the ex EXCO members seems to be going back! cool. GB ending early. had a small meeting with Ms Ong. den went to meet en en at GB room to accompany her to wait for tim. he took years! when i was just about to go back. saw wenxi and talk talk. yep. AND SHE IS GOING FOR THE COUNTDOWN. finally i have someone to go with me. talked for quite some time. dragon boaters came back. i kinda envy those ppl. i really want to go dragon boating with them. with wenxi and nette. but sigh. nvm. went back home after that. douglas is so kind to take macs from both wenxi and me. it was mr ow's! anyway he still remembers me! ha! my shoe died when i came home. IT TIME TO GET NEW ONES! came home real moody. started crying because of everything! leslie kor and boyfriend.

050408saturday
woke up early to go back school for countdown. really fun! got quite sick. having stomach ache almost every minute. sigh. it was horrible. made a gigantic human fairfield badge. really cool! they made us dance. hahas. it was cute. went to primary school. wanted to play uno. but in the both wenxi and i decided not to. talked about loads of things with wen soplu and chris. thinking about old school days. really very memorable. saw many primary school teachers we knew. MRS THAM!! I MISS HER! her son is super cute can! went to get food and headed back to secondary school. wen started laughing at us. cos we had food. ITS FREE. continue talking. and wen said we shall go for an aussie tour after Year3! stayed back for quite some time. took loads of pics with wenxi. we didnt wierd stuff that we never did before last four years in fairfield
WEN, I CANT WAIT! hahas. (:
met up with boyfriend. my ice cream got super frozen though its hot. i guess you wont understand. if you do, WOW! he went back with me. though i didnt ask. its good. got real tired and i slept. ireally cant continue this part. I HATE IT!

pictures will be up as soon wenxi send me the pics.

toodles guys.

tml : church, groceriy shopping, picnic at the Botanic Gardens cun SSO musical!
ROCKING COOL!

2008-04-05T00:21:00.003+08:00

ITS 199 DAYS TO LESLIE KOR'S DEATH ANNIVERSARY.
cos of fairfield countdown thing reminds me of his tragic death

2008-04-04T23:53:00.003+08:00

God,support me. i really cant stand anymore

it seems like i am nothing anymore ):

默默的哭

2008-04-03T23:25:00.003+08:00

sometimes i really dont know how to feel
its either envy or jealous
its really hard to figure out how i really feel at that point of time
all i just wanted to get closer
but it seems its others but they are not
i really dont know
guys, if you really dont understand what i am talking
dont question, cos i really dont know how to explain
and i dont really want to talk about it
its only me that understands what i am talking
cos its me. like duh?

as i listen, little things from that very scene flows back to the little mind of mine
the song so sweet. the scene just so much like what had happened to you

LESLIE KOR! i really miss you.
and also,
HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY! before i forget.
thank you for being me that great friend
who always cheers me up since i knew you when i was in primary school
and you are like my big brother to me
cos our age was totally far apart

2008-04-01T13:56:00.017+08:00

its been a week since i last blogged. sorry peeps. i shall update soon. may be now! (:

260308wednesday

went over to nette's place. but was late. cos i had an appointment in the morning. i was suppose to watch STEP UP but in the end nette was watching 惡作. thats cos i have to rush over to school to pass en en some recipe she needed for her F&N coursework. so nette went back to school to collect her O LEVEL cert. stayed back in school for quite some time. till about 3 plus reaching 4.

I SO SO SO MISS FAIRFIELD NOWADAYS. i wish i could be a student in fairfield again.

WAIT THE CUP!!!

THE FOOD SEEMS TO TASTE REAL GOOD!
though is just 1 fried tofu and 2 nuggets

read this funny story!

funny story.

see, the uncle had always let me out of the school after hours before, but
not this time. so we had to walk by the front gate. and guess who did we meet
but MISS WONG! hahaha. i really missed her, and i told her so. here's how the
conversation went.
"MISS WONG!"
"Annette. How nice to see you. And you're back here at school
because....?"
"To get my O Level Cert- (looks down at empty hands) AHHHH! It's still in
the T-Zone!"
(turns and run with dorcas to t-zone)

ahhahaha. stupidest thing EVER. dorcas and i were laughing about it all the
way home.

Moral of the story?
Everything happens for a reason.

270308thursday BINTAN TRIP!
packed for bintan in the morning. i was so excited i had nothing to do but run round the house asking what time are we leaving. soon we left the house at about 11 plus. so we should reach the ferry terminal by 12 plus. wanted to take a nap in the taxi. but when it was the wrong timing. we reached. mummy went to get our boarding pass. and w headed straight into the waiting area. brother got so hungry that he bought sandwish. and dad bought me my favourite drink. PINK GUAVA. the one at JUMBO. its nice. AND HEALTHY. when its was time to board the ferry. we rushed to the front. typical singaporeans. we always want the good seats right. scan the pass and gave it to some guy. and soon we are all on the ferry! it was super rocky. cos its was monsoon season. water is really very choppy! daddy couldnt make it. hahas. we bought food again. but its super oily. brother and i was complaining. hahas.

when we reached, we still had to pass through the immigration. so troublesome. but it was quick. boarded the bus to NIRWANA RESORT. the place really nice and good. as we got of the bus. there was some little performance. it was to welcome us. isnt it nice? we also had cocktail. we headed straight to the counter to get our keys to our room. WE GOT CONNECTING ROOM! YAY! brother and i changed into our swim wear and headed to the pool and beach. pool was kinda boring so i suggested why not we go the the beach to tan. ha. saw crabs!! den i decided to go back to the room. cos its like getting late. any way both of us didnt know the timing. no watch! hahas. brother went to gym while i went to take a shower. mummy too. den both of us watched tv to wait for the guys to be back.

something really cute happen when we were walking back to our rooms. i smiled to the cute little boy. and he smiled back. but the thing was he was smiling and walking. and he nearly fell! cos he walked all the way to the steps which leads to the shower. luckily he stopped and look. if not that boy really would fall.

we went to PASAR OLEH OLEH to have dinner. HELO HELO RESTAURANT. hahas. cute name hur. had seafood. real good! brother and i went over to one shop to look at bands. i bought 7! 6 for the dwarfs and one for me. brother bought too. but his snapped when we were on theway back to the resort. sigh. mummy rushed for her body spa. and she came back looking like she was being robbed. her hair was so messy! hahas.

280308friday BINTAN TRIP!
woke up early and went for breakfast. breakfast was good! mummy said we shall go for a 6 hour trip round Bitan for 100 bucks. but in the end we didnt go. cos we didnt have enough cash. sigh. in the end brother and i headed for the pool. while daddy and mummy booked a buggy for an hour to travel around the small area.i started to get real bored so we went back to the room. and eat KIMCHI NOODLES. hahas. den we headed down to ride the buggy. but in the end we had to wait one hour. cos there isnt enough buggy. we went to see parrots and snakes. i saw a big vulture, two eagles and an owl. we saw aligators too! we took our buggy and daddy drove to kelong restaurant to check out the menu. cool place. den we left and continue the ride down to the entrance and back. we check out the beach club. and mummy said its so mush nicer den the beach just outside of the pool. and she said we quickly go back and come here. and so we did. we rushed and bring all the things we needed. and went to the beach. water feels so so so warm. we stayed till about in the evening and went back to shower. co swe were all burnt and decided not to stay any longer. went back and took a shower while daddy went to gym. i fell asleep on mummy's bed.

went to THE COFFEE SHOP to have dinner. just downstairs our rooms. i had fish and chips. so did brother. I LIKE THE FISH AND CHIPS! its really tasty. they are super generous with the tartar sauce la! singapore one is so selfish! hahas. ate till we got real full. and soon went back to our rooms. to watch more tv! i watched korean show. but dont understand a thing.

290308saturday BINTAN TRIP!
woke up early again to go for breakfast. same old food! YUCK! but we just ate whatever its there. brother wanted to trick me.
brother: DORCAS. try. very nice.
me: whats inside?
brother: watermelon and (something. i forgot)
me: den whats the orange thing?
daddy: PAPAYA LA!
me: eee. den i dont want le.
brother: DADDY! why you say?
all of started laughing so loudly like we owned the whole place. den suddenly daddy said something.
daddy: NO NO NO. its not papaya. dorcas eat!

after breakfast. we quickly packed our stuff. and hire a taxi to bring us to PASAR OLEH OLEH again to do some shopping. i didnt buy anything there. not nice. so mum ask if we could go to FACTRY OUTLET. and we did. we all bought nice clothes! and soon we all headed back. cos i was a little uncomfortable. soon we all headed back home to singapore!

i try to upload the pictures soon.

300308sunday
went to temple! I HATE IT! den church! YAY!

310308monday
went out with belyeo. she reall could shop man! she bought alot of things. while me! i bought two long sleeve shirt. and thats all. hahas. i saw cheryl god wth shawn. they look like they are together. but i dont know. dont bother much. hahas. soon we headed back home. we went into an ID machine to take photo. but using a camera! hahas.

i will get the photos soon when bel uploads it!

010408TODAY
ITS ONE YEAR SWEETS! since we last got back together.